I think I’d be fine leading my classes in this version of the Pledge of Allegiance (courtesy of The Whitest Kids U’ Know):
I pledge allegiance
To the flag
Of the United States of America
Thank you very, very much for letting us little kids live here.
It really, really was nice of you.
You didn’t have to do it.
And it’s really not freaky that us little, little kids
Mindlessly recite this anthem
Every day
And pledge their life to a government
Before they’re old enough to really think about what they’re saying.
This is not a form of brainwashing.
This is not a form of brainwashing.
This is not a form of brainwashing.
This is really the greatest country in the whole world.
All the other countries suck.
And if this country ever goes to war,
As it’s often wont to do,
I promise to help go and kill all the other countries’ kids.
God bless Johnson & Johnson.
God bless GE.
God bless Citigroup.
Amen.
(via Cynical-C)
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