The Christian Rebecca Black

What’s worse than Rebecca Black‘s “Friday” video?

The Christian version of it… called “Sunday” (of course).

… and the church that made it is located only miles from where I live.

*Double face p(s)alm*

…

You know you want the lyrics… (I tried to transcribe it. My fault if there are any errors)

Eight a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be sharp, gotta do my hair
Can’t find a bowl, no time for cereal
End of the weekend, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody rushin’
Gonna go to church at the stop
Can’t forget my Bible, God is my friend

Mom is in the front seat
Gettin’ in the back seat
Gotta make our minds up
Which service will we make?

It’s Sunday, Sunday
Head to church on Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the Easter weekend
Sunday, Sunday
Celebratin’ Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ to the Easter weekend

Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
1, 2, 3Cs
Lookin’ forward to community

9:30, we’re steppin’ into service
Music, message, don’t want tons of flack
Fun, fun, church can be fun
You know that it is
I got this, you got this
Communion by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Offering bag

Kickin’ in the front pew
Sittin’ in the back pew
Gotta make my mind up
Which row will we take?

It’s Sunday, Sunday
Head to church on Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the Easter weekend
Sunday, Sunday
Celebratin’ Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ to the Easter weekend

Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
1, 2, 3Cs
Lookin’ forward to community

[???] Thursday, Thursday
And the Go-od Friday, Friday
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We know Jesus is alive today

Yesterday was Saturday
And Monday comes after… church
I don’t want this service to end

Yeah, Yeah, Hey Sadie B.,
It’s your main homeboys BP and Master E.
I’m chillin’ in the front seat
I’m ridin’ shotgun, BP’s drivin’
We’re goin’ to church on Saturday night (Ho!)
Tomorrow is Easter

Oh look, there’s a tree and a firetruck
And another car. That car is orange!
Nothing rhymes with orange!
Let’s go to church.
It’s Easter weekend, come on, come on!

It’s Sunday, Sunday
Head to church on Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the Easter weekend
Sunday, Sunday
Celebratin’ Sunday
Everybody’s lookin’ to the Easter weekend

Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
Worshippin’, Worshippin’ (Yeah)
1, 2, 3Cs
Lookin’ forward to community

(via Christian Nightmares)

Reverend Red Mage

I cringe.
…but it’s still better than Bieber.
Adam

definite facepsalm
Vicor

You’ve watched it, you can’t un-watch it!
Liz

I love how it was made by the Noah “Music” Factory. It gives me some hope that maybe they’re aware of how much it sucks.
chris

My head hurts. That was terrible. I hate auto-tune. Is something wrong with her mouth?

Ok, I shouldn’t be so critical of a misguided 9-year old. Sorry.
fett101

The penciled look at the beginning is one of the most frightening things I have seen lately.
John

Ugh, that’s the church I used to go to before I became an atheist.
Zoe

I will never get back that minute and a half of my life before I gave in to my instincts and threw the laptop at the wall.
Dustin

Just showed this too my wife, and she couldn’t watch past 1:00. Hahaha!
Cate

…oh. oh my. Clearly that girl had fun making that, and props to her for being brave enough to put her (heavily auto tuned) voice out there, but really? Just….really??
Justin Miyundees

That is so sweet!

Like puking Mai Tai through your nostrils.
venus

ugh barf
Tony

Brian Haner made a better parody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkG0AkIsgFw
jp

Please, just shoot me now.
NotYou007

I made it a tad over a minute before I had to hit the pause button.

Tony thanks for that link. I saved it for later. Watched some of it which helped get rid of the hurt in my brain.
AJ

@Dustin

I made it to EXACTLY 1:00 lol

I saw your comment, and went and checked when I stopped it, and it was 1:00, so funny!
Poyndexter

Thank god Jesus isn’t alive to see this.
Daley

…
all I can do is cover my face
…
NoYourGod

Holy f****ng s**t, that was bad.
dwasifar

Apparently, if you can live your life believing in an imaginary god in an imaginary heaven, it’s not a stretch to believe in an imaginary back seat in a Honda S2000.
Alt+3

Ha ha ha. Yay.
I love the Internet.

You didn’t see stuff like this in the eighties.
GigiAUT

I think Fly Like Jesus was better. I was having breakfast and I actually stopped eating while I watched this…I was just frozen in disgust.
Robin

The guys in the car had me cracking up. One of the first things I noticed was she has on the right outfit for a 9:30 service: capris and a jean jacket.
Dan W

Ugh, the original is bad enough! The Internet does not need a crappy christian parody of an already crappy song.
Zero

Don’t worry, the Darwin award will kick in. Seat-belts anyone?
Sakura

…I’m not even going to play the video cause of how horrible it seems before even playing it or reading anyone’s comments…to those that have watched it, I wish I could provide you some ear and brain bleach
ME

I have to agree with fett101. The intro sketch is unflattering. Other than that, whenever adults attempt to recruit kids by trying to appear hip, messes such as this pop up.
Fred

3 minutes… 21 seconds.. gone forever…
But I would disagree with Dan … The internet needs a LOT of crappy christian anything (including crappy songs). Makes you appreciate yourself a lot more.
«bønez_brigade»

Jesus Fucking Christ, that was awful.
WMDKitty

The really sad thing is, this is better than the original.
Alan

I think they actually proved that God does not exist…because no just God would allow this.
Matt H

@Tony
Now *that’s* funny. It helped me forget that Christian video travesty a bit. Thanks for posting.
OverlapingMagisteria

Hemant, you are not helping! You are reinforcing the stereotype that atheists are cruel, heartless people by subjecting us to this!
Darwin’s Dagger

It was better than the original. One expects Christian music to be that crappy anyway.
Brick Window

Alt+3 said

Ha ha ha. Yay.
I love the Internet.

You didn’t see stuff like this in the eighties

Best comment ever.
holytape

While I hold nothing against the girl in the video, or Rebecca Black, I do believe that the adults responsible for both song should be tortured while being recorded. Autotune their screams of agony, loop it and set it to an annoying routine hip-hop beat. Then force those adults to listen to it for the rest of their lives.
stogoe

[???] Thursday, Thursday

I wasn’t allowed to watch the video at work (for which I am grateful this one time), but from context I think it’s probably Maundy Thursday. No, I don’t know what that word means. I’m not sure anyone does. For all I know it just means “The day before Good Friday”.
The Big Blue Frog

Riding on the folded top of a convertible like that is illegal, I do believe. In any case, it’s not safe.
Sarah

My favorite YouTube comment on this video:

This video just made me an atheist.
JSavek

Auto-tune is the antiChrist. It has officially ruined more lives than religion.
CanadianNihilist

That was so bad it gave me cancer!
hoverfrog

Why have they made her sound like a Dalek?

Is this how Katy Perry started out?
Miko

Weren’t their black people in the original version of that? Oh, right: the Christian parody tried to “clean it up a bit.” Never mind then.
TheSecretAtheist

Made it to 1:18, which is about as far as I made it through the original version, too.

Then my brain used a rusty spoon to dig its way out of my skull before it liquefied in there…
Jeebus

Fuck! You’re right Vicor, I can’t unwatch it. Just a thought Hemant, can you please post a warning with videos like this so we can get good and high or drunk before we watch it or just avoid it all together? Please? Gah!
John D

Wow… it’s better than the original. I wonder if this is some new kind of Poe where a knockoff of a song is better than the original song so you think the original song is not the original… but it is the knock off instead…. but the knock off is really bad too so you wonder if there is an actual original that is good somewhere… hmmmmmm.
FrancoAmerican

There will be fapping. Nice touch with the two old male bear-rappers and how the passenger’s hand is a dolphin.
Michelle

Because I want to be difficult and really dislike obnoxious ‘rapping’ the idea that nothing rhymes with orange is not entirely true. (thank you QI) sporange is a real if rare word and you can get more information about the rhyme here.
Hieronymus Fortesque Lickspittle

I need no further proof that religious indoctrination is child abuse!
PowerPopPat

“This video just made me an atheist” FTW!!!
webhed38

Nowhere in your rambling, incoherent response did you come close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. We are all dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may (the nonexistant)God have mercy on your soul.
rlquinn1980

I have to disagree with the comments above me. I think this made Rebecca Black’s video look good. And that is the saddest part of all.

Wait—I take that back. That this video was even made is the saddest part of all. Please excuse me while I go scrub my brain with a wire brush in an effort to forget my having seen this.
Ashley Moltzan

I have to admit this parody is better than the original and hilarious. lol. reminds me of my brother and family arguing about where to sit in church when I used to go. i never heard arguing about where to sit in a car. someone just called shotgun. But my favorite parody is Thursday by Conan. And my favorite performance of Friday is sung by Colbert and Fallon
Liz the 1st

Anyone that thinks this version is better is insane! As shitty as ‘Friday’ was, it was well produced in both audio and video. Obviously the church probably has a smaller budget, but that doesn’t change the fact that not only can this child not sing…but she just looks completely awkward trying to =/
jen

i *AM* christian and that video *IS* a nightmare.

(it’s also the only reason i watched the original rebecca black video — i needed to see what colbert had sung last week and what the original context was. i still think colbert’s version was better.)