Ever Get a Creepy Feeling on the Back of Your Neck? November 6, 2010

Ever Get a Creepy Feeling on the Back of Your Neck?

By Richard Wade
November 6, 2010

BOO!

This is either a gigantic white zombie king rising out of a gargantuan grave to eat people whole, or a colossal Christ statue, said to be the tallest in the world, being erected in Poland.

We report, you decide.

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  • Methodissed

    That facial expression looks like the “I’ll torture you forever” Jesus, rather than the “perfect in love” Jesus.

    Is that guy bi-polar or what?

  • Barbara

    All I can wonder is how long, once it is completed, it will take to fall over, kill dozens of people, have on person emerge from the carnage and it will be called a miracle.

  • “Shipped in pieces on a flatbed
    staring backwards was his big head
    Driver stuck in traffic backups
    desperately avoiding eye contact
    Well don’t make no graven images.
    That’s one of the 10 commandments
    I hope the grading curve is kindly
    You get to heaven with a 90”

    http://www.justsomelyrics.com/1819886/Heywood-Banks-Big-Butter-Jesus-Lyrics

  • Anonymous

    Wow, that’s some over-the-top Burger King marketing!

  • Steve

    Makes me thing of one of those ancient statues from “Lord of the Rings”

  • Obvious evidence that gods are created by man.

  • Sarah

    Christ? I thought it was Poseidon. (Isn’t that the ocean behind it?)

  • TychaBrahe

    I hope wherever it’s going up has decent insurance. If a person believed in God, he or she might note that Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning and destroyed in the subsequent fire.

    I just wonder, really, how much money that caught, and how many people could be fed/healed/clothed/housed/educated for that money, and which action might give more glory to this hypothetical God character.

  • Courtney

    Whoa, it’s like a combination Jesus/Zardoz head.

  • Jonas

    Anon: “Wow, that’s some over-the-top Burger King marketing!”
    — Zing!

    That was my thought, at first.

  • Phoebe

    I don’t remember Jesus wearing a royal crown in the bible fables. In what chapter does he do that? I remember the character stating that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get to heaven, so seeing a crown like that on his head seems odd.

  • captsam

    I thought christ had a crown of thorns.

  • ManaCostly

    Waste of money, resources, and time.

  • Chris

    All I can say is what the hell is going on in this fricking world!

  • Anonymous

    This article is tagged under “Fine Arts”? ROFL. Well played.

  • David

    It appears that Jesus is still a white European male of Nordic ancestry, despite being a born a Middle Eastern Jew. Oh well, at least this one doesn’t have blue eyes.

  • Nordog

    My first thought was Burger King as well, though I don’t think you can improve on the excellent Zardoz reference.

  • jose

    Come on, everybody knows Jesus looks like this.

  • ckitching

    You know, nothing says humble like a giant gold crown!

  • Hazor

    TychaBrahe wrote:

    I just wonder, really, how much money that caught, and how many people could be fed/healed/clothed/housed/educated for that money, and which action might give more glory to this hypothetical God character.

    A lot, I’d wager. I doubt, if asked, that many Christians would honestly say that Jesus would prefer a giant statue over your suggestions (Save maybe education. There’re still enough who think that thinking or education are evil or paths to sin, unfortunately..) But hypocrisy is no stranger to our species.

    Also, Jose, you are wrong. Jesus does not look like that. He in fact looks like this

  • I love how religions have built monuments for thousands of years just to….I dont know, compensate for something?

    I almost wish Jesus were the son of god so he could return and backhand all of the people who claimed to be Christian but overlooked the humility of Christ (He did ride into Jerusalem on a donkey, didn’t he?)

  • Jon Peterson

    @Richard:
    Can it be both?

  • Steve

    As David says, why is Jesus, if he lived at all, always depicted as white?!! If we believe he lived in the Middle East, then it follows he would have been swarthy, of course, common sense goes out of the window where Christianity is concerned!!!

  • tim

    Why do I expect laser beams to come out of his eyes at any moment?

  • Badger3k

    A common expression in some circles is “King Jesus”, as in this insipid song about “King Jesus returning” – this longing for an authoritarian monarchy makes sense from their mythology, but as one who likes democracy, it’s creepy and disgusting.

    The statue is also “Flat-Top Jesus”, and is causing some disagreement, with some saying a jesus with his skull removed is blasphemous.

  • I wasn’t the only one who noticed this, but in case you didn’t: http://www.google.com/images?q=burger+king+crown . My first impression was that of a paper BK crown.

  • Wow! even they admit it’s a tourist attraction. They obviously know what suckers theists are.

  • Jill

    Run Atreyu!!

  • Yay! They’ve built the statues! Now all we need is a few hobbits, dwarves, elves, men and orcs and we can have one hell of a party.

  • mikespeir

    It is kind of a tacky crown.

  • Opium_4_the_Masses

    Reminds me of the god heads at Nemrut Da??, Turkey.
    http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/go/East/NemrutDagi/ascent.html

  • stevekensington

    If they’re lucky, it won’t be struck by lightning and destroyed by fire like the 62-foot “touchdown” statue of Jesus near Cincinatti.

    http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100615/NEWS01/306150004/-Touchdown-Jesus-statue-at-Solid-Rock-Church-on-I-75-destroyed-by-lightning-fire

  • Chris

    If we’re lucky it will be.

  • I also think it’s the BK guy. Or at least looks like him.

  • Is it made of white chocolate?

  • After the birds poop on it for a few years it won’t be quite so white.

  • Nerdette

    Zawadzki, known in town as “the builder priest” after also erecting two churches and other buildings, said he felt that he was called by Jesus to build the statue.

    Did he really think that through when he made that statement? I definitely think building a massive statue of himself was high on Jesus’ to-do list.

  • Dan W

    People just have to make more of these eyesores? How many Jesus statues does the world need? What a waste of money, time, and the materials they used to build this. Did they at least have enough sense to make it from better building material than Big Butter Jesus?

    It looks to me like those statues in the first Lord of the Rings movie. I will have to call it LotR Jesus from now on.

  • Rich Wilson

    That’s not Ozymandias?

  • Surely zombie king = Jesus.

    The guy next to him must be the model for giant BK zombie Jesus. That crown from a Christmas cracker is just a temporary addition. He’s going to end up with a safety helmet and a high vis jacket. The hard hat should at least satisfy health and safety requirements. The previous crown of thorns was found to have sharp edges and the unions objected.

  • 33 meters is a bit arbitrary.

    Why not 33 fathoms or 33 perches or 33 rods?

    The meter didn’t exist until 1789. So now poor Jesus is thinking “Why did they build it 573 cubits high?”

  • Patrick N O"Driscoll

    The Poles are going through a “Post -Freedom ” phase, hence this “religion mania “. When Ireland became “free’ in 1921 , the country also went crazy on Catholicism , peaking in the “Eucharistic Congress” of 1932 . The country went on a mad spree of prayer , Vatican- worship and devotion to statues . A similar peak occurred when Pope John Paul ( a Pole ! ) visited Ireland . Nowadays , what with paedophile scandals etc , the fervour has evaporated to a large degree . I suspect that another reason for this is the simple fact is that nowadays , the Irish are a much more highly educated people , less likely to swallow the mythology they’d been fed as being “fact “.

  • MH

    Brazil has one, now Poland. It’s like Easter Island on a global scale.

  • JohnFrost

    I honestly thought you were going to say this was a pic of a set in production from The Hobbit.

  • billybee

    It’s all well and good….until it comes to life and goes stomping through the countryside looking for “lunch”.

  • If I was a billionaire, I would buy the adjacent property and build a stone FSM that was just a little bit taller.

  • Even before reading the comments, I showed this to my daughter and we both laughed and asked, “Why is he wearing a Burger King crown?”

    The hypocrites get more and more absurd. At least this time they’re more funny than they are scary.

  • bonefish

    Somebody get on the hotline and call Dr. Who… part of Poland seems to have fallen into E-Space.

  • “The Argonath… Long have I wished to look upon the kings of old, my kin”

  • Mr Ed
  • Steve

    ^^
    Exactly what I was thinking of

  • I actually wasn’t sure whether that was supposed to be Zeus, Posiedon or the Burger King.

  • Darwin’s Dagger

    Don’t forget about this one:
    http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/17113

  • Kazeite

    So, um…

    On behalf of all rationally thinking Poles, I apologise for this … thing.

  • Richard Wade

    Kazeite,
    Take heart, we know you and your rational friends are there, and we support you.

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