Church Members to Couple: You Can’t Get Married Here Because You’re Black

Wow… just wow… I mean I’ve made jokes that Mississippi is still fighting the Civil War but I never imagined they were this accurate.

It’s not even an interracial couple. This church isn’t stuck in the 1960’s, they’re stuck in the 1860’s. Marrying black people in their church will set a “precedent?” Wow, I can’t stop saying wow.

I don’t really blame the pastor here who didn’t want to lose his job since it seems like he doesn’t have much say in how the church is run and he can be fired by popular vote. Though I agree that if I were him, I wouldn’t even WANT the job.

Pathetic.

Why hasn’t that church’s tax free status been IMMEDIATELY pulled?

How many of us would have to join that church to be able to vote in favour of … I dunno … a festival giving thanks for porn?

>I mean I’ve made jokes that Mississippi is still fighting the Civil War but I never imagined they were this accurate.

It’s more accurate than you think. Applies to Georgia just as well.

Oh, and, by the way, it’s not Civil War around here, it’s “War between the States!” LOL

Not only is the pastor a wimpy milquetoast, unable or unwilling (or both!) to confront the bigots in his own church, the town itself is reacting similarly. They profess to be upset by this bigotry, and they’re disavowing it, but the only action they’re undertaking is holding a “unity rally.”

Sorry but “unity rallies” cannot, and will never, do the slightest thing about bigotry. Facing down the bigots, might. Meaningful actions would include reprimanding them, throwing them out of the congregation, and/or ostracizing them generally (e.g. refusing to patronize a business one of them might own).

But so far as has been reported, none of that has happened. After the “unity rally,” life in this little southern town will, in all likelihood, go right back to what it always has been. The bigotry will have won, and those who profess not to like it, will have demonstrated their worthlessness.

I thought it was “The War of Northern Aggression” (even though it was started by a sneak Southern attack)

That’s what my ex always called it, and he would deny up and down that it had anything to do with slavery.

Most of mt friends and relatives that  live in other parts of the nation are gobsmacked when I tell them what it’s like in this area of the country.  In parts of Texas, where I live, and the rest of the southern states, it’s like a goddamn time warp!

I’ve actually tried reasoning with these yokels on several occasions, to no avail of course.  They seem to be completely ignorant of the fact that they are on the wrong side of history on a whole host of issues. Since they live in an alternate dimension, these types don’t realize that most people in the rest of the civilized world are snickering and rolling their eyes when they read about people that treat others like dog shit because of  melanin content,  think evolution is a fantasy,  a bearded guy sitting on a cloud  with cosmic powers gives a shit about who we sleep with, a few microscopic cells constitute a person, (sigh) etc. etc. etc……… 

Oh, come on!  Really?

“I’m just waiting for a congregation member to throw out some Bible verse in justification of the racism… ”

This.

So in 2012, some churches are still practicing good old fashioned racism.  Good to know. 

 I refuse to shop in any store that offers clothing apparel with the confederate flag on it. My boyfriend and I were shopping in a beach-side store on our vacation in Corpus Christi last year, and we left after we go to one part of the store that had a giant confederate flag hanging on the wall.

I bet their skin color didn’t matter when it was time to pass that collection plate around. Pricks.  And the pastor needs to grow some balls, too.

 Good for you! These idiots have no empathy for their fellow human beings. I can hear it now “golly gee why would you find the confederate flag offensive? It symbolizes freedom and states rights.” Yeah,  freedom, uh huh… states rights, sure.  What… the “freedom” to own slaves? The right to tell the rest of the country to F-off because you want to have your own little pocket nation of loser racists?

Yup, you can count on the south to be honest about their bigotry. It’s the let live attitude that some liberals, agnostics, and Unitarians espouse that really bothers me.   

Huh? I got the first sentence.  Care to explain what you mean in the second?

Apparently there’s nothing worse than a let-liver.

A lot of American Christians don’t actually know that you don’t have to get married in a church. It’s too deeply embedded into the culture

Kudos! My sister went through the same thing with some idiot. But he knew that she had a brother and cousins that would beat the shit out of him if he touched her.

The sad part is that a lot of Christians get married in a church, then go to a reception to get wasted and screw the bridesmaids.  It’s a tradition or sorts, and quite acceptable to many of the devout.

Why would anyone belong to any religion?  They are all delusional.

Well when you put it that way I agree with you. I consider them enablers rather than let livers. Kinda like some people who only slam  religious right whack jobs but don’t  shine the same critical light on on some fundies that treat their women like shit and murder gays…all because they don’t want to seem intolerant.

At least they can go somewhere else and get married.  I would have to go to another state to be married, and still have to claim individual with no dependents on both my state and federal taxes.  So their religion shunned them, my state and country is shunning me…

WTF, why would any black person attend such a church. Apparently there are quite a few black members. This Pastor should have held the wedding and excommunicated the minority of members who were the problem. Baptists excommunicate gays, so why not racists?

Just so you’re aware, johnee, you are, in fact, coming off as a bigot. I’m a southerner, and not a thing you’ve said about southerners here has applied to me, and I’m not an anomoly. Also, it’s “secession,” not “succession.”

 And of course the Confederates were often hypocrites about states’ rights. After all, the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 nullified any free state’s law that gave black people accused of being runaway slaves a right to contest the claim.

Thanks for pointing out the misspell.  My spelling and grammar can go in the toilet when I am typing and trying to get my thoughts out. That aside, please re- read my posts. There is not one place where I stereotype southerners. The article and most of our responses are directed toward racists and religious right fundies, not southerners in general. 

 I have lived in Texas for many years and there are a lot of good people here too.  So no, you are not an anomaly. But c’mon, you can’t deny that we have larger concentrations of these idiots than other parts of the United States. I encounter them all the time, as I’m sure you do. And our political candidates wouldn’t be able to get up and talk about stupid shit like teaching creationism in science class, and “secession” (thank you) unless they were playing to a significant portion of their base. 

OK, I’m ready for people to again tell me how open, welcoming and benign churches are.  How even a muslim could expect to walk into a church on Sunday and snag a bulletin.

Though I’m honestly surprised that blacks were allowed to attend services and join the church.  I’ve actually seen black people turned away or kicked out because of their skin color at the churches my parents made me attend (usually by being told, “you’d be happier somewhere else!).  Of course, that was many years ago now and I’m not sure how common that really is.  Though I’d expect in some areas of the South it’s still a common practice.  Even if people aren’t told they’re not welcome outright, I’m sure they pick up on the signals quickly enough.

 Sorry, no…churches don’t have to marry a couple if they don’t want to.

Though I’d wonder if this couple has a civil suit considering how little notice they got to change their plans.

Awww…Bless your heart, Justin! (you know what THAT means in ‘southern’, don’t you??!!!??)

Johnee, I was born, raised, and unfortunately lived in the South for too long as an adult, and no, you’re not being a ‘bigot’ against Southerners.  What you’re talking about it ALL too common.  I guess some people aren’t forced by their families to travel in THOSE circles.  Lucky ducks, lol!

Opening, welcoming and benign if you’re the right “kind*” of person…

*White, heterosexual, and Christian. All others need not apply.

This doesn’t shock me.  I was raised as a fundamentalist Baptist in the southern U.S. (until I saw the light and got the hell out.)   I vividly recall an incident in my church as a kid when a black family showed up one Sunday morning for church services.  After the service ended the minister walked up to the family and suggested that they would be more “comfortable” in an all-black church.  He then provided them with a complete list of nearby churches that had predominately all-black congregations.  

Whose comfort was the minister really worried about?  His own or the families?  His approach was tinged with soft racism, but it was still racism nonetheless.

Kinda like some people who only slam  religious right whack jobs but don’t  shine the same critical light on on some fundies that treat their women like shit and murder gays…all because they don’t want to seem intolerant.

Who, exactly, is “some people”? I’ve personally never met (never mind read) a person who would shy away from criticizing a misogynist or a gay-basher for fear of seeming intolerant, and would be astonished if there were many people who fit that description.

Thanks, I’m totally ignorant in this area. So in your opinion his motivation was self interest, which in this case amounts to selfishness?

If they had been turned away from the start that would have been true, although morally it’s still indefensible.

However, they were told that they could get married there. They planned everything with the expectation that they would be married there. Then the day before the wedding, they were refused. So in essence they had a contract that was then breached by the church.

 In particular, some on the left that won’t hesitate to bash Christian fundies and racists ( as they damn well should) but exhibit a knee jerk, apologetic attitude when it comes to certain Islamic societies that treat their women lower than whale crap. Oh, and let’s just say gays don’t dare come out of the closet in these  societies.

I find it hard to believe that you haven’t met, heard, or read of these people. I don’t know how familiar you are with them, but both Bill Maher and Dan Savage (certainly not right wing guys) point out these  hypocrites all the time.

Goose liver is delicious, though.

You are wrong. This is about religion, and it is about the South. It is about religion because we see in this example a total failure of Christianity to provide an acceptable moral foundation for this group of people… despite the fact that religious apologists claim that as a fundamental value of religion. And it is about the South because that region is the heart and soul of racism and fundamentalism in the U.S. That doesn’t mean every Southerner is an ignorant racist, and it doesn’t mean you don’t find plenty of those in other places. But the South is the source of the cancer, and its disproportionate political influence (through our misguided Senatorial system) is a major factor in keeping the entire country from moving forward.

Its’s Mississippi. Is anyone surprised? I have several relatives that live in Crystal Springs and I spent alot of time there when I was little. Aunts, uncles, and cousins, all seemingly normal, happy, funloving folks and all completely racist (and homophobics). I remember my uncle, ( a substantial community member and landholder in Crystal Springs) looking at his t.v. and (then) VCR and saying “Isnt it amazing what the white man has done?” For real.  Let’s overlook the fact that both units came from Asia so all that the white man has done is learn how to outsource cheap labor and ship goods into this country.  I have a cousin further south in Natchez who still uses the N word frequently. She and her ex-husband were both racists, rightwingers and then were shocked when their 20 something daughter put a bullet in her head. Even at her funeral they had a side of the church for one denomination and the other side for the other denomination. I told my mom “see, its this religious bullshit that makes people put a gun to their head in the first place.” and of course all she had to say was “religion is nothing. its all about jesus.” *facepalm*. anyway, my relatives will say “oh, we arent racists, we’ve always had black nannies, maids, yard people.” another *facepalm* If the south is the buckle of the bible belt then Mississippi is the zipper.

Personally? All in favour of this. For a few reasons.
1. You can’t tell churches that legalizing same-sex marriages will not result in churches being forced to perform them, if you want to force them to marry other people. Freedom of religion applies equally here. 
2. It makes this church (and by association) other churches look like dicks. When churches look like dicks, people leave. 

I have to agree, it is about the South and religion.  This is the Bible Belt, but it apparently has no real use for the parts of the Bible it disagrees with.  Yet they will intimidate and ostracize  anyone who doesn’t proclaim love for Jesus and the Bible.  Hypocrisy, like illiteracy and bigotry, is comfortably at home here in Georgia.

 Wow. What YOU said!

I’m in an Interracial Marriage living in the beautiful state of Arkansas. I can tell you without a doubt that racism is still stagnant in the waters. My wonderful wife and I can hardly enjoy time out with one another without getting stared at in public. If that wasn’t bad enough we are both Atheists. We are quite the anomaly in these parts. Although we don’t wear our scarlet A’s of course. The southerners are always gloating about southern hospitality… Yeah, if you’re white!
This is no different then denying LGBT members marriage. Maybe this will shed some light on the definition of marriage from a humanist perspective.  I wish there was something we could do to help this couple. What better way to show those Christians how humanism works.