Next Year, the Creation Museum Will Indoctrinate Children for Free December 16, 2013

Next Year, the Creation Museum Will Indoctrinate Children for Free

I’ll admit it: It’s a savvy move on their part.

The Creation Museum will allow all children 12 and under (with a paying adult) to unlearn everything they learned in science class:

Because evolutionists are indoctrinating kids in the pagan religion of evolution — we want to do what we can to get as many kids to the Creation Museum to learn the truth concerning God’s Word in Genesis and the gospel.

I have included the logo we are using for the ‘Kids Free in 2014’ outreach. Because kids love dinosaurs, and dinosaurs are basically used as an icon for evolution, we are using a dinosaur to tell kids they can come to the Creation Museum free in 2014.

Three thoughts about that:

  1. I had no idea “Pagan religion” was synonymous with “evidence-based”… but at least he flat-out admits he wants to manipulate kids before they learn to distinguish real science from whatever it is that Ham preaches.
  2. “Indoctrinate” means teaching someone to accept doctrines uncritically. That’s the opposite of how evolution needs to be taught. Criticize it all you want, but the facts and fossils and DNA all point in one direction, away from Creationism.
  3. Free is still too damn expensive. Ken Ham ought to be paying his customers for the privilege of getting to stunt their developing minds.

That said, last year, the Creation Museum made $225,000 off of kids 6-12. That’s nearly a quarter-million dollars they won’t be getting this year to update their brainwashing machine.

It’s a win-win for all sides.

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  • SeekerLancer

    And hopefully in 2015 the Creation Museum will be having a going out of business sale.

  • kanehau

    Going extinct sale

  • Greg G.

    Can I get in for half price if I promise to keep one eye closed?

  • Timmah

    It’s funny how they say “pagan religion” like its something so awful. Meanwhile from their website it appears that the grounds are covered holiday lights. Because you know the bible says to wrap trees up in lights.

  • WallofSleep

    “That said, last year, the Creation Museum made $225,000
    off of kids 6-12. That’s nearly a quarter-million dollars they won’t be
    getting this year to update their brainwashing machine.”

    Attendance (and revenue) for the Creation farce has been drastically waning since their opening year. It’s a relatively safe bet to say that they stood to lose at least that much or more attendance revenue going forward.

    I’ll wager they think this promotion might improve overall ticket sales, or at the very least increase their attendance numbers for a bit of christian street cred.

  • Brian

    I wonder how much they made from Atheists going ironically?

  • L.Long

    If for some reason I was in the area, I would take my G’kids there. And in a stage whisper loud enough to be heard and explain to my kids what is so awfully wrong. And when the SS can to try to kick me out I would make a calm refusal and force them into a display. And while commenting to my kids as to what they were doing, I would leave.

  • sam

    Does the price of admission include your god striking my child with lightening on the zip line ride, or do I have to pay extra for that?

  • CanuckAmuck

    If I recall correctly, the “museum” added a zip line in an attempt to increase revenue (they say it’s for educational reasons). Purely by what I’m sure was a coincidence, it got hit by lightning.

  • paulalovescats

    What I was thinking! hahahaha

  • paulalovescats

    They’d rather you pay the full price and go in with half a brain. Or none.

  • WallofSleep

    If god wanted us to zip-line, he would have given us… um… eh, Bruce Wayne’s parents?

  • Greg G.

    Not next year, but in 2015 they will be selling indulgences for such dispensations.

  • Art_Vandelay

    Yes, because the Pagans had such an acute understanding of evolution.

  • GubbaBumpkin

    I was just thinking about something similar, but I wouldn’t take someone who wasn’t educated enough to understand the errors when they were pointed out.

  • Greg G.

    Why is it that when hurricanes hit the most religious areas of the US or flood the churchiest parts of the Big Easy, it’s because the rest of us aren’t religious enough but when lightning strikes the Creation Museum and Touchdown Jesus or an earthquake occurs under Pat Robertson’s house, we don’t hear such sermons?

  • Jachra

    Loki brought fossils to Odin’s attention, but was struck down for his impertinence and thusly swore vengeance against all the Aesir.

  • Only if he/she actively believes the Creation Museum bullshit.

  • James

    I somehow doubt the word “update” would be appropriate in the final paragraph…seems a better term to employ would be “re-package”, maybe? “Update” seems more pertinent to science than to creationism.

  • tsig

    opening up a theme park seems a sure road to bankruptcy. The Dino park in Florida got it’s proprietor thrown in jail, the Heritage park was the death of the Baker ministry and it looks like the Ark park will sink Ham.

  • $84687101

    I expect that this means that all their slick advertising isn’t driving enough people in the doors to keep them open so they needed something to try to get people in.

    To anyone who needs something to do with their kids in the area, we have a great zoo and a number of museums under one roof at the Cincinnati Museum Center. There’s also a an aquarium that troubles me quite a bit for reasons I won’t go into, but it’s still better than the creation museum. If you live in the area, memberships to all these institutions are a great value if you need entertainment and education for your kids.

    If you’re really pressed for cash, the Cincinnati Art Museum is free for everyone, all the time.

    So go to a real museum, not to the Creation “Museum”, whatever your budget.

    Or just go to IKEA and let the kids play in the child care area while you take a nap on one of the display couches. Still better for all of you than the Creation “Museum” and totally free!

  • Mark W.

    And there’s the tragedy.

  • $84687101

    Probably true. The theme park business is really hard to compete in, even if you don’t have a religious theme holding you back. It’s not an easy thing to break into. The list of defunct theme parks in Florida alone is long.

  • $84687101

    I am so going to that auction. I hate to enrich Ham, but I figure most of it would go to creditors, and I want that triceratops.

  • WallofSleep

    Nah. That just makes their inevitable bankruptcy all the more hilarious.

  • WallofSleep

    Coolest. Dino. Ever. Even t-rex has to respect.

  • tsig

    No matter how devout you are dragging your kids hundreds of miles to see the same threadbare exhibits has got to wear on you.

    (I wanna see a real park this year)
    (not the CM again)

  • Malcolm McLean

    It’s kind of a non-story. Most attractions operate differential pricing for children and adults. They’ve moved from “kids pay less” to “one kid free with an adult ticket”. That’s a perfectly normal commercial decision, which wouldn’t cause anyone to pass comment if it were made by a butterfly house or a rollercoaster park.

    Creation museums are pernicious, I agree. But banning them would be worse.

  • Rain

    I have included the logo we are using for the ‘Kids Free in 2014′

    If they really mean all the “concern hype” about the concern for kids, then it should be “Kids Free forever”. Or just cut the baloney and admit it’s a marketing test.

  • ganner918

    Where does the reference to banning them come from? Has anyone, anywhere, discussed it or are you just going on an unrelated tangent?

  • Rain

    True but the insidious part about it is how they say it is due to concern for the kids. Really it’s a marketing move by hired professional marketers probably. Although I suppose there is nothing new about blatant marketing lies either. But they are supposed to be above all that. Nothing new about anyone not actually being above what they are supposed to be above either, lol. “Nothing new under the sun” as they say.

  • It’s also an opportunity to anti-indoctrinate kids for free. “Come kids! Want to go laugh at the creationists?!”

  • Be careful with that. Creationists take themselves so very seriously that they might have the power to call down bears. We wouldn’t want our kids ripped to shreds by bears.

  • LeftyFPB

    It is cool that the Creation Museum is using Devil Dinosaur in their ads… as long as Moon-Boy makes an appearance as well.

  • Greg G.

    I have half a mind to do that.

  • sam

    Then again, picking your nose is more educational (and cheaper) than the Creation “Museum” (Hey, I just found something that looks like Ken Ham!). I’d rather take up a nice hobby, like cutting or intravenous drug use. Far less damaging to the old noggin.

  • Greg G.

    Butterfly houses and rollercoasters are not set up to delude children. Who said creation museums should be banned? They should not get huge tax breaks. They should be ridiculed unmercifully.

  • LesterBallard

    “That said, last year, the Creation Museum made $225,000 off of kids 6-12. That’s nearly a quarter-million dollars they won’t be getting this year to update their brainwashing machine.”

    I’m guessing they’ll raise the adult price to compensate.

  • Terry Firma

    I gotta say, if I’m ever in the area, I’ll go.

  • But, honestly, how much of a problem is this? After all, how many atheists could be going there ironically? If I ever went, it’d be out of curiosity(which killed the cat, but we have an agreement), not some sense of irony.

  • skyblue

    I remember, around the time the Creation museum opened, a youtube video shot by a local nearby the “museum”. I think it’s this one: here

    He talks about the rock layers in the area and shows how many fossils can be found just by walking around and picking them up – this is the land the creationist “museum” is built on. So it seems like you can learn more just wandering around outside this “museum” than going inside.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    All hail the pagan god only known to true believers as the fearsome beaker!!!!

  • Greg Peterson

    Maybe a pedantic point in the scheme of things, but I question whether dinosaurs are much of an EVOLUTION “icon.” I guess dinosaurs helped us learn about deep time and extinction, and the evolution of birds is sort of paradigmatic and involves dinos, but when I think about models for evolution, dinosaurs are way down the list, after tiktaalik and the whale sequence and hominids and Lanski’s e. colis and peppered moths and stuff. Dinos, not as much. I mean, everything is evidence for evolution, obviously, but there’s nothing especially iconic about dinos that I’m aware of. Geez, I hope it’s not just that Ham is full of marketing BS.
    I saw that he appeared on Fox TV and was talking about the atheist war on Christmas and how creationism helps battle back against that, and I thought he was the perfect frontman with his jolly little beard and his total willingness to lie to children about supernatural stories with natural explanations. Ho ho meretricious ho.

  • busterggi

    Why didn’t Hydra think of that?

  • Angus Cairnie

    Actually, many of us do.

  • busterggi

    Odin prefers organisms frozen in permafrost.

  • busterggi

    Marvel really ought to sue. Or at least have Thor threaten the museum with rain.

  • busterggi

    I guessing you don’t have teenagers.

  • I desperately want the Wrecking ball that says “Millions of Year” that is supposedly destroying the foundation of a church. I’ve heard that it is made out of 100% irony.

  • busterggi

    You’re thinking of the Flying Graysons.

  • imjustasteph

    I wish desperately that I could afford to get my kids there. I want so badly to walk through the place with them, keeping my mouth shut and just filming what they say. I’m pretty sure I’d come away with the kind of video that would make an atheist (or most any non-fundie) mom tear up with pride.

  • Pitabred

    They only do that if they’re bald

  • For certainly values of “bold bald”, this is true. However, how can one know if a Creationist is bald or not? It’s not always obvious. Does it have to be empirically bald, or is being “bald in my heart” enough?

    Dec 17: Correction made, above.

  • No. 🙂

  • GubbaBumpkin

    but there’s nothing especially iconic about dinos that I’m aware of.

    Is there a Tiktaalik aisle in Toys-R-Us?

  • Aerial View

    When we crossed the river into Kentucky we had to set our watches back 154 years. The dinosaurs aren’t limited to the displays.

  • Gehennah

    If I hit the lotto (so don’t hold your breath) I’ll send you a message and I’ll send you all expenses paid just for that experience, as long as you do post it you YouTube.

  • imjustasteph

    I’m really crossing my fingers to make it possible in another year or two, and if I do, and if it’s as awesome as I hope and expect, it will absolutely be internetted.

  • Pitabred
  • Person

    Hey, the Creation Museum can be a great learning experience! My father took me to the Creation Museum when I was a teenager. We went through all of it, thoroughly examined all the exhibits, then spent the car ride back talking about mental mindsets, people’s need to convince others of their beliefs and why people cling to antiquated sets of beliefs. It was a good day.

  • Ann Onymous

    10:2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

    10:3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

    10:4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

  • wylekat


  • wylekat

    I have read they do have armed guards, and ‘i will behave’ type papers they make you sign. I think the guards have tasers…

  • Justatron

    You could dig a hole in the yard and sit in the hole in the yard with your eyes closed and a tarp over your head and still have a more educational experience than wandering through the “Creation” “Museum”…

  • Yes, I know.

  • Dan Robinson

    I couldn’t stand it. I would be a raging furnace of frustration after 5 minutes. But I am glad that brave rational people have gone there to report on the dark side.

  • Dan Robinson

    I can only hope that this is a desperate move to generate traffic in a failing enterprise.

  • labman57

    The Creation Museum’s “Discovering the Truth about Humans, Dinosaurs, and Evolution” presentation includes a showing of two episodes of The Flintstones.

    They would have shown “One Million Years, B.C.”, however the title contradicts the established notion that the earth is less than 10,000 years old.

  • Janne Andersson

    Lightingstorm, museum gone.

  • George P

    If the museum offered free admission on the science of food fighting would that cause a child to unlearn table manners they learned at home or in school? I don’t think so, they’d just be a better food fighter, a skill they may never have to use. Teach creationism if you want, as long as the child is taught evolution too, they will know more about how people look at the world and be more knowledgeable. I think they’ll be more disturbed when they lean the scientific fact that Santa isn’t real.

  • Will S

    The yule tree is a pagan tradition, tho I dont recall which one it can from at the moment. Gift giving has pagan roots as well, but the church could not wipe it out, so it was adapted. Yule, on the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, was celebrated as the rebirth of the light, bc it reminded us of the seasonal change, and tho it was dark and cold, the light and warmth would return. The claim of the birth of Jesus at or near yule was to walk on, and take over pagan holidays. If I recall the reading a while back, the closest date to the actual birth of a child who they called a savior was in September. ironicly, the harvest time. as the world northern hemisphere begins to sleep for the winter.

  • Jerome K

    I think it would be far more interesting to have a museum about the Creation of the bible, then we would be able to see how Man has written the various ancient documents, has translated and rewritten them, cherry picked the documents (by people including an emperor who decided it was a smart move to ‘convert’) and that none of them were written by a mysterious being in the sky who is invisible, yet all-seeing, all-knowing, a father figure for all ( because that is a concept which is more up-to-date than worshipping the sun, plus all humans can grasp it and it’s a tidy and comfortable solution to all unknown things, rather than bothering with more rational methods ). Then, of course, we’d have to have an annex for Understanding Man’s Motives, dealing with psychology and rational thought.

  • Will S

    science brings a great understanding of nature and the universe. best way to understand the divine. Pagans are willing and generally eager to learn and adapt.

  • HyperDragon

    You must have an awesome dad! =)

  • HyperDragon

    Yeah but there must be a paying adult. Do you really wanna pay for this kind of “educational opportunity”?

  • EmmittBrownBTTF1

    Just smell the desperation will you? It’s fully rancid!

  • Justin rat

    Do you think this will ultimately help the museum?

  • madone_99301

    It all goes to show that you get what you pay for.

  • Matt

    i can’t believe it’s allowed to be called a “museum”

  • Jim

    How can evolution be a religion? And why specifically a pagan one? Religion requires faith in order for the stories to hold together as there is no evidence to support any of them. Evolution is the opposite of this as there is plenty of evidence to support it. Creationism, if you follow what is written in genesis to the letter, is simply not possible. That’s not to say that I don’t believe in God, but why would a book written 3000 years ago have a better understanding of our wolrd than evidence backed science today? I find it scary that they consider the learning of a scientific theory which is backed by evidence to be indoctrination. Surely they’re the ones trying to indoctrinate. Having said that I would go to this museum so that I could poke holes in every single thing they say.

  • Bob Caruana

    writly so, its about time creationist done something about the stupidity of EVOLUTION,All the text books are false and misleading in favour of evolution.

  • Bob Caruana

    grow up peabrain.

  • Joe Daza

    What’s next? are they going to open a museum to show how earth is flat? How is it even possible that this is called a museum?

    Evolution is indoctrination? Do they even know what a dogma.or a doctrine is?

    I wish they would stop trying to develop humans without critical thinking and poor reasoning, it really doesn’t help anyone but religions nontaxable pockets.

  • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

    Ray Comfort and his Creationist Museum here in San Diego were recently butthurt because the local Museum Association wouldn’t let them join. Because they’re not a real museum. Funny story here:

  • Peter Hinchliffe

    Bugger, I was in two minds about going- now I can not afford it!

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