The Funniest Thing You’ll See a Christian Do All Day… March 26, 2012

The Funniest Thing You’ll See a Christian Do All Day…

By Hemant Mehta
March 26, 2012

Jonathan McLatchie, a man who believes the Bible is 100% true, has an article at the Cross Examined blog in which he details the problems with the Koran…

In this article, I am going to focus specifically on the historical accuracy of the Qur’an. As we shall see, the claim that the Qur’an is historically accurate — particularly when it describes events hundreds of years removed from its writing — is not a tenable position.

Umm… Jonathan… hate to break this to you…

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  • You see, any evidence that the Bible isn’t 100% correct is actually just evidence that God wrote it, since he had to put in some red herrings so we’d have free will.  Since God obviously didn’t write the Qur’an, the same doesn’t apply.

  • Iosue

    Christians are notoriously oblivious to irony…

  • 100% true? He makes it too easy, anyone can easily claim he sees women as inferior and that slavery is just against him. And probably a million other things as well. A lot of controversial things in the bible if you give it a serious read… saying 100% is a bit of a stretch, no matter what religion you are.

  • The Bible has it worse off. It’s always possible to claim secular history, secular science, and other people’s scriptures are mistaken when they contradict The True Scriptures. But Christians are stuck having to believe both the Jewish scriptures and early Christian scriptures are The True Scriptures, so conflicts between *these* writings are especially dangerous.

    I stopped being a Christian when I understood just how badly the “Old Testament” and “New Testament” fit together. It’s something that isn’t apparent with a Bible-stories approach to the Bible as one big book. Christian translations and inserted headings in the Jewish scriptures also go a long way to plastering over the cracks. But here’s a simple exercise to kill one’s faith: read Matthew and look up the context of his Old Testament quotes. If the Qur’an quoted the Jewish scriptures the way Matthew does, would you complain?

  • This made me laugh so hard I sprayed coffee all over my laptop.

  • Matto the Hun

    Finally! Someone who gets it!

    Truly thou art blessed. 😛

  • Anonymous

    That’s just morality. You can find far more obvious errors – ones that are demonstrably and empirically wrong – such as insects having four legs: Lev. 11:20-23

    Or physically impossible stories like Noah’s ark

  • Jblow55555

    Why do you spend all day hatemongering on Christians?  What’s wrong with you people?  

  • Why do you spend so much time hatemongering on Jews?  What’s wrong with you?

  • JohnnieCanuck

    The  order in which things were created in Genesis 1 vs. Genesis 2 is one of my favourite self contradictions in the Bible.

  • icecreamassassin

    I’ll say the guy is thorough:
    http://apologeticsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/did-muhammad-properly-understand.html
    http://apologeticsuk.blogspot.com/2012/01/trinity-defended.html

    The Trinity defense is a pretty interesting read actually.  Not terribly satisfying intellectually, and it ultimately breaks down to a whole lot of semantic hodge-podgey interpretation and hand waving (he’s not three distinct persons, but he is three distinct essences…whatever the eff that means), but interesting nonetheless.

  • When was the last time a judge ruling on a divorce case ruled that the parent who regularly took the child to services at a Christian church was less fit to parent than the atheist parent?

    When was the last time that a large group of atheists suggested that people erecting a non-First-Amendment-violating religious display should be assaulted, raped, or killed?

    When was the last time an atheist called for Christians who were unsatisfied with this country’s secular heritage to leave the country, as they were not welcome here?  Did a presidential candidate sit and listen to this without objecting?

    When was the last time a governmental unit’s charter or constitution said that a person of Christian faith was not suitable to serve in political office?

    When was the last time a member of the armed services said that given this country’s obvious secular nature, Christians were not fit to serve as members of the military?

    What is wrong with us?  WE’RE MAD AS HELL, AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE.

  • Anonymous

     Also funny how plants were created before the sun

    The contradiction is obvious when you realize that these are two distinct myths, with the first one being far older. But acknowledging that is too much for literalists

  •  Pointing out stupidity by an oppressive and privileged majority is not  hate.
    Claims of oppression and discrimination when you are a member of the oppressive and privileged majority fall on deaf ears where reason reigns. This is just such a place. Go somewhere else if you can’t handle reality.

  • We’re not hating on christians. We’re showing contempt of a “hypothesis” that has no evidence and no way to test it’s validity.  We’re showing contempt for his hypocrisy in trying to prove a holy text wrong while not being able to show any evidence whatsoever that his holy text is right.  We’re showing contempt for the fact that people insist on spreading the word of Jesus as though it were fact.  We also show contempt for others who support ideas with no evidence.  We believe muslims are wrong too, they’re just not in our faces about it as much as christians, so christians get the brunt of our contempt.  We just want proof before we bother listening to it anymore and no one who argues that position is able to provide any.  It’s kinda crazy to be so sure of something when there’s NO PROOF that it’s correct.  In fact, we’ve proven LOTS of it to be completely WRONG.   Just check the link in Mr. Mehta’s blog here.

  • Jesus wrote all of the books, duh!  And he was there.  

  • JohnnieCanuck

    I was lied to as a child. Told to pray because if I were to die in my sleep, I would be at risk of eternal torture. Nasty.

    Keep your myths out of my kid’s science classes. Keep your distorted fascination with sex out of my bedroom. My daughter’s body is hers alone; certainly not yours nor your imaginary tyrant’s. Stop lying to people about contraception and prophylactic prevention of HIV. Stop encouraging our outbreeding of the planet’s carrying capacity. Stop lying to your own children.

    That’s what’s wrong. When the religious manage to do this and more, then we won’t need to be trying to minimise the damage you are doing to everyone.

    p.s. It isn’t just Christians we scold. That’s just your self centered nature showing.

  • Anonymous

    Some people are so silly. When will they realize that Only Corn God can save them.

  • TMJ

    What I find totally ironic here is that Muslims believe the Qur’an is the verbatim word of god as given to Mohammad by the angel Cabriel.  Therefore, the Qur’an is much much closer to being the actual word of god than the Bible could ever pretend to be.

  • Anonymous-Sam

    Because the Bible is the reason we have countries in the here and now where women can be stoned to death for the crime of being raped, or for refusing to be forced to marry their rapist.

  • Tim Rosenfeldt

    If you mean like busting open a bottle of champagne and spraying it around after a win, that’s really weird.

  • amycaswell

    I don’t know. This still doesn’t beat the guy at the rally who said,”The Bible is the word of god,” while waving a King James Version in AronRa’s face. That’s massive ignorance right there.

  • Pragmatist

    Kind of slitting your own throat to go from, “Please accept my alternate viewpoint” to “We’re gonna take you down.” This militant Atheism movement may be biting off more than it can chew, but time will tell. Not very healthy, civil, or pragmatic. Good luck on all that. If you want to use incendiary language and turn this thing into a REAL war with the nutjobs you lambaste…well, it may be more unsafe to be an Atheist in the next few years. Thanks for making the world a more dangerous place to be a rational person. Just sayin…

  • Wait, have to correct you there.  Women aren’t stoned for refusing to marry their rapist.  Silly Sam, a woman can’t  refuse to marry her rapist! No, a woman’s only choice is that she can commit suicide.  After which, of course, she burns in hell forever.

    http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/17/world/africa/morocco-child-rape/index.html 

  • I’m enjoying the irony, here.

  • I suppose God himself is his own impossible story though. There’s a big one right there.

  • Anonymous

     What you mistakenly see as “hatemongering”, I see as long overdue, necessary speaking-out-against thousands of years of abhorrent behaviors that have the Christian bible and its sycophants as their catalyst.  
    It is certainly time to speak out against those awful behaviors/mindsets and to stand up for what is right, derived from nothing more than the goodness of people and their capability of doing what is right simply because it is the right thing to do.
    THAT is what is “wrong” with me.

  • Anonymous

    This was just a delusional nut telling another delusional nut that they are a delusional nut. Is all their thinking circular?

  • FSq

    “Just sayin…”

    Two things:

    a) You are not “Just sayin…” you are trying to make a point but waffling at the end. Stand up. Be counted and just make your point without the retarded qualifier. 

    b) your point is dumb.

  • FSq

    Two things:

    a) Because you make it so easy.

    b) We aren’t “hate mongering”. We are pointing out the obvious lunacy of the beliefs and myths. And you need to learn the difference between criticism and persecution. Believe it or not, there is a huge difference, and we are pointing out your errors, i.e., criticizing. 

  • Finally, someone else gets it! I had a really annoying debate with this guy (on both my blog and Frank Turek’s of Crossexamined.org) awhile back….he’s very good at just completely ignoring challenges to his arguments….not the brightest crayon in the box.

  • Edmond

    Was Jonathan McLatchie “hatemongering” on Muslims?  We are only saying the same thing that he was saying, with one word changed.  He denies these claims about the Qur’an.  We deny them about the bible, and in fact about ANY religious scripture on Earth.

    We are not “hatemongering”.  We are asking theists to be as objective about their own religion as they are about others.

  • Pragmatist

     Wasn’t the point obvious?!??! Becoming the obnoxious, in-your-face fucktards who try to shove their beliefs down people’s throats hurts the cause of Atheists, not helps. Was that clear enough you moron?

  • Pragmatist

     Here’s a great piece on Atheist Activism…about says it all.

  • I think some people mistake “don’t be an obnoxious, in-your-face fucktard dick” with “bend over and take it”.

    Staying silent while someone spouts off ridiculous fairy tales which include a a whole host of things all people must do or not do is bending over and taking it.

  • Anonymous-Sam

     Context is for people who have functional internal organs! I’m being discriminated against! *Flails*

  • Anonymous-Sam

    “In other news, Christian religious scholars have concluded that the Jewish Torah is filled with inaccuracies and cannot possibly be even the slightest bit true, and have upheld the Old Testament as God’s Divine Word…”

  • Sanderson0002

    Friendly Atheist: “Hate to break this to you” but citing Wikipedia is not an argument.