Christian Beach Towel April 27, 2011

Christian Beach Towel

It’s amazing they don’t actually make these. You could proselytize without even getting up!

From the book This Is a Book by Demetri Martin. Copyright © 2011 by Demetri Martin. Reprinted by permission of Grand Central Publishing. All rights reserved.

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  • Freemage

    Okay, so at the top of this page, there’s a banner ad to a company called Not Of This World Clothing–they do metal-style shirts, but with a heavy-handed Christian theme. Most of them are simply silly, though a few are a bit more dubious or strident… but at the top of their line, they currently have a white shirt with a big red circle (ala the Japanese flag), but with superimposed prayer-hands on it, and the kanjii character for “Pray”.

    Here’s the text from the shirt’s product page:

    Dear Friend,

    Japan’s devastating earthquakes and tsunami have left thousands of people in both great physical and spiritual need. While tragic, this may be the greatest opportunity ever to share the gospel of grace and truth found only through Jesus Christ with the people of Japan. Did you know that less than 1% of the Japanese population is Christian (Catholic/Protestant)? There is an evangelical Christian organization called CRASH (Christian Relief, Assistance, Support and Hope) that deals with such disaster relief efforts. With every “Save Japan” shirt you purchase, we will donate $10 to CRASH. We must help those going through difficult times by attending to their temporary needs, as well as their eternal needs. “…‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ” Matthew 25:40 Where our souls spend eternity is most important and CRASH will share the gospel with them in Jesus’ name 🙂

    In His Grace,

    Aurelio F. Barreto III, C28 FOUNDER & CEO

    Hemant, I know you probably don’t have much control over which banner ads come up in the rotation. I still remember with amusement the one from Buca di Beppa for Catholic confirmation parties. But this explitation of the tragedy in Japan is… vile. Disgusting, even. Is there any way you can get a specific ad pulled?

  • Seconded, Freemage. Mine’s showing an ad for holidays to Israel, which somehow manage to miss out the giant fucking bomb craters, but that one sounds absolutely sickening.

  • stellaluna

    funny my banner ads are how to become a military chaplain… i think it’s a conspiracy against us 😉

  • Nice! The armpits will get tanned. 🙂

  • Freemage

    Stellaluna: Well, it’s Googleads–they see the word “atheist” and pretty much throw up any ad relating to religion. It is amusing, though.

  • Jesus

    I ALWAYS get Jos. A Bank ads or some business clothing company and have never once seen the things that everyone complains about, but that’s probably because they know I buy men’s professional-wear online through some cookies in my browser or something. Maybe all of you should stop shopping for Christian things…

  • Drew M.

    What are banner ads?

  • Roxane

    They might not have to get up to proselytize, but they’ll look pretty funny when they turn over.

  • Ben

    Do they come with nails?

  • sue

    I kind of want one. It looks rather practical – I wouldn’t have to worry about getting sandy elbows if I lie on my back reading a book.

  • Danish Atheist

    My banner ad today is “Learn biblical hebrew online with the holy lands best teachers”.

    A couple of month ago it was enthusiastically prompting me to meet nice muslim girls. There was appearantly a whole bunch to pick from. But much as I enjoy looking at pretty girls, I am an overall hetero woman … and happily married.

    Like the towel, though … so subtle!!

  • For those complaining about the banner ads:

    Firefox, with the AdBlock Plus and NoScript plugins.

  • Ben beat me to it. Does it come with nails?

  • I recently purchased (online) a Pandora bracelet and charms for my wife…so guess what banner ad pops up? That’s right, Pandora jewelry ads.
    Depending on your individual browser settings these ads can be the direct result of where you, the individual user have been surfing.
    On topic, the cartoon reminds me of something the Naked Pastor might draw.

  • Ubi Dubium

    Yes, I also immediately checked to see if this was from Naked Pastor, and I was surprised when it wasn’t.

  • Mike

    i’m a christian and find this pretty funny. i am surprised someone hasn’t thought of this.

  • Wow. That’s really juvenile.

  • Freemage

    I’m aware that the banner ads in general can be blocked, for all those recommending that option. However, that reduces Hemant’s revenue, as I understand it. I’d rather that this one very specific and offensive ad be cut from the roster.

  • I came here by googling my name

    That’s a really nice thing to find. Gave me a good chuckle.