This Needs a Caption October 15, 2011

This Needs a Caption

Apparently, Kirk Cameron‘s birthday is a depressing occasion.

(via Buzzfeed — Thanks to everyone for the link!)

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  • Heartfout

    Really? This seems like a dick move…

  • Vix

    Notice the two women standing well back. It’s obviously an exploding cake with a dinosaur fossil in the middle!

  • Martha always felt Left Behind at the office Birthday parties.

  • They’re all depressed because they knew they should’ve gone to Jesus’ Birthday party.

  • Thomas Farrell

    I’m with heartfout. I don’t know what the story behind this picture is, but somebody having a depressing birthday is not something I want to make fun of, particularly since I’ve had enough of them of my own.

  • Bob Becker

    Sorry but I flat out don’t get it.   ???

  • The women were punished for having uncovered heads in church by getting their $5 footlongs LAST.

  • Cameron is a former teenage television star who is convinced that his particular brand of Christianity is correct. He’s an arrogant and obnoxious individual who has teamed up with Ray Comfort (the man who infamously claimed that the banana was the atheist’s nightmare and then only after being thoroughly mocked tried to claim that he had meant it as a joke.) Cameron is absolute certain that he’s correct and that he needs to impose his views on everyone.

    Given all of this, some people apparently don’t mind seeing that his beliefs and behavior have paid off in real-world dividends. 

    But yes, I can see how this could be a bit depressing and maybe not so much funny as it is mean. I don’t want Kirk Cameron to suffer as much as I want to him to just realize that he’s wrong and has been a douchebag for the last decade.  

    Edit: Actually, the link in question had a link over to where Kirk Cameron made fun of Stephen Hawking, claimed that no one would care about Hawking except for his physical disability and possibly made faces that attempted mock Hawkin’s facial issues. Yeah, never mind. I’m glad he doesn’t have any friends at his birthday party.

  • Luc Leblanc

    I would really like some background regarding this picture. The whole thing reeks the thoughtlessness of someone’s birthday; a cheap cake, some fast food on the table and no decorations make the whole thing look bland.

    The most jarring part of the picture is the distance between Kirk and the two ladies in the picture. One is behind boxes while the other is outside of the room, peeking in. For a birthday party (even a frugal one), the body language is completely wrong.

  • Bob Becker

    Ah. Thanks for clearing it up for me.

  • Anonymous

    “It’s alright, honey..the cake won’t bite!”

  • Heartfout

    Also, this looks like an office party to me. Plaque on the door, boxes of files…

  • Renshia

    Hey, jesus want a sub?

  • Dear Kirk—I still want my fan letter I sent to you back in the 80’s. Yeah—just–nevermind.

  • GregFromCos

    Agreed. Seems very petty.

  • Andrew

    Woman on the Left: Okay, make a wish!

    Woman on the Right: (Get this over with.)

    Kirk: (Dear God, I wish for… a Subway sandwich.) *foooooh* (Awesome, thanks! How can those atheists say you don’t exist?)

  • Anonymous

    Is he going to eat all those sandwiches himself?
    If more people were coming wouldn’t there be more Snapples on the table?

  • I count 4 plates but only 3 people in the picture. If Kirk  Cameron were Jewish, the extra place setting might be for the Prophet Elijah. Since he’s a Christian though, it may be for Jesus… or the photographer… who might also be Jesus.

  • Coyotenose

    Reportedly the picture only looks depressing because almost everyone, 10-15 people total,  is behind and beside the photographer. They all wanted to take pics of Cameron blowing out the candles, and no one got the memo that if everyone hung back, he’d look forlorn.

    So it wasn’t actually a lonely party, but that’s got me wondering if I’m a lousy person if I hope he did have a depressing party. Half of me does, half of me doesn’t.

  • Joefubar44

    I guess celebrating the day you were born-again is only exciting for you.

  • Anonymous

    OK, but the number of drinks and subs doesn’t really fit the idea there are 13-18 people there.  Has it been confirmed that it’s really him?  It’s hard for me to tell from the angle.  If someone asked me to guess who he was, I wouldn’t know.  Maybe the fact that he’s considered a celebrity that everyone would stay so far back, but blowing out candles at birthday parties generally have much tighter circles around the table, even with half the people taking pictures.  Fans usually

    Why is the lady on the left shown against the wall, behind boxes and beside garbage cans?  Both ladies don’t look the least bit interested in the party.

    In short, the photo just doesn’t make sense.

  • Da_x

    saay, looks like my birthdays! just take away the ladies…and the cake. and there you have it. 

    but caption:
    “Woooah! i can totally see his noodly appendiges on this cake! RAmen!”

  • I am 100% okay with making fun of anything. Many of great jokes easily cross the line of decency… wherever your line is.

    This picture only looks depressing because those 2 women look depressed lol.
    Mmm… Subway.

  • deityfree

    “I wish for a banana.”

  • Coyotenose

    Heh, I can’t disagree with any of that. I think the thing was that he was at a church away from home on his birthday doing, I dunno, some banana-satan-Snapple-egg-related event or something, so they got him some stuff  for an impromptu party. Thus there was no one or next to no one there who knew him personally.

    If that was the case, I’d say they bought him several Subways so he could have his pick, maybe not realizing that they should at least make a token effort to eat with him so he’d be comfortable.

    Plus some Fundie groups are just creepy standoffish even when they try to be friendly, like the worst emotionless WASPs +1.

    … now that I look closer, that lady on the left looks like she’s about to go all The Grudge on Kirk, doesn’t she? Jesus that’s discomfiting.

  • Analyzed Atheist

    The subway sandwich fits so perfectly in the human gob = there is a god.

  • Annie

    Fireproof’s Capt. Caleb Holt impresses the church ladies by extinguishing the flame just in time.

    For those of you who feel bad about poking fun of Cameron, please go to the website for his upcoming “documentary” called Monumental.  He wants to rewrite the constitution, and use the bible as a “blueprint”. 

  • Is Elijah holding the camera?

  • Kirk opens his eyes and says, “That’s not what I meant by twelve inches of hot meat.”

    Look out! He’s gonna blow!

    This better not be devils-food.

    Kirk makes a wish and sucks the candle out.

    And to think, just a few years ago it was dangerous to expose my breath to open flame.

    See how my mouth is clearly designed for blowing?

    And thus Cameron forsook God in a pagan wishing ritual.

    Kirk was enraptured by cake and subs.  Everyone else was left behind.

    Support your weight with your hands to avoid groin pains.

    If that harlot Julie McCullough could see all this I bet she’d repent. 

    Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Cameron has neither.

    He’s smiling because he can write this off as charity and as a business expense.

    More evidence that no enjoys the smell of desperation.

  • Bob Becker

    Is this a picture worth  having been posted here?  No.  Are the circumstances of the photo worth debating, discussing, speculating on for more than half a moment?  I don’t think so.   Is this a descent into meaningless trivia?  ‘Fraid so.  Do I care, should I or anyone not his friend or family care how many people were at his office bd party?  Probably not.

    Must be a really slow news day at the Friendly Atheist. 

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the late night impromptu party seems to work the best.  Maybe as you hint, we’re peering into some weird cultural vortex, ridiculously uptight fundies and all that.

  • John Morris

    should have had a birthday clown to liven it up a little – the banana man HA!

  • Poolio

    Birthday celebrations have been a real drag at Living Waters ever since the Rapture.

  • kaileyverse

    This birthday would look depressing no matter whose it was.

  • Achess

    SMH. Uncool Hemant…

  • Ben A

    It’s okay to point out people’s faulty arguments and so forth, but I think post like this are pretty unnecessary and low.

  • “I’ll cook dinner when you stop calling me a sinner.”

  • Alexis

    Ah gee, do we really have to be here?

    Well it looks like we definitely over ordered on the food.

  • Alexis

    How long do I have to stand here before I can go back to my office and do some real work?

  • Anonymous

    Would Jesus have told the temp that the birthday lunch was starting? Would Jesus have gotten her sub order right?  Tell us Kirk? What would Jesus have done?

  • Jess

    The End of Times… Proudly sponsored by Subway.

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