I was looking at my bookshelf last night when I came across a Bible (I have several…) that I hadn’t seen in a long time. And I remember writing about it on this site years ago, but I don’t think most of you were reading this site back then…
So I’m going to plagiarize myself.
Here’s the background: Around the time I was writing I Sold My Soul on eBay, a Christian who was fed up with the way other Christians evangelized sent me a Bible he had. It was a special edition — designed to help Christians proselytize to other people.
In the back of the book was a page explaining how to share the Bible… It had *very* specific instructions:

Don’t let these instructions intimidate you. They are simple to follow. Get your pen, a colorful highlighter, and mark your sharing Bible/New Testament as follows:
- In the front of your Bible, write the page number ** of Romans 3:23.
- Highlight Romans 3:23
- Write the page number ** of Romans 6:23 in the top margin. Since I usually sit across from the person with whom I am sharing, I turn the Bible around to face him. In this same manner, with the Bible facing away from you, write the notes in the top margin (now the margin nearest you). This way, while your friend reads the Scripture aloud, you can read your “upside-down” notes.
[Hemant’s note: Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”]
- Highlight Romans 6:23 and write the page number ** of John 3:3 in the margin.*
- Circle the word sin.
- Underline the word death.
- Write the word hell over the word death.
- Underline the word in.
- Highlight John 3:3 and write the page number ** of John 14:6 in the margin.*
- Draw a cross and an X next to John 3:3.
- Highlight John 14:6 and write the page number ** of Romans 10:9-11 in the margin.*
- Highlight Romans 10:9-11 and write the page number ** of 2 Corinthians 5:15 in the margin.*
- Highlight 2 Corinthians 5:15 and write the page number ** of Revelation 3:20 in the margin.*
- Highlight Revelation 3:20.
* Don’t forget to turn your Bible around to write your notes in the (top) margin nearest you.
** You may write the page number and/or the Scripture reference.
But that wasn’t even the best part. When you turned the page, it gave you a giant bulletpointed list of how to respond to people who will object to your proselytizing.
For example… what happens when you point out all the contradictions in the Bible?

That’s it. That’s all the conversation it takes.
But the best one, by far, was the following:

5. I’m having too much fun.
YOU:
- Why?
- (Echo back what your friend answers. Example:) In other words, you are into the party scene– sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
- According to this, when you die, where are you going?
- Drive carefully. (or) Have a nice day.
- (If he answers, “hell,” with fear and trembling) Are you ready to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior?
As I wrote then:
First of all, who still considers “rock and roll” a sin? Is rock and roll even in existence anymore…?
Second, “Drive carefully”??? I’m a bit upset that the converter gives up so easily! I would think this person has some tenacity. They did circle “sin” after all.
Third, if anyone is “trembling with fear” after the mere question, “According to this, when you die, where are you going?” their non-Christian beliefs probably aren’t very strong in the first place… it’s like picking low hanging fruit. Is this the type of person any religion wants?
…
Do any of you have really entertaining Bibles? Because now, I want to collect these.