As it turns out, one of my readers has a connection to the hotel where this convention is happening and noticed these signs plastered all over the place:
Ok… time to play the game of “What the hell are the Christians thinking?”
Option 1) We can’t have a girl and a boy and NO ONE ELSE in an elevator together! They would jump each other. We all know Christians can’t keep their pants on in elevators. And don’t even get me started on a full elevator with multiple boys and girls… Orgy-sus!
Option 2) We can’t have girls using the escalators! They could fall off and hurt themselves! Must keep them sheltered in a box. Much like we do in all the other areas of their lives.
Option 3) We can’t have girls using the escalators! What if the escalators broke down?! Then the girls would have to climb stairs! Jesus never wanted Christian women to break a sweat.
Option 4) We can’t have girls using the escalators! They have to step on and step off at just the right time… it’s too much thinking! Let’s just have them push a button. They can handle that. Maybe.
As it turns out, the escalators aren’t working, so it looks like the Christian boys are in for a bit of a workout this weekend. Praise be to Jesus, though, the womenfolk will get to avoid the grueling workout.
(Thanks to Jessica for the image!)