The Tomatoes Are Too Damn Christian June 24, 2012

The Tomatoes Are Too Damn Christian

By Hemant Mehta
June 24, 2012

A poe-worthy fundamentalist Islamic group called the Popular Egyptian Islamic Association recently advised followers not to eat tomatoes because they’re just too Christian.

I mean, LOOK AT THE CROSS!

The group posted a photo on its page of a tomato — which appears to reveal the shape of a cross after being cut in half – along with the message: “Eating tomatoes is forbidden because they are Christian. [The tomato] praises the cross instead of Allah and says that Allah is three (a reference to the Trinity).

Is it a parody? I hope it’s a parody. It’s one hell of a good parody.

Meanwhile, when asked for clarification, the group added:

“We didn’t say you can’t eat tomatoes. We said don’t cut it in [such a way that reveals] the cross shape.”

There. Now it all makes logical sense.

I can’t wait until their next mission: To abolish lower case t’s from the English alphabet.

(via Secular Right)

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  • Baby_Raptor

    What? lol

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    Now I want a juicy  tomatoe straight from a garden. Those are the bomb diggity.

  • “bomb” diggity

    I see what you did there, my dear sir

    …and I LIKE it!

  • cipher

    I trust no one has told them yet about broccoli  (or Brussels sprouts, cabbage, etc.).

  • 0xabad1dea

    Sooo… if they think that Nature is glorifying someone else’s religion on its own accord…

    By their own logic, wouldn’t that make the other religion superior?

    (Although the problem remains that it’s dang hard to identify a parody in another language/culture.)

  • Recoveringagnostic

    Wait, I thought tomatoes were holy fruit which proved that Allah is great and merciful, because some woman once cut one open like this to reveal the seeds spelling out “Allah” in Arabic. Or something.

    Now I come to say that, it sounds ridiculous, but a beacon of sense compared to this.

  • Recovering Agnostic

  • Well, duh! It’s a Roma tomato… what do they expect? They should go for the Omar’s Lebanese variety, maybe.

  • Shuteme

    Haha haha haha haha them folks are as retarded as the christians that they despise. That hilarious! Haha haha
    !

  • mikespeir

    That’s not a cross.  That’s a “X”.  They just have it turned 45 degrees in the picture.

  • ET

    I can’t read a word of Arabic, but this looks mighty suspicious because it’s justified for left-to-right reads. I would expect all the text to start on the right and leave a jagged margin on the left. I think it’s a Poe.

  • Coming up after the commercial break: A Southern Baptist church says that Christians should not look at the crescent moon because it is the symbol of Islam. Especially whenever Venus or any bright star appears in the sky close to the crescent moon, Christians should stay indoors with their shades drawn. They also said that Christians should not eat bananas for the same reason. Or trim their thumbnails round on the end.

  • Foolish heathens! Thou shalt not eat thine tomatoes in ways that are unholy! This is the world of the Lord!

  • MG

    I adore all cruciferous vegetables. Does that mean I’m not really an atheist?!

  • cipher

    I’m afraid so.

    “And you shall offer one head of cabbage for a sin offering, and two heads of broccoli as a sacrifice of peace offerings.” – Leviticus 23:19

  • cipher

    D’oh!

  • allein

    I think when your tomatoes start talking to you, it’s time to see a doctor.

  • amycas

     “I can’t wait until their next mission: To abolish lower case t’s from the English alphabet.”

    This reminds me of that line from Wayne’s World 2: “Now we just need to cross our t’s and dot our…lower-case j’s.”

  • NickDB

    For some reason their name just gives me Life of Brian flashbacks.

    I wonder if there is a popular peoples front of Egypt?

  • littlejohn

    It’s not a christian cross. Clearly it’s a German Iron Cross. It’s a Nazi tomato. Of course, the Nazis were primarily Catholics.

  • Jett Perrobone

    That must be why they call it a “cross-section”. 😛

  • The cross and a message from Allah? Tomatoes are clearly syncretists!

  • Nicole Youngman

     Not to mention that tomatoes are native to South America. 🙂

  • Loic

    I guess a nice bouquet of dogwood and passionflowers would be out of the question….

  • Javedpayenda

    ha ha ha They have to cut the hands from arms as when you raise them up , you look like a cross as well. 🙂