God Rest Ye Merry Atheists December 25, 2010

God Rest Ye Merry Atheists

It’s an old song for Unitarians but that’s no reason we can’t repost an atheist version of it…

Gods rest ye, merry atheists, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there’s no evidence there was a Christmas Day;
When Christ was born is just not known, no matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

Our current Christmas Customs come from Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.
This whole darn Christmas spiel is just another pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angels’ song;
There couldn’t have been wise men for the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact!

Sing that one to your neighbors 🙂

Have a great day, all!

(Thanks to Alex for the link!)

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  • Michele

    And yet here we are as a nation (it is a national holiday after all) using the “pagan” rituals to celebrate the birth of Jesus and not really caring that we don’t know the actual day of his birth. It’s not really as big a deal as atheists think it is.

  • Tom

    “Our current Christmas Customs come from Persia and from Greece,
    From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.”

    Can someone link me something that goes into this more??

    I dont know my Christmas history…

  • Fett101
  • Barton
  • Jeff

    Have a great day, all!

    You too, Hemant.

  • cody borst

    This is a great song. Well done sir.

  • Oana

    @tom

    Ditto. I’ve wanted some reading material on this for some time now, but Warcraft is too much of a priority to do any research. lol

  • Claudia

    The greeting “Merry Nothing” is relatively close to what I greeted my (also atheist) parents with this morning; “Merry something!”

    Is there a melody to this song one can follow?

  • Jamie

    Is there a melody to this song one can follow?

    The lyrics are a parody of a carol called God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen; you can find a passable rendition of the original (e.g. this one) and follow that tune.

  • Claudia

    @Jamie, thanks!

  • Merry Nothing & Happy Everything!

    Beautiful day here in Chicago.

  • Ubi Dubium

    My mother knows the person who wrote this, and says that the website Hemant linked to has the attribution wrong. It was written by Rev. Sarah York, who was recently a UURev at Eno River UU Church in Raleigh, but is now retired. She wrote it while working at the Arlington, VA UU church.

    My Mom says her Day Alliance group used to sing this every year.

  • jose

    Happy monkey, y’all!

  • Happy Holidays, everyone!

  • Just to be a tad pedantic, the original title is God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen – you have the comma in the wrong place Herman!

    A very Happy Monkey to all…

  • lurker111

    I like the Allan Sherman version better. It begins,

    God rest ye, Jerry Mendelbaum
    Let nothing you dismay
    Dis May you had a rotten month
    So what is there to say?

    Haven’t been able to find a correct 2nd verse on the net, but it ends with “And you won’t have a feeling of dismay–next May!”

    Sherman had a number of short parodies about salesmen; one goes (to the tune of “Jimmy Crack Corn”:

    Oh salesmen come and salesmen go,
    And my best one is gone I know,
    And if he don’t come back to me,
    I’ll have to close the fac-tor-y!
    Oh, gimme Jack Cohn, and I don’t care, etc.

    Ah, memories …

    I’m sure his CDs are still available from Amazon. His “Streets of Miami” (vs. Streets of Laredo) is a classic.

  • Love it!

    There’s also The Restroom Door Said Gentleman”.

    But this is possibly even better.

  • Tara

    My approach this year has been to co-opt Christmas as a time to celebrate the birth of the universe! http://awhistleandamilkshake.blogspot.com/ The universe is so much more inspiring than Jesus.

  • As a UU, I’m just glad you enjoy our song! Adapt and sing it with my… er, ahem… “blessing” or secular equivalent.
    In a similar vein, are you all acquainted with the parody verses to “That Old-Time Religion”? Like

    We shall worship like the Druids.
    They drank fermented fluids
    Running naked through the woo-ids
    And it’s good enough for me!

    Here’s a link to one of many on-line compilations.