Eat the Children First Plate Revoked January 6, 2011

Eat the Children First Plate Revoked

You’ve all seen this license plate before:

As an atheist, that plate is near and dear to my heart.

So you can imagine my sadness at learning that the plate was revoked by the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles because a few people found it offensive.

The owner of the plate explains what happened:

I received a second letter saying that I would then be going into a sort court hearing about it over the phone. There would be me, a DMV representative and a mediator. Long story short I had my ass handed to me and had no defense.

In the end I asked how many people complained and what they complained about exactly, since I was under the impression it was being taken away because of cannibalism concerns. I was told they received something like 4 letters and 7 phone calls. All of them generic “I’m offended and my right to not be offended trumps everything!!!”. The DMV then had a private round table meeting with something like 13 people in the meeting… JUST to discuss my plate.

On their own, they came to the conclusion that my plate advocated oral sex on children, oral fucking sex on underage fucking children!! I was completely shocked and couldnt form a complete sentence afterwords.
I then tried to get the plate “FUVADMV”, but it didnt pass muster.

Who the hell interpreted the license plate that way…?

The letter from the DMV is here:

What’s the point of vanity plates of you can’t get something obviously meant to entertain and amuse?

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Gavin

    Who cares?

  • Here in the UK the system for vehicle plates are different, but one totally legitimate number would be P155 OFF. I’ve often wondered if anyone owns that one :o)

  • SarahNaut

    That is so silly and stupid and a waste of time. I am not the least bit surprised as VA also has a “pro-life” vanity plate. Someone drove around for years with the license plate “SATANIC” and someone in the area I live in has one that says “GODS KIA”. I wonder how many calls the first one got complaining.

    I thought the plate in question was funny. Never in a million years would I even think of any association with sex. Someone has a dirty, paranoid mind.

  • Luciferadi

    That plate will probably get way more exposure now on the internet than it would have simply putting around VA on a Mazda.

  • Ian

    I side with the DMV on this one. Child abuse is not (and should not be considered) humorous and despite the intentions, some will take it as such, and so under the existing guidelines they made the correct call and recalled the plates.

    I find that it’s especially in bad taste to put this on a special plate meant to raise awareness about and prevent child abuse.

  • Slider33

    Anybody with a sense of humor would realize his plates were a joke.

    People are too easily offended. Sometimes people just need to loosen up, jeez.

  • Megan

    That is ridiculous. People with Jesus fish on their cars annoy me but I don’t complain about it or think that my opinion should be the final word. Don’t sweat the small stuff people!

  • Steve

    If oral sex (and not cannibalism) is the first thing you think of when reading that, something is wrong with you

  • Um Yeah

    Ugh, I hate to side with Ian…but I have so many friends that were sexually abused and seeing the damage that was done to them and things they deal with daily just to function as normal looking adults is incredible. Sorry not a joke for me and definitely not for them. I cringe just thinking at the number of people that see this and honestly get hurt. They deal with enough. Atheist here but seriously most people don’t get this…if it was a Christian rant…then I would say back off. Sorry the plate isn’t clear enough. Try GOD SUX or something…be more direct. 🙂

  • I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. Maybe because I’m Australian. Can someone please explain what eating the children on a number plate is about?

  • Um Yeah

    Hi Lissa, it comes from church of course…the past, I would have to look it up exactly…that non-god fearing people, Jews, Gays do horrible things. For example, eating children…so ridiculous.

  • Yes that is ridiculous, and probably why I didn’t get it in the first place. Thanks for enlightening me!

  • Danny Wuvs Kittens

    Land of the little-bit free, home of the cowards…

  • JD

    Go Streisand Effect. In comes sensitivity and out goes free speech. The right to not be offended doesn’t exist.

    And frankly, I’d completely forgotten about the sexual connotation of “eat”.

  • It’s nice to see that Christians don’t have a monopoly on self-righteousness. Or, conversely, that atheists don’t have a conglomerate on good humor. I suffered ten years of my life under the roof of an abusive househould.

    I think this is hilarious. At no point does it trivialize, marginalize or mock the abuse of children. People who think that just have a stick up there ass and can’t seem to resist the almost biological temptation to stick it up the asses of others as well.

    Raise awareness? I defy you to show me one person who is unaware of child abuse in this nation. A “raised awareness” of anything is just an elitist, bourgeois way of saying “look at what I know, I’m so enlightened.”

    Fuck, I hate people.

  • Nordog

    What would Jonathan Swift say?

  • Al

    Virginia has a long list of plates. Why can’t he keep “eatthe” and get another plate? How about a World War II Veteran. There are some sororities as well. Then all of the children will be safe.

  • ButchKitties

    Prudes are the biggest perverts of them all. They read sex into anything and everything.

  • NotYou007

    I will admit I am a very kinky person with a very dirty sexual mind and I never even thought for a moment this plate could relate to oral sex with a child.

    What kind of sick fuck reads that plate and equates it to oral sex with a child.

  • gary

    yea i was thinking more of a mike tyson quote that the other thing

  • Remus

    i didn’t get the eat = oral sex until I read the comments.

    This just proves it, the DMV are sick fucks.

  • I wonder how many of the complainants saw the plate in real life? I know that I’ve seen this plate floating around the internet for a long time, so I’d be willing to bet that all of them saw it online. Not that that necessarily stops someone being offended, but you don’t have to spend too long surfing the web each day to see offensive stuff all the time.

    I also don’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to keep the ‘EATTHE’ bit but not on a Kids First plate. That just smacks of being spiteful.

    Plus I second the whole WTF towards the oral sex interpretation! I have never once considered that.

  • Tony

    Because you have to pay a higher price for vanity plates, was any refund issued?

  • Try GOD SUX or something…be more direct.

    You think “GOD SUX kids first” wouldn’t have the same fate?

  • Danielle

    Doesn’t this invade his first amendment right?

  • Mike

    What if the plate said HUG THE above KIDS FIRST? Would that piss someone off that it was somehow referring to pedophilia? That’s how stupid this thing is. If a mother with a handful of kids had a HUG THE KIDS FIRST plate on her minivan and someone complained, don’t you think the wrath of the community would come down on the complainer?

    Come on Virginians, there are enough things to worry about with getting you rectum all puckered up over something as silly as this. Maybe I’ll start seeking out all those license plates with religious references and start complaining to our BMV. After all, when I see a religious plate it conjures up horrible images in my mind of torture and crucifixion. I think I could safely say that, even though someone might find their religious plate inspirational, other individuals would “find the plate to be disturbing by being disrespectful toward the non-religious, showing a low opinion of the non-religious or belittling the non-religious” After all, citizens who observe the license plate do not have the benefit of knowing and understanding why they chose that character combination.

    The rules are for everybody, right? No exceptions, right? For some strange reason, I doubt that is true.

  • nobody

    Might I suggest an alternative? I’m pretty sure VA uses front-and-back plates for cars. I’ve seen this done before with TA3M on a vanity plate, spelling “MEAT” when seen in the rearview mirror. Something like, “3HTTA3” or “3HTT43” ought to do.

    It has a good chance of slipping by the authorities…

  • Chad

    Good to know that this is the most important issue to the VA DMV at that time. When 11 complaints is enough for them to have a meeting solely about this matter, there is something wrong. I’m sure they get 100s of complaints about tons of other things, but this is clearly more important than any of those.

  • Eskomo

    Doesn’t this invade his first amendment right?

    The rights go to the publisher, in this case the state of Virginia. They get to decide what is acceptable. The owner of a car can still place any bumper sticker on the car that he/she chooses.

  • lawless imagination

    i was abused sexually as a child and i found this plate hilarious. it just reminded me of the saying *i like kids….medium rare…with ketchup*
    if the guy had some sort of record of being a pedophile i could see how they might make a connection…but they were just reaching for straws by coming up with some *legitimate* way to squash the plate.

  • Bob

    Sorry, where I come from, if you’re sexually abusing children, it’s called MOLESTATION. (Or, on occasion, being a Catholic priest.)

    And when *was* the last documented case of cannibalism? Richard Dahmer? The Donner Party?

    If sexual connotations are against DMV policy, then they’d better check all those Tea Party voters out there …

  • what’s wrong with oral sex on children?

  • Mully

    I drove behind someone yesterday with the license plate “SATAN”. I wonder how quickly that would fall under the same category as “offensive” to fundies?

  • Traziness

    I bet anything that if anyone had the licence plate GODSAVES (kids first) or something equally religious there could be tons of atheists complaining and the DMV would ignore those complaints. Someone has their panties in a bunch and the DMV is totally wasting their time on it.
    Fundies just have ZERO humor. It must be so extremely uncomfortable to sit on a stick all day!!

  • J.

    Good art has the right to offend some.

    And — Oh were we Atheists supposed to eat babies? I missed that memo.

    But have these people not heard of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”? – That’s what the plate reminds me of.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Bob: And when *was* the last documented case of cannibalism? Richard Dahmer? The Donner Party?

    More recently than that, Bob.

    In the news right now:
    Crossbow Cannibal was a known ‘serial killer’ in the making

    From 2003:
    German cannibal tells of fantasy

  • Reginald Selkirk

    So the word “Eat” can always be interpreted as a reference to oral sex. It is strange then that the Virgina DMV, in May 2010, approved revenue-sharing license plates with the message “Virginia Kids Eat Free.” I’m not sure precisely to what it is referring, but it sounds wicked and degenerate. I think we should send complaints to the Virginia DMV about this.

  • Carlie

    I’m personally against specialty plates at all. The whole point of a visible plate is for easy identification, especially with something like a hit and run. Each state ought to have one single color combination that is their plate and that never changes, so at the minimum the state where a car is registered can be identified at a glance. The proliferation of specialty plates and annual design changes undermines the whole concept of vehicle identification.

    “So the word “Eat” can always be interpreted as a reference to oral sex. ”

    If so, then all churches in Virginia can also be charged with endorsing child molestation if anyone under the age of 18 is found in a communion service where they are told “Take and eat, for this is my body.”

  • But doesn’t the Bible say that in the end times we’ll eat our own children? I keep hearing that we’re in the end times! We need to get the word out, that children are a tasty, high protein meal.

  • schnauzermom

    Well, now we know where THEIR minds are…

  • What about “EAT DA” or “EET DA” ?
    That might slip by. 😉

  • ThatOtherGuy

    Ten to one says those buffoons at the RMV never read A Modest Proposal. Actually eating children is so flagrantly over-the-top that it’s OBVIOUSLY satire and could never be mistaken for a serious suggestion, except by retards.

  • Drew M.

    I’m that guy that sees sexual innuendo in everything and the oral sex thing didn’t even occur to me.

    I would probably try and slip in something sexual just out of spite:



  • I wonder (though its probably a stretch, and probably wouldn’t pass judicial review) if, because this letter is possibly a public document, some form of slander or defamation lawsuit could be brought on the grounds that the letter implies that his intent was to be extremely vulgar (in a very implied disturbing manner), rather than humorous…?

    Lots of ‘ifs’ there, I know, but I would be somewhat concerned about such a letter floating around in public files if it were me.

  • It should be “Marinate the kids first”.

  • mingfrommongo

    And yet I’ve seen, in the Charlottesville area, plates that say “ARYAN” and “IMARYAN.” And “FQIFINO” on a Mustang in Richmond. Another reason to be glad I moved outta VA.

  • Brian Macker

    Funny thing is that people should find cannibalism of children far more offensive than oral sex on them.

  • ThilinaB

    I’d be way more concerned about the people who see that and the first thing to go to their head is oral sex on children.

    Its a sad world were people cant take a joke.

  • Nine Deep

    I like the article and the license plate, however there is one statement in the article that confuses me: ‘As an atheist, that plate is near and dear to my heart’. To each there own when it comes to religious belief, but what does not believing in God have anything to do with liking this plate; taking the statement in another way, what does believing in God have anything to do with not liking this plate?

  • Guest

    Did he get a refund? Those vanity plates cost a lot extra.

  • Rick

    Well, that’s funny, because VA is also the state that had those lovely half-page advertisments in the paper that said “Virginia is for Lovers” and shows an adult man and a young boy holding hands walking on the beach. 🙂 Here’s a link to it:

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