‘Mitt Romney: A Hero in My Mind’ July 25, 2012

‘Mitt Romney: A Hero in My Mind’

By Jessica Bluemke
July 25, 2012

William Tapley, the Phallic Symbols Guy from 2011, has written Mitt Romney‘s campaign song! (The Romney campaign did not get back to me when I submitted my suggestion.)

I literally love it more than anything:

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Cried the eagle to the world below.

Wake up friend!

Can’t you see we’re at the end?

Wars and rumors of wars

Look out for the signs he gave

Jesus gave

Are you saved?

If you keep your wick trimmed,

You’ll be saved.

You’ll go with Him.

World War 3.

That’s Obama’s plan for you and me.

What a crock!

It’s the only hope he’s got.

He can’t be elected on his record, it’s a crime.

He should resign.

That’s why I’m

Voting for Mitt Romney,

He’s a hero in my mind.

Personally, it reads as more of an “Anti-Obama, End of Days, Accept Christ Before It’s Too Late” anthem, but hey, a song’s a song, amirite?

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  • richardlynnbell

    And he uses the term “Mind” in its broadest possible sense.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    If you keep your wick trimmed,You’ll be saved.

    A double entendre! How circumspect.

  • MegaZeusThor

    Glancing at his YouTube channel, and I can’t quite tell if he’s serious or if it’s seriously good satire… 

  • Is this guy Jewish?

  • Xeon2000

    circumspect… nice decision–with your word choice I mean.

  • Edmond

    Is that a biblical phrase?  It sounds like a euphemism for… something.  Well, gotta go trim my wick!  I’ll be in my bunk.

  • This guy is serious.  His expose on the Denver airport was exquisite!

  • Why is the third eagle of the apocalypse endorsing a mormon?  I know the momorn church claim that towards the end the world will turn to them for help but evangelicals (even nut jobs like Tapley) tend to avoid mormonism like the plague.  It’s a sex cult, don’tchaknow.

  • TCC

    It is in fact a reference to Matthew 25, the parable of the virgins.

  • jdm8

    Mitt seems to make conservatives feel safe, I don’t know why.  I think it’s that he’s not Obama, but in many respects, his positions were often very similar to Obama’s on many issues, just with an “R” behind his name.  For all the RINO talk in Republican “tent”, Mitt fits RINO better than most of his rivals.

    Crackpots much like this guy think Obama is a Kenyan born Muslim, so a Mormon might feel very safe in comparison.

  • cipher

    You beat me to it!

  • cipher

    If nothing else, the Internet has shown us how many truly stupid people there are in this country.

  • Reginald Selkirk

     How do you know that “in fact” it is merely a reference to Matt 25, and not a double entendre reference to Gen 17? How do you know that “in fact” Matt 25 is not a double entendre reference to Gen 17?

  • B_R_Deadite99

    WTF did I just watch? 

  • B_R_Deadite99

     Indeed, it’s fit to impress Phil Ken Sebben himself! Ha-Hah!