French Catholics to Pray Against Marriage Equality, Gay Adoption, Euthanasia August 9, 2012

French Catholics to Pray Against Marriage Equality, Gay Adoption, Euthanasia

In 1638, France’s King Louis XIII decreed that all churches would pray on August 15th for the good of the country.

In 2012, all French Catholic churches will pray on August 15th — against marriage equality, adoption rights for gay couples, and euthanasia reform.

It’s no coincidence that these are all goals of the country’s new Socialist government and Catholics will certainly pray accordingly:

In the text, Catholics will pray for newly elected officials “so that their sense of the common good will overcome special demands.” This would include support for traditional families “throughout their lives, especially in painful moments.”

Pope Benedict and church leaders in England and Scotland have spoken out publicly against marriage equality, though a majority of people in France — Catholics included — are in favor of it.

Regarding gay adoption:

… it says children should “cease to be objects of the desires and conflicts of adults and fully benefit from the love of a father and a mother.”

France’s new Socialist president Francois Hollande has vowed to legalize marriage equality and euthanasia. Maybe after praying on it, some more French Catholics will see the light.

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  • LesterBallard

    Cheese eating surrender monkeys and their imaginary genocidal tyrant.

  • ‘In the text, Catholics will pray for newly elected officials “so that
    their sense of the common good will overcome special demands.” This
    would include support for traditional families “throughout their lives,
    especially in painful moments.”’

    Internal contradiction, hidden by legerdemain. The COMMON GOOD means everyone. But the Churchy Church is only interested in “support for traditional families.”

    In other words, “We wish to maintain our privilege, so shut up.”

  • Cheese-eating surrender monkeys? Really? What have the French as a peope done to you, personally?

  • ErickaMJohnson

    Will they actually pray for this or is this just what the church is telling them to pray for? Are French Catholics like American Catholics who mostly ignore what the Pope has to say?

  • LesterBallard

    Jesus fucking Christ.

  • Excellent. Now if we can just get American Catholics to limit their involvement in these matters to praying, society can happily advance.

  • Phil Bellerive

    All six of them????!!!!

  • Nice! Good luck with that. 

    French Catholics: “Dear God, we pray, please stop gay marriage.”
    God: “”

    (He’s probably busy working on Grammys and Oscars for American artists.)

  • Paul Rimmer

    Lots of religions have crazy beliefs, but typically don’t try to make it law. Jews think that it’s wrong to eat bacon but don’t try to make bacon illegal (as far as I know). Why can’t Catholics think that it’s wrong for two men or two women to marry each other, without trying to pass laws about it?

    Camille, would you find that acceptable, if a particular religion refuses to marry to men or two women, but stays out of law and politics?

  • Children should “cease to be objects of the desires… of adults…”
    Tell that to the Church’s many pedophile/child-molesting priests.

  • Niall O’Driscoll

    This ” cheese eating surrender monkeys ” terminology  stems from the fact that the French ( and most of the civilized world ! ) were opposed to the second Iraq war . This was , by the same standards of the post WW2 Nuremberg Tribunals , a war crime … but , of course , because it was an American war crime , it didn’t count !

  • Glasofruix

    In 2012, all French Catholic churches will pray on August 15th — against marriage equality, adoption rights for gay couples, and euthanasia reform.

    That’ll be fun, public lynching of the catholics i mean. I have some kind of religious cermony just under my window on august 15th, so if they plan on saying idiotic stuff like that i’ll make sure to boo them accordingly (i also have some stink bombs).

  • Glasofruix

    French catholics: “Dear God, we pray, please stop gay marriage.”
    God: “”
    French government: Fuck you idiots, pay up your taxes

  • So when France legalizes equal marriage despite these prayers this logically means that:

    1. The Catholic god is not the correct god. Their message did not get across because they were not praying to the correct god.


    2. The Catholic god is the correct god but approves of equal marriage, at least equal civil marriage.


    3. The Catholic god is against equal marriage but does not answer prayers, making a large tenet of Catholic (and Christian) teaching inaccurate.


    4. The Catholic god is against equal marriage but is democratic: more people are praying for gay marriage than against, so he will respect the will of the people.

    Which is it?

  • Also, the French people are very proud of their “laïcité” (secularity). They are a majority Christian country, like the U.S. but do not tolerate religious rhetoric in their politics. The last politician to quote the Bible on the floor of the legislature (about 5 years ago regarding civil unions) received so much public outcry that she eventually apologized.

  • Patterrssonn

    Why the need to pray if God is already against this?

  • RobMcCune

    (He’s probably busy working on Grammys and Oscars for American artists.) 

    Why do you think they waited until after the Olympics, there’s no way he’d be able find the time to save western civilization then.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought the surrender thing came from how France rolled over for Hitler? That’s what I’ve always heard when I ask people why they pick on the French so much. 

    Got nothin’ on the cheese, though. 

  • Hahahaha! Oui, les six. Très drôle.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Because the christian god cannot be assed to actually do anything unless his ego is stroked. 

  • The Catholic Church, like all the Abrahamic religions, controls people by teaching them to be neurotic about sex and death, and setting the holy men up as the only agents that can make sex and death okay. If you take away those taboos, they really have no power base left. 

  • Yukimi

    I guess because cheese is a very important meal in France. Also, they have very good cheeses.

    Yummy cheese /Homer’s Simpsons’ face

  • RobMcCune

    It’s from a 90s Simpsons episode, the insult is used by Grounds Keeper Willy, who is from Scotland, and has been assigned to teach French due to budget cuts.

  • Stev84

    It’s not like they had much of a choice. Yeah, sure their preparations were awful, but even better equipped they wouldn’t have had a chance.

  • Stev84

    If anyone is an expect about children becoming objects of desires it would be the Catholic Church

  • Stev84

    Oh yes. In that regard, they take separation of church and state much more seriously than the US

  • To extend that a bit further, it’s arguable that NO ONE would have been able to stand against the Nazi war machine at the time. They had the most modern, powerful, professional army in existence, and the French apparatus was designed for trench warfare from the 1910s.

    Much of the subtext in that insult (which was used copiously by certain American ‘patriots’ during the Iraq war) is that the French were useless anyway, and are cowards. This, despite the courage of the Maquis and Free French regiments in WW2.

    Naturally, those American jingoists who are less-thinking-enabled also believe that it was the U.S. that crushed the Nazis. When I start explaining how it was the Soviet Red Army and Russian winters that broke the back of the mighty Wehrmacht, I get either glassy-eyes looks or glares of pure hatred.

  • Well I guess that’s that then. I’m glad I’m not French, because I’d be annoyed rather than just wondering what on earth the French did to you.

  • LesterBallard

    You bunch of self-righteous, self important fucking idiots. It’s from the fucking Simpsons.

  • smrnda

     THANK YOU for someone giving proper credit to the Red Army. Seriously, the Russians fought hard with outdated weapons in horrible conditions, when sometimes you were running a 1% chance of surviving the week and you might be sent into battle without a gun – with orders to pick one up off a dead body.

    We should also credit fierce guerrilla resistance to the Japanese in China, and various mercenary troops from all over the British Empire, like the Ghurkas.

  • 3lemenope

    Uh, except for the hierarchy, Catholics in the US are more liberal than the average American on social issues. A majority support gay marriage, a majority support abortion rights. Why wouldn’t you want them voting and advocating, they’re our allies on these things!

  • LesterBallard

    It’s from the motherfucking Simpsons.

  • Chakolate

    FYI, August 15th is the Feast of the Assumption, the day their goddess, Mary, was ‘assumed’ into heaven.  That is, without dying first. 

    This whole thing is so funny.  If the church says all catholics should pray, you can bet there will be at least a dozen following orders.  Look out!

  • No shit. It’s also be co-opted by American nationalists who can’t fucking handle it when someone calls U.S. foreign policy on its shit, in this case the French.

    It was funny as hell when the Simpsons used it. Not so much since “Freedom Fries”.

  • LesterBallard

    I don’t give a fuck who co-opts it, I still think it’s funny, so you can suck shit out of my ass, you arrogant. self-righteous fuck.

  • Awww, someone’s butthurt. 🙂

  • LesterBallard

    Your mother?

  • 3lemenope

    Um, there are laws on the books in Israel severely restricting the preparation and sale of pork products (essentially, you have to either being doing for “scientific purposes” or be in a designated Druze- or Christian-majority area). So, even there, it’s less of a matter of not wanting to legislate one’s preferences and much more about which group happens to be in charge. 

  • LesterBallard

    Nah, can’t be her, not with all her experience.

  • Glasofruix

    Funny, i call this date “Booze Feast” mostly because of all those drunkards who piss on my door that night, every fucking year… Do you think a car battery and two wires running across the door will do the trick?

  • Well, I think you know what I meant! How about we change it from “American Catholics” to “American Catholic Leadership”?

  • 3lemenope

    Sounds good to me!

  • Ibis3

     5. Or the Catholic god said “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s” and meant it.

  •  Intent isn’t magic.  When you post a quote without identifying it as such, or without providing any context around it to indicate that it’s a joke, then you are setting yourself up to be misunderstood.  It’s not our job to read your mind.  It’s your job to communicate clearly.

  • LesterBallard

    You’re correct. I constantly over estimate people.

  • You overestimated yourself.  I’ll definitely give you that.

  • LesterBallard

    I saw French and Groundskeeper Willie popped into my head, so obviously I was seriously denigrating the French and talking about the Iraq War.

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