Hoax About Atheist Teacher Suspending Student Who Said ‘Merry Christmas’ Goes Viral December 18, 2013

Hoax About Atheist Teacher Suspending Student Who Said ‘Merry Christmas’ Goes Viral

The War on Christmas meme must not be going too well if you have to resort to making shit up.

How about this wild tale: A San Francisco elementary school suspended a 9-year-old student the other week because he wished the homeroom teacher “Merry Christmas.” The teacher is an “outspoken Atheist”; obviously, therefore, the student’s insolent act of cheer and holiday spirit had to be punished.


It’s not even remotely true, but the hoax went viral anyway.

The rumor originated about six days ago on what appears to be a satirical website called the National Report, which features content designed to look like real news stories.

A story on the site said a fourth-grader at “Argon Elementary” in San Francisco was given a weeklong suspension for saying “merry Christmas” to his homeroom teacher, an atheist. The site later changed the school name to “Anon.” …

The story also named the boy, the boy’s mother and the teacher – none of whom exist.

Still, the hoax went viral, with the National Report site garnering about 20,000 likes and shares on Facebook as of Tuesday. Nearly 400 links were made to the original story on Twitter feeds. Dozens of online sites picked up the story, many of them leaning to the political right and each spreading the rumor further afield.

The fake story claimed the incident exemplifies the ongoing “war on Christmas,” a debate that some cable networks and talk show hosts say has taken root in such liberal bastions as San Francisco.

Here, for your amusement, are some of the responses to the National Report story:

Whoever perpetrated the hoax also set up a Google+ page under the name of the putative teacher, and filled it with outrageous, hateful little snippets such as

I wish I could piss on all my students that believe in Jesus.

For the record, there is no Argon (or Anon) Elementary School in San Francisco. There is an Argonne Elementary, however. You can guess the rest.

The nasty calls and e-mails started to hit the real Argonne elementary on Thursday and have continued this week, district officials said. “You don’t expect to have to deal with this at this time of year,” [district Assistant Superintendent Leticia] Salinas said. “What was mostly upsetting was some of the references of what people should do to the teacher.”

The Argonne school secretary spent hours answering the phone, explaining to irate callers that the story wasn’t true. Most were surprised and simply hung up.

The district assigned an extra security officer to the school, and police have increased their patrols of the campus.

(Image via Shutterstock)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • unbound55

    But, but, but…it was on the internet. And they don’t allow things that aren’t true on the internet…

    I understand that there are stupid people in this world, and I understand that there are those who rush to judgement because they are easily offended. What scares me is the sheer volume of those groups.

  • sam

    “The district assigned an extra security officer to the school, and police have increased their patrols of the campus.”

    And again, this protection is against those who wish to spread holiday cheer, peace on Earth, and goodwill towards Man? Are these the people waging a war on or for Xmas?

    I knew this story was fake, because if the teacher were a real atheist, she would have eaten the child. Nothing like a holiday child for a nice xmas feast.

  • $925105

    Looks like Kevin Sorbo might have another acting job coming up as he plays the cruel Atheist teacher who persecutes children over saying Christmas during the holidays.

  • Rob P

    the web site Literally Unbelievable needs to branch out from from just he Onion stories that people believe are true.

  • 7Footpiper

    God, save me from your followers! The War on Christmas™ is a completely fictitious thing fabricated by the religious in search of an issue to keep them in the news. Most atheists don’t really care until the church/state line is crossed but the godbots still don’t understand that so of course they’ll fly off the handle when they read something like this. I honestly couldn’t give a toss if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I do celebrate Christmas though I have no need for the myth that comes packaged with it but I’d never be offended.

  • cary_w

    This would all be hilariously funny, except for this:

    “The district assigned an extra security officer to the school, and police have increased their patrols of the campus.”

    The threats created by these people are all too real. This is why we need to fight ignorance and celebrate the decline of religion in this country. People who send death threats to people who don’t believe their silly superstitions cannot be tolerated. What I find really appalling is that so many Christians claim their religion is all about love. I’m just not feeling the love from these people.

  • dats3

    Your not feeling the love because Jesus isn’t in your heart. If he were you’d feel it. You’d have a ton of guns too. You’d probably want to take some to the school and administer some Christian love. Ahh the holidays. Don’t you just love Christmas?

  • Aeryn


  • KMR

    God almighty. I’m about as far from an anti-theist as you can get but this makes me angry. That poor school. Why, why, why are there so many knee jerk crazy dumbasses in the world? And what is it about religion that makes them this way?

    I know the answer btw. Just venting and being grumpy.

  • DaveDodo007

    You bunch of meanies picking on the poor Christians. 🙂

  • GubbaBumpkin

    This one is real:

    Salvation Army Bell Ringer Assaulted for Saying ‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘Merry Christmas’

  • Jeff

    Yeah, but you know how easy it is to sneak on those extra 5 pounds during the holidays.

  • Art_Vandelay

    I’d give anything to have that school forward those calls to my cell phone.

  • David McNerney

    That’s because you’re eating store-bought children.

    You need to get some exercise by going out in the wilderness and get yourself a free-range child.

  • Keyra

    Not denying this story was fabricated by fundies, but whenever New Atheists make shit up about Christians (no matter how stupid it sounds), it’s always “the truth”. I guess “truth” goes to whoever’s the louder

  • T-Paine

    Satire site creates story. Rightwinger sites cynically spread the story knowing that their audiences are gullible/stupid enough to believe it without checking. The rest is history.

  • RowanVT

    Oh, hey there Keyra! Did you see the two recent posts about Islam?

    Also, please link to stuff that has posted here that was “made up” and not later retracted when it was found to be false.

  • Keyra

    I didn’t say on here (but alot is exaggerated). And no, I see no updates on Islam lol. What were they about?

  • The War on Christmas meme must not be going too well if you have to resort to making shit up.

    Just about everything associated with Christmas is made up, whether you observe the religious traditions or the secular ones. “Making shit up” is intrinsic to Christmas and to Christianity, so we shouldn’t be surprised!

  • OhioAtheist


    If you “just” read about this (fake) story, how could it be a reason you left California if you’re already gone?

    And stop shouting! Does that make your point any more valid?

  • islandbrewer

    The rest is history. a business plan!


  • RowanVT

    Remember that discussion we had about confirmation bias and how your brain would cause your eyes to skip over them? They were posted just yesterday……

    And is a lot exaggerated here? Care to post examples……

  • islandbrewer

    That’s actually a reasonable statement. I applaud you.

    What have you done with Keyra?

  • RowanVT

    I’m assuming is a Disqus error. Sometimes it posts things under other usenames.

  • RowanVT

    Nooooo…. ;_; That makes me so sad because I love/d H:TLJ…..

  • Keyra, we GAVE you URLs. So it would seem that when you are corrected you just ignore it. Wait, isn’t that what you’re accusing?

  • islandbrewer

    Gah! Keyra has changed into C Peterson!

    Curse you Disqus! *shakes fist*

  • Keyra

    Would you deny that Leftwinger sites do the same? To those with enough gullibility/hate to believe it?

  • Richard Thomas


  • RowanVT

    Links! Make sure you find ones without later retractions!

    Or are you going to continue to assert without evidence… sort of like how theists assert that God exists?

  • RowanVT

    I knew it was too reasonable to be Keyra.

  • T-Paine

    Sort of like a business plan of the NRA: Start a rumor that Obama is going to take away all your guns, so buy as many as you can. Gullible/stupid people believe it and go out and buy more guns. NRA profits soar!

  • $84687101

    Ah, Christian love.

  • Spuddie

    Come on. He needs the work! He never got the second wind Lucy Lawless got on BSG and Spartacus.

  • RowanVT

    I guess I should just be happy it wasn’t Michael Hurst, because Iolaus was my favorite character on the show.

  • T-Paine

    What I don’t deny is that you’re nothing but a troll and are not to be taken seriously.

  • GubbaBumpkin

    And you wonder why you get accused of lying.

  • Spuddie

    Because it doesn’t happen.

    99% of the times the fake stories are written for humor sites. right wingers lacking a sense of humor can’t tell the difference between hyperbole for humorous effect and a serious discussion.

    Do you understand Steven Colbert is ironic and The Onion is a humor site?

  • GubbaBumpkin

    Would you deny that Leftwinger sites do the same?

    It asserts without evidence – in a thread in which it accuses others of making stuff up.

    Irony, Irony, wherefore art thou, Irony?

  • $84687101

    I would never argue that no one on the left, nor any atheists, ever makes mistakes. I would not even argue that all of us are always completely honest.

    What I would argue is that American conservative media habitually lie and promote false stories without doing anything like adequate fact checking or significant retractions after the fact, including major outlets like Fox or major online outlets like the Blaze, in a way that is just not remotely comparable to anything you’ll find from atheists or the left.

    I’d also argue that anytime you find a poorly checked out story on an atheist blog, you’re likely to find atheists in the comments suggesting that we ought to suspend judgment and that we don’t have enough corroborated facts to accept the story even if it plays to our biases. See how often you find that from the conservative commentariat. We may fail, but you’ll almost always find that at least some of us apply skeptical methods even to stories that we want or expect to be true.

  • Spuddie

    Yet you lack any example of atheists doing so.

    When have you stopped lying?

  • katiehippie

    Colbert is fantastic.

  • Areid

    Love your username!

  • Keyra

    Colbert is boss lol

  • Keyra

    New Atheists accuse alot of Christians of “lying” for not agreeing with their opinions

  • Keyra

    Well yeah, but like you said, everyone has confirmation bias. As for an example, making a bigger deal out of our faults than what it really is

  • Keyra

    That makes sense

  • Keyra

    If you wanna think that, go ahead. Not that I’d take someone seriously who thinks faith is “glorified delusion”. But ok

  • Keyra

    “Reasonable”? Yeah ok

  • baal

    You have missed the posts where the blog hosts retract hoaxes? I’m thinking of the glass eye story. I’ve yet to see christians admit to falling for a hoax an then working to clear up the error.

  • Keyra

    How is assuming that everything about Christmas is “made up”? Saying that he “believes” everything about Christmas is made up, would be more reasonable.

  • Keyra

    Well have you tried non-atheist sites?

  • MandoZink

    This is also explained by Poe’s Law, which can be found in Wikipedia:
    “Without a blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of extremism or fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing”

    Or as Poe originally stated:
    “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won’t mistake for the genuine article.”

    Even when you parody an Atheist, the fundamentalists don’t get it.

  • Nathan Fields

    Aaarrr I’m a Christian. Don’t tread on my Christmas! I’m going to that school and giving them a peace of my mind!

  • wesvvv

    It’s almost like some lifelong practice has raised these people’s gullibility. But, I can’t imagine what that might be . . .

  • Nathan Fields

    Real, nice, friendly Christians… forcing the school to hire security and turn off their phones. Merry Christmas!

  • Several years ago I witnessed the following: Someone wished another person “Merry Christmas” and quickly remembered that the person was Jewish. The Jewish person responded that he was not offended, that he had read about Jesus and had no problem with Jesus but wished more Christians actually followed his teachings. OH SNAP. He got applause. No one is offended by being told “happy” or “merry” anything. It’s a lie that the right-wing media is feeding people and they are buying it because they have a built-in martyr complex and get off on feeling persecuted for their beliefs. The bigger a hypocrite said person is about living according to those beliefs, the louder the faux outrage.

  • Mikey Nails!

    Best. Comment. Ever.

  • Speedwell


    Co-worker: “Merry Christmas!” Me: “Merry Christmas!” Co-worker, after double-take: “What? I thought you were an atheist. You don’t celebrate Christmas, do you?” Me: “Sure, why shouldn’t I?” Co-worker: “Because it’s religious.” Me: “Not so much.” Co-worker, doggedly: “Why did you say Merry Christmas back to me?” Me: “Because I’m polite.” Co-worker: “…”

    I may be the only fully out US atheist at my company, if the feedback I get from my co-workers is any indication. Some of them e-mail me because they are atheists and don’t know any other person who would understand their frustration. I can get away with it because I’m a nonthreatening middle-aged woman trainer with a reputation for being helpful and nice. (No, really. Heh)

  • Please give some examples. I don’t have to make up anything about Christians. I am surrounded by them and get their stupid Facebook statuses and forwarded emails (that they keep sending no matter how many times I sent them to snopes.com). Why would I make anything up when there is a mountain of evidence of their stupidity and gullibility around me?

  • Sadly, there was a period of time when people were linking to stories on the dailycurrant website thinking they were real and not parody. For those unfamiliar the Daily Currant is like the Onion only not funny. That seems to have diminished. The problem is that it’s impossible to make up crazy shit and attribute it to Michelle Bachmann that’s any crazier than the things she actual said. (In which case, why bother with the parody?) So that sort of thing does happen on the left as well as the right. The difference is that my liberal friends will correct their mistake. My right wing relatives will send me the same forwarded email six months later. That’s the difference.

  • Give an example.

  • That rumor made a lot of money for people who sell guns. Hmmm.

  • Did you miss the point where you opened with “whenever New Atheists make shit up”? What are we talking about, atheists or ‘lefties’?

  • That’s an opinion. People are entitled to hold opinions. Should I like to what Christians say about atheists? Is that less offensive?

  • Changing the subject: The favorite game of right-wingers caught in a lie.

  • Yes, I believe you. And this is why being out makes an impact. You aren’t evil or mean or hateful. You fly in the face of all the stereotypes their priest or pastor feeds them about atheism and atheists.

    I love Christmas. I love singing Christmas carols (both secular and sacred), lights, and hot apple cider. I have every right to celebrate whatever I want just like everyone else.

  • baal

    Christians are accused of “lying” for having a very limited willingness to keep themselves tied to facts or usual logic. It comes across as a general disdain for what’s real and what’s not real. That often looks like lying.

  • Spuddie

    No examples to show from such sites? Not only do you see Christians not retracting hoaxes, you see them repeating them constantly. You see them using the same dishonest screeds over and over again despite being constantly proven otherwise.

  • Guest

    Yeah, this is how stupid conservative christians can be. Instead of doing 5 seconds of basic fact checking (a simple Google search locates the debunking by #snopes linked below), they just hear some rumor, instantly share it (without confirming its validity), and are outraged. OUTRAGED I tell you! http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/suspended.asp

    One of the saddest things is that someone set up a sock puppet G+ account in the teacher’s name (Paul Horner) to help seed this vicious rumor, and is located at:

    The worst part is that threats that come into the school because of this. “Good conservative christians” can say some pretty wicked, vile, and evil (not the metaphysical sense) things when they’re angry.

  • Spuddie

    Especially when such opinions are based on false facts. Most of the times the accusations prove to be true.

  • Yeah, this is how stupid some gullible conservative christians can be. Instead of doing 5 seconds of basic fact checking (a simple Google search locates the debunking by #snopes), they just hear some rumor, instantly share it (without confirming its validity), and are outraged. OUTRAGED I tell you!

    The worst part is that threats that come into the school because of this. “Good conservative christians” can say some pretty wicked, vile, and evil (not the metaphysical sense) things when they’re angry.

  • Pofarmer

    I love Christmas Carols and other Christmas songs, as well. We always celebrated Christmas more as a secular Holiday than as a religious one, it was day for our Family. There are some that celebrate it as a strictly religious holiday, and I think that the mindset takes away much more than it adds.

  • islandbrewer

    Oh, it’s long been quite obvious that the NRA is not concerned with citizen’s “rights” anywhere near as much as gun manufacturer’s profits.

    Eg, gun quality laws, which mandate minimal standards for gun manufacture (e.g., not blowing up in your hand, safety working, etc.) would benefit gun owners, but are routinely opposed by the NRA… because gun owners have a “right” to shitty guns that blow up in their hand.

  • baal

    Your faults and sins are pervasive, however. It gets very wearying. It’s not like we can all become hermits and all live in all the basements.

  • Dave

    Love it – at the bottom of the article “US Army labels evangelical Christians as Domestic Hate Group”.
    But how could they do that, they’re CHRISTIANS! I can just hear it.

  • I went & took a look at the comments to the original story & wonder if i really want everyone to wake up & become Atheist as i would no longer have these hilarious comments to read every time a “story” like this shows up. It would be such a loss to comedy.

  • LesterBallard

    These fucking people need some real persecution.

  • “Free-range”, is that the same as “Homeschooled”?

  • Nothing keeps the “Faith-heads” happy like a good WAR!

  • elfinito

    Please provide examples…you keep saying Atheists and Lefties do this, so show the examples.

    Show me a Satire piece that the Left/Atheist, Media/Blogo-sphere, picked up on as fact to be outraged about and it went Viral among the left?

    There are a few with some Crazy Michelle Bachman parodies..but at least if people on the left “fall” for it…are like. oh, my bad, once it pointed to them.

    When I used to actually post when Christian and Tea-Party people would post this kind of stupid shit on Facebook, and give them a Snopes Link, I would be told that Snopes and other “fact checking” sites are unreliable and part of the liberal media.

    And none of theme reach the level of these made up anti-Christian memes.

  • Jim Jones

    My working hypothesis is that 98% of people are as dumb as a sack of rocks. I’ve yet to be proven wrong.

  • baal

    It bothers me that so many (nearly all) of your posts are violent. I don’t have enough down votes.

  • islandbrewer

    That has to be a lie. All of us atheists are mean and grumpy, hate everyone and everything (except for sin, of course), and want everyone else to be miserable because we have Jesus shaped holes in our hearts (although that’s surgically correctable).

  • Tom Zarek

    Real? Pin a Christian down and they will tell you basically that “real Christians love” but “real Muslims hate”. Funny that way isn’t it?

  • LesterBallard

    Thank you.

  • RowanVT

    Well, initially you were saying that you did NOT have a confirmation bias that was making you not see articles about Islam. I’m helping to remind you of that.

    I do see that you are still failing to post examples.

  • RowanVT

    Most of the traditions celebrated at Christmas were taken wholesale from pagan holidays. Biblical scholars are near unanimous that Jesus (if he existed) was born sometime during the summer and definitely not at the end of December.

    So it being the day of Jesus’ birth is made up. The starting point for the christian winter solstice holiday is made up.

  • dats3

    I believe it is obvious that Keyra isn’t going to give an example. I’m sure there is one somewhere. I’ve been searching for the last few minutes searching for left falling for hoaxes compared to the right. Results:

    I googled: “right-wing media falls for hoax”

    and a lot more.

    I couldn’t find any from a news organization. That’s not to say I looked hard. I just googled “left-wing media falls for hoax”.
    What’s interesting is the right seems to fall for hoaxes a lot.

    I digress

  • dats3

    If you go around giving everyone a piece of your mind you’ll eventually find that you have no mind left.

  • Nathan Fields
  • Black Leaf

    The Christian homeschooled ones are the best, they don’t do too much thinking so they’re still nice and tender.

  • Black Leaf

    I can only assume this is how they think of themselves.

  • RowanVT

    Yes, reasonable. Reasonable to admit that Christmas is a Frankenstein’s Monster of other holidays with no basis for the chosen date existing in the bible and the bible itself contradicting the chosen date.

  • Pretty damned sad to see such ugliness.

  • Spuddie

    Probably not feral ones. If Tarzan and The Jungle Book are to be believed, those kids are super strong and skilled at calling down animals to protect them.

  • Jim Jones

    They also opposed putting taggants in gunpowder to trace terrorists/bombers … because Jesus? Freedom Fries? ??

  • maria

    Christians not real interested in “proof”..

  • jerome h.

    Let the religious ritual of human sacrifice begin!

  • mcmc16

    I don’t get it, how is this funny?

  • Aeryn

    It’s a parody of stories like this: http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp that circulate in the emails of crazy religious types.

  • Ritz

    Dammit, now you’ve given us the burden of proof!

  • Ryan

    Yeah, and feral children are too gamey and tough.

  • SluttyMary

    I like to put them in my cauldron when I’m making baby brew. Served over a bed of rice with brocolli…. and baklava for dessert!

  • dimensio

    For fair consideration, those who believed the story to be real have stated that the story is quite believable due to the numerous reports of similar incidents that really did occur and that were not hoaxes.

    Or, at least, they assumed those other reports to be of incidents that really did occur and that were not hoaxes.

  • Bob Peters

    The Snopes article disputing the original article didn’t come out until Dec 17, after it had gone viral.

    I personally challenged the article on one Christian site with sufficient information (prior to the Snopes article) to convince them it was fake and to take it down.

  • gimpi1

    I have made a point to teach basic fact-checking to several friends. I’m surprised at how few people know how to check a source.

  • BradRampersad

    Rebecca Chase is a moron. Not being punsished for being an Atheist? Seriously?

  • So, apart from a well-done hoax, this story highlights the traditional Christian doctrine of turn-the-other-cheek, which you can see on full display here.

  • +1 for Jungle Book.

  • Stan

    Interestingly enough, I actually attended Argonne Elementary when I resided in San Francisco as a boy.

  • Anymouse

    I don’t usually stoop to this level of conversation, and won’t honor it with any followup response, but Bruce Campbell rules. This is just an obvious fact, not my opinion.


  • Anymouse

    I agree. There’s nothing glorified about such a common delusion.

  • Jesus is arguably made up; certainly most of the stories around his life are fabricated, even if there was a historical Jesus. And the Jesus stories are derived from earlier made-up religions. Santa is based on a real person, but again, all the stories around him are made up. Nearly all the celebrated traditions come from made up spiritual beliefs based around one thing- the only absolutely real element of the season- the solstice.

  • baal

    We’ve seen a number of cases of faked abuse of christians at the hands of atheists (like kevin sorbo). I still think it’s giving them too much credit to say that context of ‘atheist bad acts’ makes this misunderstanding reasonable.

  • Anymouse

    Merry Christmas!

  • LesterBallard

    I give you infinity down votes. Vote away.

  • Randy Bobandy

    A mans gotta eat.

  • jutholmes

    There is no “war on christmas.” This is just a thing made up by Fox News to make sure their idiot followers have another reason to hate “liberals”.

  • OhioAtheist

    I take exception to the phrase “war. ” It trivializes what real war is. Complaining of Fox News or the Internet isn’t a war. Mass killing with guns, bombs, and missiles. THAT is war.

  • WTF2013LOL

    Why expect anything different out of rabid ignorant Christians?

  • To be fair, there are liberals who buy into anti-vaccine hysteria, 9/11 conspiracy theories and other nuttery. The difference is that we don’t have major Democratic leaders pandering to that crowd. Compare that to how Republican candidates for president pander to birthers and other nuts. Obviously there are nuts and idiots across the political spectrum. But finding a few on one side does not excuse that the nuts are in charge on the other.

  • Carlos DeVillalvilla

    Any Christian who wants to put the beat down on someone else because of their beliefs really needs to read the book over again because they clearly didn’t get the message the first time.

  • AmusedAgain

    Internet research shows that Low Information Voters are also Low on Information on How To Turn Off CAPS LOCK. Google it.

  • AmusedAgain

    Their parents lied to them about Santa Claus and his NSA-like monitoring of their activity 24-7. Is it any wonder that they’re paranoid as adults?

  • AmusedAgain

    I just don’t get what these people have against New Year’s, and why they’re waging a war against it…

  • allein

    Soooo…was she just saying it to goad you into an argument? How merry.

  • Frank Herner

    This just sickens me more and more….

  • baal

    And jesus and god…and probably all the saints. It’s a regular football stadium filled with bored pervs in heaven watching you poop.

  • Had this been in The Onion, there would likely have been some bizarre statement in the article that should have clued in most readers to the fact that the article was satire. (Though many people would still miss the clue.) The National Report wrote this article in a completely serious fashion, without any clues that it was satire (other than that the whole scenario is extremely unlikely). A person who went directly to the article, rather than to the front page of the website, would be very likely to believe it was a real news story, especially if they were predisposed to believe that there was a war on Christmas.

    Not that they should be forgiven for not doing a bit of investigation, but there’s really no humor in the article, just a dry telling of a fictional story.

  • Iramohs

    I’ve seen a sacks of rocks outsmart many men so it’s gotta be more like 99%.

  • Zomgtforly .

    Even a lie can bring out the worst in people.

  • Paul Horner
  • baal

    Did the peeing on students thing relate to your real life in some way?

  • Jeff

    Are you kidding? Do you know how hard it is to find one of those? Last year, I had to order in advance for a free-range. Admittedly, it was extra lean.

  • Ryan

    Oh FFS both sides need to grow the fuck up. Atheists who the fuck cares if they wish you a merry Christmas, it’s their right to do so without ridicule and you right wing Christian nuts need to seriously just fucking grow up

  • bca922

    I’ve dealt with the National Report before, I went on there for some ludicrous claim about Obama being the devil or whatever, I commented saying that he was the devil, put in my user name which is the same here, and hit enter, it said “will be checked by moderator” the next morning I came back it was 100% changed to saying some shit about how evil Obama is and all this crap, Moral of the story, the National Report is a Satire site, thats there to fuck with people.

  • aintnorest

    Hell yeah buddy you give those people who don’t exist hell over something that never happened because this is a fake story and the article clearly says so several times!

    Don’t hold anything back! Your common sense folksy wisdom is an inspiration to us all

  • Leila

    Funniest. Comment. Thread. EVER!

  • ChrisX

    I always thought the opposite. I was Home schooled for probably half my schooling life and from that perspective it always seemed like the teachers were always close minded in the schools. I did grow up in a christian home but I was taught to be my own person. My mother was a teacher for a long time until she quit that & taught us. Part of her reasoning was that the schools were very limited on what she could teach. I did not learn to think on my own from outside teachers at schools. It was all from my mother. She also taught me & my sister all about Creationism & Evolution. No closed mindedness there at all. Now my sister & I are both very outgoing individuals and though we made mistakes we have both been quite successful.

    I am not saying you are completely wrong, just from my experience it seems to go both ways. I have heard a few stories though in which you are correct. I personally think education these days is lacking within the normal school system. When I was Home schooled the courses were much harder than when I attended a normal school. I always got A’s at normal schools.

    Anyway, just food for thought. There are issues in every aspect of education for the young mind. Not just Christian Home schoolers alone.

  • C. Sense

    Teachers don’t suspend students, the administration does. People are fucking stupid.

  • Vance Decker

    That doesn’t sound very Christian.

  • Black Leaf

    Oh, I don’t doubt that there are Christian parents that are capable of homeschooling, I suppose my joke was a little broad. I was referring to the ones that do it because they think public school is an evil anti-religious institution and just use homeschooling as a chance to indoctrinate.

  • articulett

    What exactly did your mom teach you about “Creationism & Evolution”?

  • Jim Jones

    “Christianity: 2,000 years of everyone making it up as they go”.

  • SonOfTheNorthe

    You’re grounded.

  • Randay

    Has Joe Klein written anything about this story, that is if he didn’t write it?

  • JohnnieCanuck

    I wouldn’t go so far as to call religious faith ‘glorified delusion’, buy that’s just me. As delusions go, it’s a pretty sad one actually.

  • Paul Horner

    ha no. It was just supposed to be as ridiculous as possible. Just trying to be the WORST teacher in the history of teachers

  • Nelson

    Funny stuff.

    I’m not surprised that christians took this story on faith as truth.

  • Gerry Mooney

    When I was in Catholic elementary school, one of the nuns was so mean, the rumor went around that she was marketing “Sister Floracita’s Chopped Children”.

  • Joshua Pierce

    Well they believe other fiction they read is true so what makes anyone think they would understand satire?

  • A Bit of Thought

    Considering the current craze of political correctness, the story of the child being suspended for wishing others a Merry Christmas is quite believable.

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