So I’m driving home from Wisconsin after a weekend away with the Ladyfriend. She’s very tired and decides to take a nap on my shoulder. No big deal. I can drive just fine.
I get on a local road and I see a cop in my rear-view mirror somewhere in the distance. That’s fine. I slow down to where I’m driving slightly under the speed limit and keep going. No problem, right?
I’m driving for *miles* and the cop is always behind me. He even gets closer to me. But whatever. I’m doing nothing wrong. Seat belts are on. I’m not texting or using my phone. I’m obeying the speed limit.
All of a sudden, he’s right behind me. For several blocks.
I start to freak out when he turns his lights on, even though there’s no siren. I move to the side of the road and the cop follows. I wake up the Ladyfriend and tell her (really quickly) that we’re being pulled over and I don’t know what I did wrong.
The cop immediately gets out of his car — no writing anything down in his car or entering my license plate number into the system. I roll down my window.
Even though it’s daylight, he takes his flashlight and shines it on my face. Then her face.
Then my crotch.
Oh my god… he couldn’t see her head from the back window… he must think she was…
Me: I swear she was just sleeping!
Her: I was just sleeping!
Me: I’m *really* sorry if that looked bad from where you were sitting… but she was honestly just resting on my shoulder.
Cop (after several seconds of thinking): Oh… wow… umm… I’m really sorry about that. Just be careful as you merge back onto the road…
And with that, he went back into his car and we drove off.
I think that I just experienced the greatest traffic stop ever 🙂