Rev. Cedric Miller Had a Foursome November 21, 2010

Rev. Cedric Miller Had a Foursome

You know how Rev. Cedric Miller demanded that members of his staff get off of Facebook so they could avoid temptation from people who were not their spouses?

Then, you know how you heard he had threesomes with his wife and a male assistant in his church?

It turns out it was a bit kinkier than that:

… over the weekend Rev Miller’s local newspaper disclosed that he “didn’t need Facebook to be part of an extramarital affair”.

It found transcripts from a criminal trial against the church assistant in 2003, in which details emerged of what Rev Miller has since called “a very painful part of my past”.

In the case, which was eventually dismissed, he testified that his wife, Kim, had an affair with the assistant, and that he and the man’s wife were often present at their meetings.

“I mean between the four of us,” Rev Miller said. “It was just, I mean there was touching … it was crazy, it was as wrong as wrong could get.”

Asked by a lawyer whether he was talking about “sex”, Rev Miller replied: “Yes”. He described their behaviour as “beyond what was appropriate”.

Rev Miller told the court that the meetings between the couples often took place after Thursday Bible study sessions and after church services on Sundays.

You know, I don’t care about what the guy does in his own sex life. It sounds like the pastor’s orgy was consensual. But tell me again why he has a right to counsel others regarding how to keep their marriage Biblically sound?

Unless there’s some amazing section in the Bible that no one ever told me about…

The J-Walk Blog knows what will happen now:

… I’m sure they’ve prayed over it, and everything is fine now. Forgiveness… that’s what’s great about religious leaders. They can always make a come-back by quoting the Bible, and everyone thinks they’re even holier than they used to be.



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  • Well, at least it proves that he is the authority at hand on all things lewd. Maybe these people will listen to him because of his ‘experience’ on the subject. I, for one, would be happy to have fewer fundamentalists on Facebook.

  • ccolumbus1975

    It is clear that this minister can no longer be considered effective in his ministry. Truthfully, he can be forgiven of his sins, but he has lost all credibility with any church he tries to work for. So on the one hand, he has his sins forgiven of the penalty of death and eternal separation from God, but on the other hand, the direct current consequences of his sin are clear in his lost of his ministry position. This man has no right to counsel I do agree with that, but I would also be skeptical of his true faith in Jesus Christ.

  • James

    And yet his flock will take him back in a snap becuase he has seen his hurtful ways and is helping others to not follow in his path.
    For how can a man preach about things he does not know.

    Next week, Rev. Cedric Miller discusses drug use.
    This week though he is out buying some heroin so he can get the real mans feel of it….

  • NotYou007

    This just keeps getting better and better. I could care less he had a foursome. Would love to have one myself but I’m not telling others to get rid of their facebook accounts.

    Gotta love hypocrites.

  • Kamaka

    Oh, I am so surprised!! How could a person of such moral authority have such a sordid past? I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked!

    It is clear that this minister can no longer be considered effective in his ministry.

    The Baptists and the Catholics have plenty of effective ministers and priests that have committed far more aggregious sexual crimes than this minor peccadillo.

    Truthfully, he can be forgiven of his sins

    I agree. Forgiveness is everything. I have complete confidence in this person, being as he has been forgiven. I might seek counseling from this minister on sexual mores, but forgiveness has likely raised his rates beyond what I can afford.

    I would also be skeptical of his true faith in Jesus Christ.

    Oh, you got so close to the truth with this statement.

  • Marty

    Ccolumbus said that he can be forgiven of his sins. What sin? I fail to see what he did consensually with his wife and friends was in any way a “sin”. It might not have been appropriate given his standing in his church, but where’s the sin? If anything, he’s only guilty of hypocrisy. Sin presupposes the existence of a being whom one can sin against. If his wife was ok with it and the others were ok with it, what’s the problem? Hypocrisy yes, sin no.

  • MH

    Since he met these people at Church, I think it is obvious that everyone should quit Church!

    BTW Betty Bowers has a hilarious take on what is a biblical marrige:
    http://www.youtube.com/mrsbettybowers#p/u/1/OFkeKKszXTw

  • Jason

    Rev Miller told the court that the meetings between the couples often took place after Thursday Bible study sessions and after church services on Sundays.

    If churches ofered this to all the congrigation I think I would be able to get along with christians better. I still wouldn’t believe in it, but I might go to church…

  • Ah, but he was talking about extramarital affairs. The good reverend was simply trying to enliven his married sex life. He wasn’t cheating on his wife, they were just trying to reach a more profound level of sexual satisfaction. You know, to help strengthen their marriage.

    Clearly not a hypocrite.

  • baump

    Haha. The best part, the part that made me laugh out loud was the post bible study and post church trysts. How do you get in on those extra special study groups? Was he preaching or studying about sin right those special parties? So, hypocritical…but there is always the easy out of forgiveness. But, how many times must you commit the same sin before forgiveness stops taking effect and God just throws up his hands? I always wanted to know if there was some threshold or limit. So, it goes like “I’m sorry, God..I’ll never do that again.”………next day………oops. “I’m really really sorry, God. I promise THis time, I’ll never do it again.” ……….next day……….OOPS. “Hey, God…………………..”

  • Fundie Troll

    When I tell my children not to do certain things (because I know from experience that they are detrimental), am I being a hypocrite? Or am I just trying to help them avoid making the same mistakes that I made in life?

    I wouldn’t be too quick to judge this man. Perhaps he as well is speaking from experience, having made shipwreck of his own marriage…

  • gwen

    Of course it was okay! It occurred AFTER bible studies!! They looked up all of the necessary passages to make it okay!! Then they prayed about it!

  • Epistaxis

    “I mean between the four of us,” Rev Miller said.

    Correction: “among the four of us.” With more than two people involved, your private life is among you and your partners, not between you.

  • Richard Wade

    Fundie Troll,

    When I tell my children not to do certain things (because I know from experience that they are detrimental), am I being a hypocrite? Or am I just trying to help them avoid making the same mistakes that I made in life?

    I wouldn’t be too quick to judge this man. Perhaps he as well is speaking from experience, having made shipwreck of his own marriage…

    You’re making an important point. Personal experience of one’s own transgressions and mistakes can be a valuable source of practical wisdom, but in general it has to be presented openly and frankly as personal experience.

    I think the problem with the Reverend is that he was not up front and honest about the wisdom his errors might have given him. He continued to try to base his credibility on an illusion of spotless virtue. This not only set him up for eventual discovery and justified accusations of hypocrisy, it also hampered him in really being able to talk effectively about the root causes of his and perhaps others’ marital problems. Instead, he babbled about peripheral and quite irrelevant things like Facebook and the “temptations” it supposedly presents. All that was completely beside the point, but he was unable to be a powerful speaker for virtue in a marriage, because his own virtue was a complete facade.

    Maybe he will now be able to speak with more genuine credibility, but he’ll have to constantly guard against accruing more arrogance. He really will need to say “I don’t know” more often, and he’ll have to acknowledge that there are often no neat and clean solutions to people’s problems.

  • One of the first nails in the coffin in which my dead faith resides, was the partner swapping that happened involving me, my girlfriend, a friend who was a deacon, and his wife the night before he was to get to perform his first sermon in front of our church.

  • Dave Wright

    Richard:

    “I think the problem with the Reverend is that he was not up front and honest about the wisdom his errors might have given him. He continued to try to base his credibility on an illusion of spotless virtue.”

    Where do you get this information from? I’m not saying you’re wrong, and I’ve only been vaguely following the issue, so I’m genuinely curious about whether he has been trying to cover up or ignore his past. If he has been taking such a stance, then this is a serious accusation (and grounds for much chortling). If not, it’s just tabloid muckraking, and I don’t find it particularily interesting, amusing or relevant. In my (admittedly half-hearted) skimming of the commentary on this debacle, I can’t find anything to settle the issue either way.

    I wouldn’t assume that just because he’s a preacher, preaching on infidelity, that he necessarily relies on the image of personal virtue. Some christian heirarchies do work like this, but it’s important to remember that not all do. Not everyone is the Catholic church – some churches emphasise the fallibility of leaders and make sure that they are held accountable. It’s also important to remember how important the concept of forgiveness and justification by faith is for many strands of protestant christianity. It may well be that the preacher’s past is an open secret among his congregation.

  • “I mean between the four of us,” Rev Miller said. “It was just, I mean there was touching … it was crazy, it was as wrong as wrong could get.”

    Why was it wrong? It was consensual sex between loving adults. If we measure right and wrong on the scale of how much harm is done then what harm was done here? I don’t get it.

    Nor do I get how Facebook is somehow to blame. I’m very confused by all this. It seems that the cause of my confusion is Rev. Miller’s confused adherence to some muddled old rule book that he’s been taught is true. I mean have you read it? Its enough to turn anyone who takes it seriously a bit batty.

  • Didn’t someone recently coin an internet law that basically stated that when someone of Christian ‘authority’ condemned something it was only a short matter of time before they were publicly outed for doing something very similar?

    If not, then I’ll coin it now. 🙂

  • Ottawaanon

    Are we sure these pillars of Christian values aren’t really antitheist in disguise?

  • Lauren

    Didn’t someone recently coin an internet law that basically stated that when someone of Christian ‘authority’ condemned something it was only a short matter of time before they were publicly outed for doing something very similar?

    If not, then I’ll coin it now.

    I believe Sigmund Freud coined the term psychological projection.

  • Nick Andrew

    Slugsie, yes that was PZ. Another homophobic ranting preacher if I recall correctly, and PZ predicted that he’ll be outed having his luggage lifted real soon now.

    These stories just write themselves … fire-and-brimstone morality … delete your facebook accounts because it might lead to temptation … a short time passes and now we’re hearing about foursomes after bible study.

    @ccolumbus1975: “I would also be skeptical of his true faith in Jesus Christ.”

    I am not. I’m sure he’s a true Christian, with faith in Jesus Christ and whatnot. Being a Christian doesn’t stop a person engaging in group sex, but it does make them a hypocrite when they rage in public against such immorality.

  • Well, I’m done wondering if the FB thing had anything to do with any temptation he felt before shutting his own in a hurry. Now I’m wondering how long before that comes out in addition to this.

    Really not surprising. You’ve got to be horny to obsess about sex this much. Kind of like the “straight” people who obsess about what the gays down the block are doing behind closed doors.

  • ACN

    Slugsie,

    Hitch mentioned it here, but someone else could have caught it sooner, or named it explicitly that I’m unaware of.

  • Richard L

    I always wondered how there could possibly be that people got to have such kinky sex… I mean, there’s no indication in my daily life or when I’m out clubbing that seems to lead to such a thing. Mind you I’m not looking so I would probably miss it if it stared me right the face.

    Now I know though! If you have strange fantasies (as in with more one other person, which I think is the most common) about sex that you wish realize, you should become a priest of some sort.

    “Join the priesthood – we’ve got kinky sex parties.” “Join the priesthood – we rape children.” “Join the priesthood – we preach hatred about homosexuality in order to make people that hate homosexuals give us money so that we can buy homosexual acts from male prostitute. Oh, and we also teach hatred for prostitutes and sex buyers.”

    I absolutely love these stories! I mean, there’s already a cognitive dissonance between people of faith and reality (in which they don’t practice their faith because they know it won’t stop the car from running them down if they cross the highway unaware of the traffic), but there’s also a moral dissonance! If you think kinky sex is bad, don’t do it. How can it possibly be so hard (pun intended) to live by what you say you hold dear?

    TL;DR

    One note that might contradict all I wrote above: it’s quite common for people in power to actively ignore the philosophy they say they follow. Rich people saying that capitalism is good giving money to aid, politicians, saying they like to fix the environment, driving big gasoline-eating cars, philanthropically oriented organisations taking money to buy themselves dinner at fancy restaurants or “loving” parents hitting their children when they get angry. It’s quite common with moral dissonance when power is present. “Power corrupts. Great power corrupts greatly:” or whatever the saying is… I would rather put it: The main problem with humankind is that we’re all, in various degrees, unknowing hypocrites.

    Yay, I had two “TL;DR” within one comment!

  • Crux Australis

    I want to quit my job (teaching science at a Catholic school, as it happens) and become a Minister.

  • Bob Carlson

    Rev Miller told the court that the meetings between the couples often took place after Thursday Bible study sessions and after church services on Sundays.

    I believe it is called being filled with the Holy Ghost. 🙂

  • Dakota Bob

    I guess it’s true when Ted Haggard said that evangelicals have the best sex lives.

  • Sinner

    I understand The Pastor Cedric…I am addicted on sex and I am Christian too, all my life and even now I’m fighting against my terrible wishes.I am going marry for third time on 4 weeks with a good woman ( I think so ), I hate the way that I am because I want to have many women and make sex with all of them, I didn’t cheat her no for real but I don’t know how long I will be this way.The reverend Cedric is a good man, he is not evil , he’s trying help the others.
    How many of you have the same wish to have a threesome with other people and with your wife there? how many of you wives want to have other man before your husband ? come on…be real! what he did on the past was wrong and is hurting him now…
    I am a terrible christian but I still believe that he can do good with himself and help the others.

  • Muah

    Having been a member of his church, all I can say is there is SOooooo much more that needs investigating and to come to light!!!!!! He is a master of deception!!!!!