So That’s Why Those Bible Study Groups Exist… January 13, 2011

So That’s Why Those Bible Study Groups Exist…

The Onion explains the real Christian agenda:

See? There *is* a good reason to read all those “begats”…

I wonder if Asian kids would rock the BATs, too…


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  • S-Y

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-majority-of-money-donated-at-church-doesnt,18765/

    (Of course, we all know that 100% of all money donated at churches never reaches God.)

  • Alex

    Love the unitarian reference. Most UUs are really Apatheists anyway.

  • edivimo

    Yes, Unitarian is the worst congregation for a bible literatist…

  • Sam

    Love the Onion article, not so much the Wall Street Journal one…pretty shameful they even put that up. This article explains better than I can:

    http://www.racialicious.com/2011/01/10/the-wall-street-journal-explains-why-chinese-mothers-are-superior/

  • Hugh

    This is a real article:

    “The Dowling Riptide Swim Team is a direct branch of the Dowling Catholic High School Swimming programs. At its core, the Riptide Swim Team has the same values as Dowling Catholic High School. It will inspire a Christ-centered love of aquatics…”

    Does that mean they learn to walk on water?

  • AnonymousSM

    Would’ve loved to have seen a “turns out we’re all BAT-crazy” or “BATshit crazy” kinda pun. =)

  • *snorgk* AAAAGH! Dammit, I just snorted cigarette smoke out my nose!

    *ouch-dance*

  • Sean Santos

    @Sam

    Thanks for that link. It described a lot of what I actually saw among Asian students with very demanding families in my high school (obviously not all students from “Asian” families had such demanding parents). There were a lot of really problematic situations, either where the kid didn’t live up to expectations, or where they did but with substantial instilled guilt, resentment, or neurotic perfectionism. Some turned out all right in the end, while others seemed to have a permanent tension between what their families wanted from them and what they ended up actually doing.

  • Bertram Cabot, Jr.

    Herman, as you admitted in a post back on July, you have moved beyond being a “friendly atheist”.

    But you continue to call your blog that, to capitalize on your earlier noteriety.

    To continue calling yourself that at this point is Intellectual Dishonesty that becomes more and more blatant as time passess.

    Deny it if you will, but this will become more and more evident.

  • I wish!

    I wish that the religious were required to know what their holy books actually say.

  • The Onion is awesome. On a serious note why do people study the Bible and what methods do they use? Do they examine it as a work of literature, as a mythology, as philosophy, as an historical document (it tells us something of the writers) or as a science book (some Christians seem to think that it is a science book). How does it work exactly?

    BTW who is Herman? Surely not that friendly looking, smiling chap on the banner?

  • Claudia

    Is it really bad that I made it all the way to “Unitarian” when I realized I was reading satire? In my defense it was the morning and I’d barely started on my coffee.

    @Sam, I read the original article. I kept hoping it was also satire, but by the time I got to that horrid womans bragging about abusing her 7 year old until she got a piano piece right, I realized she was actually being serious. Ugh.

  • Jagyr who hasn’t had breakfast yet

    Bertram Cabot Jr. –

    You’re on the wrong blog. There’s no one named “Herman” here. So kindly copulate off to someplace where someone gives a feces.

  • Greg

    AnonymousSM, you mean something like:

    “…the amount of people taking their BATs hit crazy levels last year…”

    😉

  • jose

    “I did not choose the title of the WSJ excerpt, and I don’t believe that there is only one good way of raising children. The actual book is more nuanced, and much of it is about my decision to retreat from the “strict Chinese immigrant” model.”
    Amy Chua

  • Silent Service

    I find it very friendly here so I don’t know what Cabot’s issue is.

  • lurker111

    @Claudia:

    I too read the article seriously until I got to the word “Unitarian,” and which point I thought, “Got to be _Onion_!” 😉

  • Flah the Heretic Methodist

    Nice bit of disinformation there, Onion. A KJV wouldn’t have the book of Maccabees.

  • Hoverfrog wrote:

    …On a serious note why do people study the Bible and what methods do they use? … How does it work exactly?

    My observations from listening to clergy and rank and file Christians is that they use the bible as the subject matter for engaging in the layman sport of confirmation bias. By selectively viewing and filtering both external reality and the passages in the bible, you can see and interpret only those events and passages that conform to your pre-existing biases. It is a fun and popular pastime. Note that the same passage (or external event) can be interpreted in different ways at different times to support the bias. Although it can be argued that we all do this to some degree, religion just takes this sport to its extreme.

    It should be noted that some theologians can objectively research the bible from a scholarly secular perspective. This is just not how the clergy and rank and file look at the bible.

  • Rollingforest

    Damn it! Flah beat me to it by an hour and a half! Yes 2nd Maccabees is only in Catholic and Eastern Orthodox bibles because Martin Luther didn’t think it was inspired and thus took it out of the Lutheran bible. The King James Bible is based off of the Lutheran list of books, so 2nd Maccabees would not be in there.

  • Flah the Heretic Methodist

    “By selectively viewing and filtering both external reality and the passages in the bible, you can see and interpret only those events and passages that conform to your pre-existing biases. It is a fun, popular, and ridiculously lucrative pastime.”

    Fixed it for you, Jeff P.

  • AnonymousSM

    @Greg, love it… yeah, it’s amazing that even Atheists have a better BATting average than Christians.

  • Sam

    @jose:

    Ah, now that’s certainly interesting…it really surprises me less that the WSJ would make up their own title for that article, than them putting it up at all. I’ll take Chua’s word about her book for now till I get my hands on it someday.

  • Sam

    Actually reading the entirety of the first post on that page jose linked is pretty interesting…damn WSJ.

  • @ Sean Santos:

    There were a lot of really problematic situations, either where the kid didn’t live up to expectations, or where they did but with substantial instilled guilt, resentment, or neurotic perfectionism.

    Forget Asian parents. That perfectly describes my teenage relationship with Jeebus!

  • Erp

    The original King James Bible did have 2nd Maccabees though most modern printings do not include it or the other deuterocanonical books.