Does This Colander Make My Head Look Fat? July 14, 2011

Does This Colander Make My Head Look Fat?

By Hemant Mehta
July 14, 2011

Niko Alm seems thrilled that Austrian officials gave him the green light to wear a colander, the official headwear for Pastafarians, in his driver’s license picture. It’s only fair — they allow for other religious head covering as well:

“Today I was able to get my new driving license, and in it you can clearly see that I’m wearing a colander on my head to demonstrate my allegiance to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” Alm wrote in his blog, adding “My headwear has now been recognized by the Republic of Austria.”

You can read a translated version of his own blog posts about the experience here.

For some reason, though, Alm had to undergo a psychological evaluation to gauge his sanity. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have done that for an Orthodox Jewish man or a Muslim woman…

Altogether, it took him three years from start to finish to get that image on his license. (Local officials say the license was ready in 2009. Alm just never picked it up.)

I haven’t figured out if Alm is serious or just trying to make a mockery of the religious headgear exception. Either way, I tried it myself.

I just feel silly…

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  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • That’s because that’s not a colander, it’s a sieve. 

  • It’s very becoming, Hemant. Gives you that devil-may-care, pasta-chef-about-town look. (Although you look a little drained in that picture. Must be the stress of moving the site.) Also, if you’re ever afflicted with paranoid schizophrenia, it’s much more stylish than tinfoil, but it will still protect you from the thought projections of the Mingettes of Little Mongo.

    Ptah. Why is there hair in my spaghetti?

  • It’s very becoming, Hemant. Gives you that devil-may-care, pasta-chef-about-town look. (Although you look a little drained in that picture. Must be the stress of moving the site.) Also, if you’re ever afflicted with paranoid schizophrenia, it’s much more stylish than tinfoil, but it will still protect you from the thought projections of the Mingettes of Little Mongo.

    Ptah. Why is there hair in my spaghetti?

  • It’s very becoming, Hemant. Gives you that devil-may-care, pasta-chef-about-town look. (Although you look a little drained in that picture. Must be the stress of moving the site.) Also, if you’re ever afflicted with paranoid schizophrenia, it’s much more stylish than tinfoil, but it will still protect you from the thought projections of the Mingettes of Little Mongo.

    Ptah. Why is there hair in my spaghetti?

  • It’s very becoming, Hemant. Gives you that devil-may-care, pasta-chef-about-town look. (Although you look a little drained in that picture. Must be the stress of moving the site.) Also, if you’re ever afflicted with paranoid schizophrenia, it’s much more stylish than tinfoil, but it will still protect you from the thought projections of the Mingettes of Little Mongo.

    Ptah. Why is there hair in my spaghetti?

  • Anonymous

    Very stylin’.

  • Anonymous

    Very stylin’.

  • Anonymous

    Very stylin’.

  • Anonymous

    Very stylin’.

  • Anonymous

    Very stylin’.

  • For some reason, though, Alm had to undergo a psychological evaluation to gauge his sanity. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have done that for an Orthodox Jewish man or a Muslim woman…

    They already have the diagnosis for those.

  • For some reason, though, Alm had to undergo a psychological evaluation to gauge his sanity. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have done that for an Orthodox Jewish man or a Muslim woman…

    They already have the diagnosis for those.

  • For some reason, though, Alm had to undergo a psychological evaluation to gauge his sanity. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have done that for an Orthodox Jewish man or a Muslim woman…

    They already have the diagnosis for those.

  • For some reason, though, Alm had to undergo a psychological evaluation to gauge his sanity. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have done that for an Orthodox Jewish man or a Muslim woman…

    They already have the diagnosis for those.

  • Mary

    Luvin it.

  • Mary

    Luvin it.

  • Mary

    Luvin it.

  • Mary

    Luvin it.

  • Northlander

    Plus it’ll keep the government from reading your thoughts.

  • Northlander

    Plus it’ll keep the government from reading your thoughts.

  • Someone smarter than I pointed out that the proper headgear should be a pirate hat, anyway.

  • Someone smarter than I pointed out that the proper headgear should be a pirate hat, anyway.

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • Erin W

    Looks silly, too, but hey, if we can’t be a little silly, life wouldn’t be worth it.  🙂

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • HTL

    Are there different pastafarian sects now?

  • Trace

    I actually think you look quite dignified.

  • Anonymous

    Wouldn’t you love to be there the first time a police officer or airport security asks him for ID. I can see the thought bubble now:

    “OK so it looks like the picture matches the face…wait, huh? What the &%$# is that? It looks like a…but that can’t be!”

  • Anonymous

    Wouldn’t you love to be there the first time a police officer or airport security asks him for ID. I can see the thought bubble now:

    “OK so it looks like the picture matches the face…wait, huh? What the &%$# is that? It looks like a…but that can’t be!”

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Michael

    There have been different pastafarian sects for a long time. I remember the reformed pastafarians being anti-seatbelt because seatbelts encourage people to drive unsafely.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Don’t tell hoverfrog.  He is from a different sect.

  • Joe G

    This guy is hilarious. Well done, sir.

  • Steve

    It’s quite subtle too. Could be mistaken for Jewish or Muslim headgear

  • Joshua Fisher

    Pastafarian Mexi-gay. Well done, sir!

  • Makes you look like that dude from One Piece.

  • Makes you look like that dude from One Piece.

  • Makes you look like that dude from One Piece.

  • Makes you look like that dude from One Piece.

  • Makes you look like that dude from One Piece.

  • Anonymous

    The ID picture is harmless. Could easily be mistaken for Jewish or Muslim headgear

  • “I haven’t figured out if Alm is serious or just trying to make a mockery of the religious headgear exception.”

    It can’t be both?

  • Hitch

    Your picture is way too serious for an ID.

  • Hitch

    Your picture is way too serious for an ID.

  • “A little drained”  hardee-har. 🙂

  • Renshia

    Thank god for gravity. You would have fell right through!

    Love the change Hemant.

    (Formally Richard P.)

  • Renshia

    That’s only for American pirates. Austrian pirates were not as sophisticated as the 
    American ones.

  • Anonymous

    I kind of dig your new look, Hemant. Gives you that kitchen-safari pith helmet chic.  Your expression is priceless too.

    cassiek

  • Jeff Ritter

    Isn’t there also a white-sauce and no meat branch as well?

  • Drakk

    I call for this picture to replace the smiling Mexigay(tm) in the top banner.

  • gsw

    and this from an authority that rejects a passport photo which shows your teeth! 

  • Venture Free

    That photo of Hemant plays a weird trick on my eyes. Something about the proportions make his eyes look really big to me. Like human/alien hybrid big. It’s not unpleasant, just odd.

  • Anonymous

    looks like an army helmet

  • Santiago

    It’ll still be hilarious when someone inevitably remarks on his “Jewish/Muslim” headgear and gets to hear The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

  • Anonymous

    Damn straight.

  • Anonymous

    This summer anybody who is anybody will be wearing kitchen utensils and appliances.  Colanders are the new black.  They go well with the eye patch too.

    Of course the original Flash has been wearing one for decades.

  • I think Hemant needs to collect photos of pastafarians wearing collanders for a future post.

  • Guest

    he is “serious”, there is a link to a petition for a referendum against the church privileges, titled “no state within a state”. Well done! I am considering doing the same next time I need a passport picture.

  • Guest

    PS: love the headgear Hermant, I second the call for replacing the top picture with this one! 

  • So.. is this guy going to be consistent with his claim? Or is he merely a nominal / cultural Pastafarian, who only follows the requirements when it suits him?

  • For a selection of good apples for making sauce, see All About Apples – Choosing the Best Apple. Using a couple of different varieties will produce an applesauce with great flavor.