Yeah, sure you’ll get my attention with a line like this:
Parents met with church leaders to discuss criminal charges they were considering filing against the church for child endangerment, neglect and torture.
But it’s not a news account. It’s part of the fake story behind a new Christian horror film, The Lock In, that purports to show how watching porn is a danger to one’s mortal soul. The working premise seems to be that Beelzebub lurks inside lady parts. Or maybe that’s chlamydia. (See? I’m already confused.)
Anyway, I know I had you at “Christian horror film,” so without further ado, here’s the trailer:

It’s all very Blair Witch-y, but with Bibles.
Release date in four weeks. (Heh — release! Giggity.)
I can’t wait.