A Picture and a Contest December 11, 2010

A Picture and a Contest

Between a Speech Team tournament all of today and a friend’s wedding tonight, I’m out of commission most of this weekend. But here’s a random story:

I was looking through some old family photos last night when I came across one I’d never seen before… it’s my dad holding me right after I was born.

I think the look on his face says everything 🙂

Got an amusing caption for it? Leave it in the comments 🙂

I’ll pick my favorite next week and the winner will receive a copy of the just-released Australian Book of Atheism edited by Warren Bonett. (Thanks to Embiggen Books for the prize!)

Be creative and entertaining! If you’d like to be in the running for the prize, just make sure the word “dingo” appears at the end of your comment…

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Tufty

    Caption: “What do you mean I can’t eat it?”

  • RTH

    “Oh, shit. My wife had an atheist!!”


    “Do atheists really EAT these?”

    That’s a dingo.

  • Lgirl

    “What the hell do you expect me to do with this?”

  • GeekGirl

    I think there’s been some kind of mistake…
    i ordered a dingo

  • Jon

    “Is it supposed to smell like this?”

  • Tam Hunter

    What do you mean God created him is he going to pay Child maintenance then

  • What the hell? What do you expect me to do with this? You’re the woman you hold it! (lol)

  • Matt

    Nine months? For this?


    OK, who swiped my ventriloquist dummy?

  • Meredith

    What did you name him? Spell it.

  • Catherine Siegel

    I’m so not impressed.

  • Shawnee

    “He doesn’t look a thing like me! Woman!?”

  • christopher

    i can has cheeseburger now
    (RTH stole mine and gets my vote)

  • Mark

    “You expect me to eat this without ketchup?”


    “Why are you taking a picture of me holding the mailman’s baby?”


  • HumanistDad

    “I think we should name him that Indian word for ‘smells like poo’. Starts with an H, I think…”

  • What hath God wrought?


  • Lauruhhpalooza

    “I asked for this medium rare!”

  • RTH

    “I thought we were having Italian tonight.”


  • Karl

    Oooh, this one’s going to cause all sorts of trouble.

  • Kate

    What do you MEAN we don’t have any Grey Poupon??!


  • christopher

    it..it doesn’t really look so much like me…dear dear

  • Danny

    Maybe the baybe ate your dingo!

  • This is the reason your belly got bigger?

  • Oh, god, he’s got a big mouth!

    (You were a cute baby, Hemant!)

    Oh and dingo…

  • “You paid how much for this? Does it come with sauce?”

  • Myrmidon

    “Deny your god or the baby gets it.”


  • Claudia

    “Shit, this one’s gonna be trouble.”

  • Chris

    What do you mean, he has the atheist gene?

  • madbaker

    I’d sell my soul to make him stop crying! and so it begins…dingo

  • billybee

    “Waiter!… This is not what I ordered.”


  • FreeThoughtCrime

    “Oh,man, this is gonna cost me.”

  • Tony

    “He stinks like an atheist.”

    “Oh Ganesh, what did I do to deserve this?”

    “I wanted a son. Not a girlie boy.”

    “Where is a dingo when you need one?”

    Thank you for having a sense of humor Hemant.


  • Claudia

    Ahh forgot the magic word. I’ll repeat:

    “Shit, this one’s gonna be trouble.”


  • Inferno

    “What do you mean we cannot enroll him in SAT classes? How will he keep up with everyone otherwise?”


  • Nicole

    Onlookers were stunned when the father’s bewildered “oh my God” was met by the infant sternly saying, “yeah, we’ll have to talk about that, dad.”


  • trixr4kids

    In retrospect, Mrs. Mehta realized she picked the wrong moment to inform her husband of the obstetrician’s C.O.D. policy.

    (Baby-eating dingo.)

  • Clyde

    Here, somebody else hold him. I’ll just grab my coat and step out for a while. I—I’ll be back.

  • Raymond

    “You want me to eat what?? ”


  • Danish Atheist

    I wonder what that warm, humid sensation on my hand is?


  • HighEndurance

    “Vat do you mean ‘you have to clean it!’? I’m not poo-ting my hands down der!”*


    *Indian accents are not easy to type

  • Clyde

    Oops, dingo.

  • Dymara

    I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

  • Julie

    You said I’d never have to touch this!

    Take the picture! TAKE THE PICTURE!

    I told you I wanted a puppy!

    Dingo baby

  • Craig Evans

    Do you want fries with that?

    Can I get a doggie bag for this?

  • connor

    …………..is that pee?


  • Michael

    “It doesn’t really do much…does it?”

    It’s a good thing a dingo didn’t eat his baby.

  • Ed L.

    “So honey, this is a joke, right? Please tell me its a joke. You’re such a kidder. Right?”

  • “Hemant just said he goes well with a side of gravy”

  • littlejohn

    Don’t give me that “He’s got your nose crap,” I’ve already seen the DNA results.

  • Epistaxis

    “I’d forgotten how ugly the milkman is.”

  • Brian Macker

    What should I do with this thing?

  • KimberEliz

    “There’s an awful lot of smell coming from such a small packag….OH honey! Where are your clothes? You just had a fucking baby for Pete’s sake.”


  • Opium_4_the_Masses

    I had to go for 6 months without sex for this?

  • DrDye

    “Gross, I think my finger just slid somewhere where it doesnt belong.”


    “WTF is this, and what am I supposed to do with it?”

    I liked what Julie said, I told you I wanted a puppy.


  • Eskomo

    Friendly AND atheist? I don’t understand.


  • Rich Wilson

    It’s not a puppet?


  • lol! Hemant, you are such a good sport.

    “Woman, when you wake up, I’m going to hand this back to you, shave my head and join a monastic order. a celibate order.”

    but really, you were a very cute baby. maybe a baby dingo?

  • jon

    “Why is he not a doctor yet?”


  • Saikat Biswas

    Bade miyaan to bade miyaan ….. chhote miyaan zubaan allah …

  • Saikat Biswas

    mane eklo chhodi do ….. beta maru nastik chhe

  • Oz Tilson

    this is the best our species evolved to create?


  • chris

    Only 7 pounds? That won’t even last me until lunch!


  • taxman

    I never believed his mother’s Cthulu abduction story, but the tentacles on this kid scare the he’ll out of me!


  • fritzy

    “Oh, Hemant…you received a “B+?” And this is only your FIRST engineering class. Have you even started studying for the spelling bee next year? Your mother and I are most disappointed.”

    Thanks for being such a good sport, Hemant.

    Atheists ate my dingo!

  • bOOm

    I swore I hid that polaroid camera! Here I am looking all dingo since I didn’t even shave! come now! Put the camera down and hand me some Rotti..

  • liz

    hehehehehe baby hemant.

    i love babiessss =]

  • Osperus

    “This is too big to put in my taco!”

    You were a cute baby, Hemant.

  • no longer catholics

    I was told there would be cookies. I see no cookies here. And how do you turn this thing off???

  • BlueRidgeLady

    nothing to add except this picture is really funny, and Hemant was a cute little baby.

  • bigjohn756

    Holy Shit!! What did I do this time??

  • Mark

    Are you sure Jains are supposed to be vegetarians?

    Is this where I write dingo?

  • Inferno

    Out of curiosity Hemant, what languages do you speak?

  • Bobby

    Woman, I told you we do not eat our own babies in this house. Now go and fetch the new neighbor girl and make some soup.

  • I wait, and wait and wait… 9 long months – and this is all I get? I think I understand now why that woman fed her baby to the dingo!

  • JoeBuddha

    “My god, my god! Why have you forsaken me??”

  • Richard Wade

    Hemant in a few years, after he’s been accused of not being friendly enough one time too many:

    future Hemant

  • Face

    “This one is going to be trouble!”

  • Tony

    No hot sauce?? How about a side of placenta?


  • Ali

    “I see the Devil in this one”


  • Sarah

    What is this? I ordered twin tacos. ):<

    You overcooked it! Now it's all brown and icky.

    Look at your little arms waving around in the air! It is almost as if you haven't a care!

    So I was thinking maybe we should team up with the dingoes. That way we can cooperate instead of competing for food.

  • Austin

    “So…skip the baptistery and head home?”


  • All of these comments are so funny! My favorite one was by RTH: “Oh, shit. My wife had an atheist!!”

    And Richard Wade, that picture is hilarious.

  • I just had a strange premonition about a math teacher using something called … I think it was called … the internet.

    There were many cats.


  • Michael

    I dunno, honey, I don’t think naming him Jesus will make him any more friendly. How about Hemant? That’s a nice traditional name.

  • Parse

    “You mean he’s going to grow up to be… a math teacher!?!

  • maddogdelta

    Take it back. I wanted mine with mustard.

  • sailor

    “you know I can’t drown it, I’m a Jain”

  • Richard, great photoshop!

  • “I paid 20 bucks for this?!

  • Out of curiosity Hemant, what languages do you speak?

    Gujurati (but not Hindi)… and whatever Spanish I can remember from high school.

    And @Richard… that was the scariest thing I’ve seen all morning 😛

  • Jack Bentley

    What are you lookin’ at, dude. I’m HUNGRY

  • Chad

    After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?

  • Chad

    Put it in the garage with the others.

  • “Well, that’s proof enough for me. There is NO GOD.”


  • P.

    Flag the waiter down. I’m sending this one back.


  • Nancy

    What do you mean “He’s not a Buddhist”?

  • Sinfanti

    “Is that the stench of a non-believer or is it time to change a diaper?”

    I know, not worth a pair kidneys of a dingo.

  • Ross

    I have a few:

    I wanted a pony! What the hell?

    Congrats in your first solid poop now stop bragging.

    Crap the test was positive, it IS mine.

    What the hell kind of name is Richard? We’re going with Hemant.

    This little bastard is going to leave our religion isn’t he?

  • Ross

    Left my comment before I read any others. apparently I’m not as clever as I thought. And I forgot the dingo.

    Aah! A spider monkey!

    Oh my god I have to piss.


  • “He’s grunting. Why is he grunting?”

  • Ben Finney

    “It’s an atheist. Don’t you try to tell me it’s mine.”

    “Yes, when Michael Faraday asked “What good is a new-born baby?”, he was being rhetorical, but I need to know the answer now!”


  • coley

    “It’s a boy? Then what will we do with all the pink clothes?”


  • “I wonder how much I’ll get for this on eBay.”


  • Frank

    “Ugh.. I hope he never puts his picture on his blog banner..”


  • “How was I supposed to know this was coming out? I thought you were just getting fat. Well, shit.”


  • Randy

    “I thought you said it was a boy”

  • Robin (not Robyn)

    “What do you mean ‘this isn’t a ventriloquist’s dummy”? Ohhh….my bad…so sorry, little Hemant!”


  • Inthewater

    Not sure if I saw this yet, but it must be said with only the best Han Solo/Indiana Jones impression, “I’ve have a really bad feeling about this.”


  • Arlo

    Mr. Hemant, clearly displeased at his newly born sons lack of enthusiasm.

  • hotkarl8083

    “Look what I found in the dumpster behind the 7/11. Now, where’s my son?”


  • The Sifaka

    You mean I did all that fucking for this?

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