FOX News Says Rick Perry’s Four-Month-Old Prayers Have Been Answered!

Doesn’t God have great timing?

Didn’t he just do the prayer thing last weekend, though?  I think that’s what they’re connecting to the rain.

Us atheist in Maine are keeping the rain to ourselves. It is pouring outside as I type this and it is supposed to rain for the better part of today as well.

Maybe I should pray for it to stop raining but I doubt that will work.

Baal would have answered after only four days.

I can take a picture of the rain in Maine if that would make you feel better. His prayers worked, just not in Teaxas.

We have had a way above average rain in Chicago. Maybe his prayers worked in liberal areas. 

You gotta try to understand how hard it is for God to hit some place as small as Texas with something as hard to throw as a rainstorm. Remember he exists outside of time and space we’re told, so he’s not moving along with all the following moving things:
 
The Earth is rotating at a little over 1,000 miles per hour at the equator, a little less than that up in Texas. About  23 1/2  degrees in another direction, the Earth is hurtling around the sun at about 66,631 mph. The sun and the Earth along with it are zooming in a completely different direction around the Milky Way Galaxy at roughly 559,234 mph. Our galaxy is moving relative to local space at 1,409,270 mph, but it gets hard to measure the speed against something because space itself in our neck of the woods is expanding in every direction all at once like a giant  four-dimensional loaf of rising raisin bread at 2,163,117 mph or so, recklessly disregarding all posted speed limits.  Add to that the problem that time is as elastic as space, squishing down in places near strong gravity fields, so it’s understandable that the timing of his windup and pitch might be delayed, as well as the aim way, way off.

All this might help explain why God is the worst shot in the universe. Some people wanted a little rain in China, but he over did it by drowning two and a half million Chinese in floods in 1931. He felt kinda bad about that, so he tried to dry them out and in another case of too much too late, the drought of 1941 killed another three million Chinese. 

His marksmanship isn’t any better when he actually wants to kill somebody. In 2004 he wanted, we’re told by more than one Imam, to bump off a few not-pious-enough sinners scattered around Indonesia and India,  but he ended up drowning 230,210 people in a tsunami, many of  whom were children. Oh well, kids are never pious enough anyway.

I think all he wanted to do last March was to expand the Pacific Ocean by a few feet in his Plate Tectonics Project, but in doing so the bungling oaf slaughtered 20,364 Japanese, counted as of today.

So I think the very last thing anyone should ever do is to pray for rain. Texas got off easy if all their prayers did was just to flood out dozens of towns along the Mississippi River.

Whew! Dodged a bullet.

God works in mysterious ways… except that He always ends up working in accordance to the laws of nature with the same outcome as if He didn’t even exist.  Funny the way that works.  Quite mysterious.

Is it mainly on the plain?  Or is that in Spain?

FAUX never said directly that rain was the result of Rick Perry’s prayers. She just said a lot of people have been praying for rain and that their prayers are answered. C’mon, this is grasping at straws. I dislike FAUX news as much as the next rational person, but this is a non story IMO and whoever made this video surely has an agenda. Sorry, but this story is not worthy of attention by anyone. 

I’m guessing they didn’t have room on the sign to include “reply hazy, try again” and “better not tell you now”.

But her comments were made directly after a Perry story.  It’s very easy to see the link there.  

Harris Faulkner according to a quick google search.

Actually Austin is liberal. We just get drowned out by the rest of the state. =)

That would just make me really jealous. =)

Isn’t Quebec the province that keeps bleating about secession while the rest of the country rolls its collective eyes and says “don’t let us stop you?”

That’s such an amazing coincidence. Every year around August, when the heat really starts bearing down, I say a little dirty atheist prayer for snow. I tend to get that on about a four month delay, too.

This story reminds me of joke about Native American rain dances (if this ever was a real practice).  Do you know how to make sure a rain dance is effective?  Just keep dancing until it rains.

They’re obviously not familiar with what Steve Allen once said:

“If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.”

This is a black eye for Christianity. God won’t make it rain any more than he will heal amputees.