City Church Brings Sexy Back April 22, 2012

City Church Brings Sexy Back

By Hemant Mehta
April 22, 2012

I need to start attending The City Church in Washington (a.k.a. Mark Driscoll-ville). It sounds like they know how to have a good time:

Forget that fact that they’re making a more-than-five-year-old pop culture reference. How exactly is Jesus “bringing sexy back”?

Let’s look at the sermon description…

This Easter message… discusses the word TORMENT, and how Jesus’ suffering, death, and resurrection give us freedom in every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality.

Hm. I guess Jesus was involved in BDSM. Who knew. (Maybe he just forgot the safe word?)

Also, if you listen to the first couple of minutes of Judah Smith‘s sermon, you learn that God created sex… and Christians have the best sex on the planet.

Judging by the response, even his own congregation doesn’t believe that lie. Hilarious.

(via The Museum of Idolatry)

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  • Combining a 5 year old pop culture reference with a 2 year old marketing campaign.

  • “Hm. I guess Jesus was involved in BDSM. Who knew.”

    What, you haven’t seen “The Passion of the Christ”, aka “Good Friday the 13th”, aka “The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre”?  That’s Christian BDSM torture porn at it’s finest.   

  • V Williams

    I live in WA and got this postcard in the mail.  So weird.  Several Christians I know were offended by it which I thought was interesting.  Just to clarify – this isn’t Mark Driscoll’s Church, but yes, it is the same town.  We are actually a very progressive place.  I’m not sure how this happened to us.  We also have the Discovery Institute.  Please don’t judge…

  • Lee Miller

    How can anybody stand to listen to that Judah Smith guy for any more than the first couple of minutes?  Just that much was like torture.  I don’t understand why adults subject themselves to that kind of idiotic talk.  Stay home and read the Sunday newspaper, people.  Blecchh.

  • Fester Sixonesixonethree

    Sorry – I just can’t listen to that awful COMB OVER! >Shudder<

  • Also, if you listen to the first couple of minutes of Judah Smith‘s sermon, you learn that God created sex… and Christians have the best sex on the planet.

    Judging by the response, even his own congregation doesn’t believe that lie. Hilarious.

    Based on the survey data you posted last fall, the group that has the least sexual guilt (and perhaps the best sex) is Unitarian:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2011/05/15/the-results-of-an-atheist-sex-survey/

    It must have something to do with their comprehensive, medically accurate, and sexuality-positive sexuality education they provide in their congregations.

  • Drew M.

    Jesus has some gorgeous lips.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    Someone needs to tickle his prostate.

  • Jesus is bringing creepy back. (Not that it ever really left…)

  • Bryan82

     “Ironically, as Christians we follow Jesus, who invented sex…”

    Wait, what?  How did the thousand or so generations before Jesus procreate?

    “…as followers of God, the one who invented sex…”

    Oh, right, Jesus IS God and his son and his own grandpa…

    “…as followers of God, the one who invented sex, [Christians] ought to be the first people on the planet to say ‘This is what healthy sex is all about.’ ”

    And there’s about 1/3 of what’s wrong with Christianity.

  • … and Christians have the best sex on the planet.

    Isn’t that what Ted Haggard said shortly before he was caught with a male prostitute?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX79GiZPP1Q

  • These people will say anything, and they’ll believe almost anything they say.

  • My bet is on Pagans & atheists having the best sex.

  • Onamission5

    I want to know how someone who is purported to have been celibate “invented sex.”

  • Stev84

    He had ghost sex with Mary

  • Glasofruix

     I think he used to bang Maria Magdalena, if my memory is right.

  • advancedatheist

    I guess Elevator Guy needs to join a church instead of trying to meet women at atheist conventions.

  • ortcutt

    Christians strike me as people who can’t grow up and accept the responsibilities of adulthood.  As human agents, we have the ability to make sexual choices and make sexual commitments to our partners.  For different people those choices will be different depending on what their interests are and what their partner’s are.  The Christian attitude to sex seems to be infantile and scared, afraid to make choices about their own sexual life and afraid to talk openly and straightforwardly with their partners about their sexual life.  There is a reason why atheists have the best sex.  We’re people who take responsibility for our choices without the fear and guilt of an arbitrary master who wants to tell you what those choices must be.

  • Dwayne_Windham

     … and I guarantee that in Unitarian congregations, there are several pagans and atheists.

  • dantresomi

    …and yet ANOTHER reason not to go to church…

    the golf claps were funny 

  • James Reade

    Oh it’s all too easy to poke fun at others isn’t it?

    I guess that’s why there’s some saying by some “good teacher” about removing the plank from your own eye?

    And how exactly can a statement that is unprovable one way or another (Christians have the best sex) be a lie?  Revealing your own prejudices here I see.

  • “And how exactly can a statement that is unprovable one way or another (Christians have the best sex) be a lie?”

    If it’s unproveable, why would you say it in the first place, especially if it had behavioral implications for your audience?

    There’s an invisible pink unicorn in my sock drawer, and it’s telling me to throw poop at you across the Internet.

    You can’t disprove it. I’m not lying. Ta-da!

  • The “female” in the images reminds me of a blow-up doll or one of the Japanese sexy robots.    – which totally fits with the Xian view of a woman’s role in sex.