You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat May 21, 2012

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

I’m just sayin’…

(Via The Thinking Atheist)

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  • Amey

    You might not need food for a year – theoretically some of those animal pairs will breed, producing “food.”  The offspring or parents will need to be eaten by someone or something or else it’ll get mighty crowded.

    Maybe they need to talk to the guys who did 2012 (the movie).  They at least planned for several arks. 

  • Quintin

    Maybe the boys could camp out in the belly of a fish for a year to save room.

  • and 1 evergreen shaped air freshener.

  • Oihorse

    Perhaps it’s like the TARDIS?

  • “1 evergreen shaped air freshener” 265 feet high (43k+ creatures create a LOT of poop)

  • newavocation

    Eggs, frozen embryos and mosquitoes  in amber. And Noah should have passed on the last dinosaur omelet. 

  • Maya Kulik

    I am forced to post this.

  • Amey

    They’ll just shovel it out into the flood.

  • Duke OfOmnium

    Absolutely not!!  Only the most evil and heinous of gods could ever allow John Cusack to be saved.

  • Marguerite

    And they put it together with a sonic screwdriver.

  • I thought all animals pre-flood were herbivores.  Even the dinosaurs.  Or was that pre-forbidden fruit?

  • Thomasnuttle

    Gee Claudia.  I’d imagine in molecular biology school they’d teach you the difference between its and it’s.  For writing scientific reports and stuff.  This makes you really credible, Madame Scientist Claudia.

  • Gus

    Even if they’re not, you still need food for the bottom of the food chain. Let’s say we’re expecting rabbits to feed all the carnivores, we’d still need an enormous tonnage in rabbit food, plus food for other herbivores. Hell, vegetarians are far more efficient than carnivores anyway. No way this notion saves any cargo room.

  • Gus

    Brilliant, but the pictures should be the same scale.

  • TiltedHorizon

    I’m just amazed that a being who was able to create reality from nothing was unable to  directly return the unworthy to nothingness without collateral death. Since god can’t hit the broad side of a barn, he drowns the farm.

  • Atoswald

    I’m sorry, Mr. High and Mighty, how does a typo or grammatical error signify that Claudia is not credible?

  • There was one creationist here in Alberta who claims that the Ark was the size of a WW2 aircraft carrier. Not even close.   Towards the bottom. 

  • For the sake of argument,  the Titanic had rooms that were only used for enjoyment purposes, (i.e. ball room, pool, dinning hall…etc) and also storage, and the engine/coal/steam areas used for power. Still all that being said the “Ark” is quite an impossible idea.

  • I_Claudia

    The snark was unnecessary, but I’ll thank you for the correction. Edited.

  • Glasofruix

    I’m never tired of this vid

  • Glasofruix

     A wooden boat of that size would break in half as sonn as it’s on water, it’ll break even with it’s biblical size.

  • Glasofruix

     They would have been shoveling the shit 24/24

  • usclat

    TN you’re a douche bag. How’s MY grammar? 

  • Darwin’s Dagger

    Those animal estimates look like the number of species within each class, so you would have to double those numbers since you would need at least two of each species. And where did the other classes, phyla or kingdoms (there needed to be room for at least the seeds of all the grasses, trees, etc.) go. Not that I need to expand the ridiculous to the ludicrous. What being with omniscience and omnipotence annihilates an entire ecosystem of creatures to remove the wickedness of a single species and then utterly fails to have any impact on that species wickedness? How about just wishing all of the humans dead? Or at least designing an elegant virus that will attack only the offending species? And where did they keep the viruses on the Ark? The level 4 containment lab?

  • Cincinatheist

    And now ladies and gentlemen, if you look off to our left, you will spot the ad hominem. Of course, it is one of the more common fallacies we will encounter on our tour of Nutjob Land, and you should be aware of them, because they usually come swooping from all directions and I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.

    Now if you’ll all please face forward, I don’t want anyone to get sick from the argumentum ad nauseam we are about to encounter as we weave between the moving goal posts….

  • T-Rex

    That “ark” is an incredible feat of engineering. It’s also an incredible waste of time, resources and money. Although it does prove that that the story of Noah is just another fairy tale/myth, like most of the stories in that ancient text that has been modified, edited and transcribed  thousands of times over the centruies. SMH

  • I_Claudia

     And what did they do with the plant life? What about all the species that are parasitic and thus need other species to survive? What about species that require deserts, or those that require lush rainforest, or those that only survive on substrate that is the result of other forms of life dying first?

    This is what happens when you take an ancient myth about a localized flood and try to universalize it to an entire planet when it was never intended to go that far.

  • Just playing the IDiot’s Advocate, but of course you don’t need a pair for each species, you need two or seven of each kind.  Three’s probably there’s only one kind of ‘cat’ so there weren’t two lions and two tigers and two leopards.  There were two ‘cats’.

    (Never mind there haven’t been enough generations to property diversify cats, that’s a fact and we don’t need no stinkin’ facts)

  • Yeah, no probably about it, under Lion they say:

    Created Kind Members

    Cheetah, jaguar, leopard, bobcat, tiger, cougar, housecat 

  • Darwin’s Dagger

    So they do believe in evolution. All modern cat species evolved from a common ancestral pair of lions within the last 4,000 years.

  • Or as they like to call it, “micro-evolution”.  You know, since cats don’t give birth to dogs, and crocodiles don’t give birth to crocoducks.

  • Why don’t they just go ahead and admit that they believe in evolution, just on a grander and faster scale than reality? I’m surprised these jackinapes aren’t claiming that people used to live for hundreds and hundreds of years… oh wait…

  •  Ah, but the sonic screwdriver works on everything but wood!

  •  Aren’t those that push belief in the ark doing that today?

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