Heterosexual Questionnaire Extraordinaire February 17, 2011

Heterosexual Questionnaire Extraordinaire

By Dr. Denise Cooper-Clarke
February 17, 2011

by Jesse Galef –

Ever thought about the silly questions that gays and lesbians get asked? What would it be like to have that turned around? Check out this fantastic job done by Ashley Paramore and Greta Christina:

The questions are from a tongue-in-cheek post by Joe Kort at Psychology Today.

What was your favorite part?

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  • Amyable atheist

    HA! Incredible and hilarious, as always for Greta Christina! I was sick for my birthday today (which as we all know, is an intolerable injustice from which I will never recover), but this just made my day! 😀

  • mouse

    Favorite bit was “disproportionate number of child molesters are heterosexual” because it’s true. And it cracks me up when fundies try to say that molesters are gay.

  • Richard Wade

    That was just great. I’m still laughing. 😀 Good work, Ashley and Greta!

  • That really was better than I expected.

  • Haha, YES. I love this.

  • It’s actually based on The Heterosexual Questionnaire, which was originally printed in 1972.

    My colleague Peterson Toscano and I discussed this in a wider conversation on heterosexual privilege last October on our podcast.

    I also adapted it into a Christian Questionnaire, which is fun since Christianity IS a choice. 😉

  • captsam

    very well done.

  • Drew M.

    Very good!

  • Jim H

    Excellent! From the questionnaire:

    Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

    Because we like it!

  • Oz Tilson

    loved it- my least favourite part was remembering seeing myself (a queer woman) saying all those things to GLBT folk when I was a fundie.

    I am so sorry!

  • Cthulhu

    It’s ok OZ the LGBT community forgives you. We understand that you were just confused and going through a phase XD

  • Tom

    My favorite part?

    Ashley =P

  • Danish Atheist

    It was VERY cool … but my fave was Greta Christinas statement at the end about how she, as a gay person, support and love her heterosexual family and friends in spite of not understanding their lifestile and choises … hahaha… that cracked me up!!

  • That was brilliant. It’s hard to choose a favourite bit, but I liked her final word a lot. I never realised how nasty that sentiment might sound – it’s good.

  • Brilliant. And so true.

    Although personally I love getting asked all these questions. It gives me a chance to educate people.

  • Claudia

    My favorite part is when Greta says “we’ve been talking about all these problems associated to the heterosexual lifestyle..”. It’s the thing about homophobes that makes me most angry: Gays are more likely to commit suicide ergo being gay is bad. They always leave out that the depression that drives gay teens to kill themselves is THE FAULT OF THE FUCKING HOMOPHOBES.

    It would be like me punching you for smiling and then saying “You see, smiling leads to injury. Smiling is bad for your health. You should really stop smiling. I’m just trying to help.”

  • I Go Pogo

    My least favorite part is the guilt I feel for once having thought these very things and argued these very points in an earlier age. Would that I could go back in time and see this video ten years ago.

  • This video is not available in your country

    WTF? Let’s us have some UK based light hearted hetero bashing. 😀

  • Daidlos

    I’m sure this is novel for people that haven’t heard it before but having been an out gay man for 10 years now this is old and tired for me. As another poster pointed out, this actually comes from 1972. I’ve heard this questionnaire at virtually every gay organization I’ve ever been involved with. I think the gay community needs some new material instead of constantly recylcing the same hackneyed pieces.

  • Jim H

    @Daidlos: I’m a 48 year old straight man, and I had never heard of it before last night. It might have been around since I was 10, but so what? Apparently I’m not the only one.

    There’s nothing wrong with getting new material, but don’t ditch an “oldie but goodie.” Heck, I still enjoy listening to, or reciting, “Casey At the Bat,” and that’s more than 100 years old.

  • Greta Christina is awesome. I love the part where Greta says that maybe Ashley just needs a good gay lover to become homosexual. It does show how absurd the argument is when it’s reversed.

    Thanks to those who provided the links to the original questionnaire!

    @Claudia: That’s one of the arguments that frustrates me, too.

  • BruceChris

    I love it! I’ve been a feminist all of my life, and a gay rights person for most. But Greta’s Militant Lesbian Therapist was awesome.