A Picture Needing a Caption January 14, 2011

A Picture Needing a Caption

The New Yorker has a weekly caption contest and one of you *has* to win this week!

The deadline is Sunday, so think fast. After you submit your caption to them, feel free to share it with us here 🙂

(Thanks to Jennifer for the link!)


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  • Joe Montoto

    You said the secret woid, so you get these 10 commandments!

  • asonge

    I wasn’t serious when I asked for moral guidance in tablet form.

  • Chandra

    Suddenly Jesus wished he had worn his squirting bowtie.

  • Take these tablets and call me in the morning.

  • david

    10,,, just 10 ? my fantasy league has more rules than this

  • Bluenightfox

    In the future you´ll have them also as an APP!

  • Raymond Dickey

    Mine was,
    “Yes, and you must also cut the ends of each other’s penises off. (snort)”

  • I entered the following:

    “Pass these around but don’t tell anyone where you got them.”

  • Humanistdad

    “Trussssst me! I really am God and thesssse are all the rulesssss you need!” -flik-

  • Britinnz

    “Hopefully this time around you understand this is just a joke”

  • Slider33

    Leviticus? Too long, didn’t read.

  • Jessica

    “You dropped this”

  • Psychedelic drugs have been around MUCH longer then the 1960s.

  • “But what is your name, Lord?”

    “You’ll never get to know my identity, where I live, what I’m doing, or anything about me specifically at all!”

  • “Read these rules and see if you can figure out if I’m God or the devil.”

  • david,

    Doesn’t the story go that the burning bush passed along 15 or 20 commandments but Moses dropped the tablets, leaving his people with only 10.

    I said burning bush.

  • Dave B

    Don’t worry about the first four. They’re just boilerplate.

  • Human, pick: truth or dare?

  • Dave B

    @asonge,

    I really hope that yours wins!

  • Adam

    “These are the results of the God look-alike contest. I won 3rd place!”

  • Jeff

    The only correct answer is “Moses: ‘What an asshole.'”

  • Richard P.

    Honest!! It’s the best recipe for schmaltz in the universe ever!!

  • Clyde

    I must ask you, God, does that nose truly come with the glasses?

  • Amelia

    Can’t you go back to the burning bush? No one’s going to believe I got these from an invisible man in the sky.

  • roxanne

    “Moses doubted God’s assurance that the 10 jokes on the stone tablets would help him get over his self-esteem issues and break into stand-up comedy.”

  • John Ueng

    Can’t find a job? Here, these are my best jokes. The name is Groucho Marx, but you can call me god.

  • Here’s what I’ve come up with for the moment. To save you another trip, though, I’ll send the rest through dreams and visions as I work them out. Thanks for coming.

  • Moses – “You can’t be serious.”
    God – “Do I look serious?”

  • Adam

    “I’m the one that beat Groucho Marx in a Groucho Marx look-alike contest.”

  • Richard Wade

    My two entries:

    “Here’s a hard copy.”

    and

    “These are just guidelines. Don’t think of them as written in stone.”

  • Mr Z

    From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
    Groucho Marx

  • My entry:

    “Remember: I was NEVER here…”

  • Michael W

    It’ll be hilarious, trust me… trust me.

  • Richard Wade

    I got one more in:

    “No this is not my face, it’s an avatar.”

  • tlawren

    “When they make a movie about this, Charlton Heston is going to play you!”

  • Carlie

    I am the great and powerful Oz.

  • TheNP

    To modify Dustin’s:

    Moses: “Surely, you can’t be serious.”
    God: “I am serious….and don’t call me Shirley”

  • Anna

    “Is that it?”

  • Bobby

    These are the commandments of the Brothers’ Marx. Observe them, keep them holy, and never let anyone who wants to follow them follow them.

  • Rollingforest

    “If anybody asks, this was written by some other God”

  • “I’ve a party coming up with that Zues fellow.. What do you think of these knock-knock jokes?”

  • Pete

    “You are just a chip off the old block my son,here happy hallucinations!”

  • Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others. – Grouch Marx

  • I wouldn’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member.

  • @VancouverMoose,

    Good one!

  • Here’s the new iTablet!

  • Sean

    “April 1st, 1400 B.C.”

  • Hal in Howell MI

    This is not the god you’re looking for.

  • Stewart

    “And who shall I say sent me?”

  • AxeGrrl

    Joe Montoto wrote:

    You said the secret woid, so you get these 10 commandments!

    Perfect! 🙂

    Though I wonder how many people get the reference 🙂

  • captsam

    [you said the secret woid, so you get these 10 commandments!] basically my exact thought when i saw it. lol

  • Adey

    An oldie
    “If they are free I’ll take ten.”

  • Benjamin Fusilli

    Welcome to You Bet Your Eternal Life.
    Say the secret Word of God, and you split a hundred dollars between your tribes.

  • Why do these all end with 😉 ?

  • You said the secret woid, so you get these 10 commandments!

    My immediate thought was more along the lines of:
    You didn’t say the secret woid but we do have this lovely parting gift for you.