So *This* Is How the Catholic Church Will Win New Converts… November 5, 2010

So *This* Is How the Catholic Church Will Win New Converts…

By Guest Contributor
November 5, 2010

The Catholic Church knows it’s losing popularity fast. So they’re making a few dramatic changes.

The Vatican is rolling out a new translation of the Roman Missal, the text around which the Mass and its prayers are built.

…

Here’s a sampling of the wording changes…

Old: (Priest) The Lord be with you. (People) And also with you.

New: (Priest) The Lord be with you. (People) And with your spirit.

I get it. When two non-existent things meet, they must produce something tangible! It’s science.

Or maybe the Lord no longer gives a damn about You and he only wants to hang out with other supernatural beings now.

In either case, I’ll be the pews will be packed next year when these lines go into effect.

“The long-term goal of the new translation is to foster a deeper awareness and appreciation of the mysteries being celebrated in the Liturgy,” the bishops write on their website.

So they want you to have a “deeper awareness” of things that have no real meaning. Sounds contradictory to me.

I wonder what other changes the Catholic Church will be making next year…

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  • earli

    In Germany it was always “mit deinem Geiste”, I think it is just closer to the original text.

    But the German translations have strong differences, for example “Auferstehung der Toten”, where the English text says “resurrection of the bodies”. The German translates to “resurrection of the dead.” Latin original says “resurrection of the flesh”.

    Of course it is all equally claims of the unknowable, but isn’t it surprising how much they differ even inside the catholic cult?

    In Germany most catholics doubt that the physical body could resurrect. Most go with: The body dies, but the soul flies up to heaven.

    That’s pretty contrary to the official catholic teaching.

  • Because priests can touch YOU, but not your spirit. ZING

  • Tam McCourt Hunter

    I wonder will they promise to stop abusing their congregation or is that asking too much

  • JohnJay

    What’s next? Redefining Transubstantiation to where the bread and wind become the “spirit” of a body and its blood?

    Growing up Catholic in the 1960’s, I remember how changing from Latin to English really disenchanted a lot of people. It just didn’t seem mysterious anymore. But the worst was adding the greeting of peace and shaking hands and hugging. Catholics of that day just weren’t into the “fellowship” thing. Most were in their cars before the final blessing. Tell me they really believed god was watching them. Ha. Glad to be rid of it for decades now.

  • When two non-existent things meet, they must produce something tangible! It’s science.

    To quote ED Kain, who just coined this phrase minutes ago: “Two dumbs don’t make a smart.”

  • Aww when I was a Catholic this was always my favourite part of the service – the priest would say “Peace be with you” and I would perk up because it was time to shake the hands of everyone around you and say “Peace be with you” and I always got such a warm fuzzy feeling. And my dad would give me a big hug, good memories! This kinda makes me want to go back to that Church but the new priest there is super boring.

  • Red

    thats what we said when i was small in the anglican church. they later changed it to and also with you. here it’s the other way around

  • Danish Atheist

    They are really revolutionizing things.

    May I mention that the new translation matches exactly what you say in the danish protestant state church? And what have been said as part of the liturgy for as long as I remember…

    Maybe if they toss in a couple of “yo, dude” or something, it will work.

    But then, it is religion. It doesn’t have to make sense.

  • Doreen

    I’m mad a this for a totally different reason. Even if I’m an atheist, the eight years of Catholic school drilled the Mass into my head. They’re messing with my nostalgia for the ritual if they change it! Grrr, haha.

    Ah well, doesn’t matter in the end.

  • I’m all in favour of Catholic people gaining a deeper awareness of what Catholicism actually celebrates and believes. That’s how I stopped being Catholic.

  • “…it is religion. It doesn’t have to make sense.” What a great line.

  • Alan E.

    Well pi=ln(-1)/i, so that logic must be true!

  • I think they would be much better off if they took a page from Dogma’s Catholicism WOW Campaign and adopted the Buddy Christ as their mascot.

  • JohnJay

    @Aegis: I don’t know if that will work for everyone. Mark Twain said it best:

    “Faith is believing in something you know ain’t true”

  • Hipopotamo

    I have to concur with Danish Atheist. That translation (“And with your spirit”) is exactly the way the mass have been read in the Mexican churches for at least the last 20 years… Maybe the translation to English was different originaly due to idiomatic expressions?

    The peace-giving with hand-shakes has also always been there for me, and it was only when I attended masses at upper-classes churches that you’d get cheek-kissing (this custom is very well ingrained with upper level classes in Mexico)
    Anyway, most of the mass ritual was unfathomable for me. Ironically, it makes complete sense now that I am an atheist =)

  • Aguz

    In spanish, we have always had the “spirit” part… Since when is that new :\

    -“El Señor esté contigo”
    -“Y con tú espítiru”

    CHANGE FAIL.

  • JohnJay

    Now I recall what was said in the Latin days in the 60s (I used to play the organ at the 9am Mass when I was a teenager):

    Priest: Dominus vobiscum. (The Lord be with you)
    People: Et cum spiritu tuo. (and with your spirit)

    So Vatican II purposly mis-translated it to be more “mod” for Americans?

  • Mariela

    I actually think it’s weirder to say “and with your spirit” – so the lord is with “you”, normal people, but the priest is so much cooler that the lord is with the priest’s spirit instead? Isn’t the spirit supposed to be better than the physical person?

    That’s the way it’s been said in latin american masses for as long as I can remember, and I always thought it was strange.

    The more I think about it, the creepier the mass “dialogue” seems.

  • Anna

    Yes, really the translation is going deep into the past; ‘and with your spirit’ is what was said in the very earliest days of the church.

  • Jeff b.

    To keep up with the changing of the guard in congress, they are now also worshipping the aqua buddha

  • Ulrich

    In Germany, it’s also been “And with your spirit” for as long as I can remember. Funny they would use a different version in English.

  • I know that insufficient acknowledgement of the Priest’s spirit was certainly what was keeping me out of the Church.

  • Miko

    So they want you to have a “deeper awareness” of things that have no real meaning.

    I object to this characterization. The fact that something is not objectively true doesn’t necessarily mean that it doesn’t have real meaning. I’m sure that this has some significant meaning to Catholics. Of course, not being a Catholic, I have no clue what that meaning is.

  • bob42

    Suggestion:

    May George Carlin be with you…

  • sailor

    “I remember how changing from Latin to English really disenchanted a lot of people.”

    It seems to me if you are going chant and speak things that really make no sense to a rational person, it is much better to do it in Latin, it will then all sound wise and mysterious and stop people thinking “does that really make sense?

  • Sarah

    This new version has TERRIBLE flow. From a poetic standpoint, it is pure crap.

  • Sinfanti

    I prefer Cardinal Glick’s “Catholicism Wow” campaign.

  • Of all the sense this could make, that’s none of it.

  • Vanessa

    Eh, the Catholic Church is always changing stupid stuff like that. They spend money on these committees instead of, you know, helping poor people or something. Go figure.

  • Darryl

    During my Episcopal childhood, it was always “and with your spirit,” which didn’t make sense to me at the time, and doesn’t make any sense to me now. But I remember visiting the Catholic churches my friends went to and thinking that “and also with you” sounded lame and pedestrian in comparison with our Anglican version.

    In the Episcopal church, I was encouraged to pursue my musical gifts, and I got to hear a lot of great music, from Bach to Britten, from Mozart to Mendelssohn. I’m actually glad I had that experience, just as I’m sorry that my Dad got caught up in the born again end-times fervor of spirit-filled Evangelicalism in the Seventies, and THAT did not create warm fuzzy memories at all.

    Pizza be with you, with spirits.

  • Liz

    most Catholic churches i have been to said, “peace be with you” “and also with you” which i like a lot more. I always felt like I could go along with saying this without feeling like a hypocrite.

  • I kind of agree with Miko – this just seems to be piling on to an already-established point, that atheists think Catholic beliefs are silly. If you then call out something that they do within their silliness as being silly, but it’s only silly because of the greater silliness, that seems redundant. If it creates some kind of logical inconsistency within the Catholic-accepted “logic,” then sure, call out the hypocrisy. But this seems like criticizing them for rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, when their problem is they don’t know the ship is sinking. If their belief that the ship isn’t sinking was correct, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with rearranging the chairs.

  • Jim

    Also in the list of changes – Magic Catholic crackers, now made with 100% more Jebus! Mmm… Jebus…

  • muggle

    Speaking of rearranging chairs on the Titantic and not knowing the ship is sinking…

    Locally, the Catholic Schools are doing terribly. For some strange reason, enrollment is down. What’s the Catholic Church doing about this? Yeah, that’s right. Giving the schools a make-over. They’re redecorating and refurbishing.

    Because, you know, if they make the setting pretty, you’ll just by golly gee whiz want to send your kiddies into that nest of pedophiles.

  • it’s not really fair to leave out the musical notes as well. The priest wording changes, but the addition of the role of “DJ Vicar” to provide background scratching is the real change.
    …

    New: (Priest) The Lord be with you. (People) And with your spirit. (DJ Vicar) (scratch Gregorian Chant three times back and push forward) “All the newly-Confirmed ladies in the Church put they hands up!!!”

  • LinkSkywalker

    This is new?

    The Catholic church I attended prior to getting rid of my faith did this. And that was a long while ago.

  • Well I’m surprised that they seek responses from the congregation at all.

  • Kazeite

    In Poland, it’s also been “And
    with your spirit” for as long as I can remember, which is around 20 years.

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