FOX News Says Rick Perry’s Four-Month-Old Prayers Have Been Answered! August 15, 2011

FOX News Says Rick Perry’s Four-Month-Old Prayers Have Been Answered!

Remember back in April when Texas Governor Rick Perry told citizens to pray for rain?

Nearly four months later, FOX News is declaring the prayers to have worked! (Seriously.)

LiberalViewer calls FOX out on this and points out how the drought problem hasn’t actually gotten any better.

This is something religious people do allllll the time: Pray for something that’s very likely to happen in the future (e.g. getting better after a mild sickness, finding a parking spot, meeting someone to date, etc). Patiently wait until it happens. And then give god complete credit for it.

Perry didn’t make it rain and neither did God.

(Thanks to Ashley for the link!)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Doesn’t God have great timing?

  • So the effects of global warming may already be highly visible, and there are still deniers. On top of that, 4 months later. When corporations, potential employers, and really just about anyone else take that long to answer me, I assume that I’m not going to get an answer. I see no reason why I wouldn’t hold God to the same standards — if he existed.

  • Peggercarb

    Didn’t he just do the prayer thing last weekend, though?  I think that’s what they’re connecting to the rain.

  • That prayer rally wasn’t for rain, though…

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    Us atheist in Maine are keeping the rain to ourselves. It is pouring outside as I type this and it is supposed to rain for the better part of today as well.

    Maybe I should pray for it to stop raining but I doubt that will work.

  • Fox News: We distort, you decide!

  • Jasen Tracy

    Baal would have answered after only four days.

  • Pickle

    Um. I’m in Austin, Tx. (where Perry resides as governor) and we haven’t had any rain AT ALL.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I can take a picture of the rain in Maine if that would make you feel better. His prayers worked, just not in Teaxas.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    And then made you his slave.

  • Anonymous

    We have had a way above average rain in Chicago. Maybe his prayers worked in liberal areas. 

  • Rich Wilson
  • You gotta try to understand how hard it is for God to hit some place as small as Texas with something as hard to throw as a rainstorm. Remember he exists outside of time and space we’re told, so he’s not moving along with all the following moving things:
    The Earth is rotating at a little over 1,000 miles per hour at the equator, a little less than that up in Texas. About  23 1/2  degrees in another direction, the Earth is hurtling around the sun at about 66,631 mph. The sun and the Earth along with it are zooming in a completely different direction around the Milky Way Galaxy at roughly 559,234 mph. Our galaxy is moving relative to local space at 1,409,270 mph, but it gets hard to measure the speed against something because space itself in our neck of the woods is expanding in every direction all at once like a giant  four-dimensional loaf of rising raisin bread at 2,163,117 mph or so, recklessly disregarding all posted speed limits.  Add to that the problem that time is as elastic as space, squishing down in places near strong gravity fields, so it’s understandable that the timing of his windup and pitch might be delayed, as well as the aim way, way off.

    All this might help explain why God is the worst shot in the universe. Some people wanted a little rain in China, but he over did it by drowning two and a half million Chinese in floods in 1931. He felt kinda bad about that, so he tried to dry them out and in another case of too much too late, the drought of 1941 killed another three million Chinese. 

    His marksmanship isn’t any better when he actually wants to kill somebody. In 2004 he wanted, we’re told by more than one Imam, to bump off a few not-pious-enough sinners scattered around Indonesia and India,  but he ended up drowning 230,210 people in a tsunami, many of  whom were children. Oh well, kids are never pious enough anyway.

    I think all he wanted to do last March was to expand the Pacific Ocean by a few feet in his Plate Tectonics Project, but in doing so the bungling oaf slaughtered 20,364 Japanese, counted as of today.

    So I think the very last thing anyone should ever do is to pray for rain. Texas got off easy if all their prayers did was just to flood out dozens of towns along the Mississippi River.

    Whew! Dodged a bullet.

  • Drakk

    Richard, you are brilliant.

  • God works in mysterious ways… except that He always ends up working in accordance to the laws of nature with the same outcome as if He didn’t even exist.  Funny the way that works.  Quite mysterious.

  • Tom

    Hey, some people are into that.  I won’t judge.

  • Tom

    Is it mainly on the plain?  Or is that in Spain?

  • Kevin S.

    If Rick Perry wanted to make it rain, he should have gone to Pacman Jones instead.

  • T-Rex

    FAUX never said directly that rain was the result of Rick Perry’s prayers. She just said a lot of people have been praying for rain and that their prayers are answered. C’mon, this is grasping at straws. I dislike FAUX news as much as the next rational person, but this is a non story IMO and whoever made this video surely has an agenda. Sorry, but this story is not worthy of attention by anyone. 

  • Nena

    I saw a church sign that said “God answers every prayer: Yes, No, or Wait.”

    Um. So when you pray, it either will happen, it won’t happen, or it will happen later…way to prove someone is hearing your prayers.

  • I’m guessing they didn’t have room on the sign to include “reply hazy, try again” and “better not tell you now”.

  • Anonymous

    I’m right down the road from you in San Antonio and we had rain.On one day. For about 15 minutes.

  • Conspirator

    But her comments were made directly after a Perry story.  It’s very easy to see the link there.  

  • Kevin S.

    Saying the prayers were answered, as opposed to the weather patterns finally getting around to dumping water on America’s Quebec, is unnecessarily ascribing a supernatural explanation to a natural phenomenon.

  • GentleGiant

    Harris Faulkner according to a quick google search.

  • Rich Wilson

    Quebec?  Not Alberta?

  • Pickle

    Actually Austin is liberal. We just get drowned out by the rest of the state. =)

  • Pickle

    Oh, I lied. I just remembered about a month or 2 ago we did get a light shower. That lasted only a few minutes as well.

  • Pickle

    That would just make me really jealous. =)

  • Anonymous

    Did it scare you? It scared the hell out of me.

  • Kevin S.

    Isn’t Quebec the province that keeps bleating about secession while the rest of the country rolls its collective eyes and says “don’t let us stop you?”

  • True, that one was to fix a messed up economy. Soooo four months from now, we should be golden… right?

  • That’s such an amazing coincidence. Every year around August, when the heat really starts bearing down, I say a little dirty atheist prayer for snow. I tend to get that on about a four month delay, too.

  • Rich Wilson

    Oh, that.  It’s not a connection I made.  Alberta is commonly described as Canada’s TX.  Most conservative province, lots of oil and cows.

    And factor in Texas’s love of English and fear of Spanish, with Quebec’s love of French and fear of English.

    Let’s just say that most Quebecois would be swearing at you loudly in French 🙂

  • arithmoquine

    This story reminds me of joke about Native American rain dances (if this ever was a real practice).  Do you know how to make sure a rain dance is effective?  Just keep dancing until it rains.

  • Gibbon

    I guess they’re not familiar with what Steve Allen once said:

    If you pray for
    rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to
    abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.

  • Michael Gibb

    They’re obviously not familiar with what Steve Allen once said:

    “If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.”

  • Pchagala

    Don’t worry, Mr. Perry, now it’s hurricane season. You’re sure to get the rain you asked for!

  • Apostateapostle

    This is a black eye for Christianity. God won’t make it rain any more than he will heal amputees.

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