What Should My Sign Say…? September 23, 2010

What Should My Sign Say…?

By Guest Contributor
September 23, 2010

It seems like everything has worked out and I’ll be able to attend the Jon Stewart “Rally to Restore Sanity”/Stephen Colbert “March To Keep Fear Alive” in Washington, D.C. on 10/30/10!

*Happy dance*

I am very excited, to say the least.

The only thing that would make it better is a clever poster to haul around.

I SEE YOUR POINT. AND YOURS, TOO.

I LIKE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE

I’M VERY HAPPY, EVERYONE!

SPELLCHECK IS YOUR FRIEND

I’M NOT SURE WHERE I STAND ON THIS ISSUE

I HADN’T CONSIDERED YOUR POINT OF VIEW

LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE

I must top those. So I’m putting out a call for suggestions!

What should my sign read at the rally?

Just to sweeten the incentive to submit your idea…

The best suggestion will receive a free shirt from the excellent Aristotle’s Muse online store. (There’s hilarious stuff there; check it out!)

Unlike other contests, this prize can be shipped to: the USA, the U.K., Canada, Australia, Japan, Germany, Spain, Brazil, Portugal, and France.

So enter!

There will also be a prize for a runner-up!

…

Side note: No doubt there will be a lot of atheists attending this event. It would be great to have a place to meet up with people before or after the rally (if that’s even possible). I don’t know the area around the National Mall too well, but if you have any suggestions regarding location and time, please let me know! We’ll figure something out and I’ll post information for a possible meetup soon 🙂

Meanwhile, the American Humanist Association is having an Open House at their offices on the Friday night before the rally for anyone who is interested!

***Update***: The winners are:

Deiloh with:

this is what lowercase looks like

And Silent Service with:

Please ask. We want to tell.

Congratulations to them both!

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nakor

    “We should discuss this over coffee sometime.”

  • Jeannette

    “I could go either way”

  • Luther

    -Morans-
    -Morons-
    More Reason!

  • Deiloh

    this is what lowercase looks like

  • CatBallou

    We the People = All of Us
    Even the Ones You Don’t Like

    (or words to that effect)

  • [Citation needed]

  • Sane people don’t go to rallies.

    *checks hotel reservations*

  • Casey

    “The guy behind me can’t see because of this sign” or simply “The guy behind me can’t see”

  • ehoffman

    Louder (insert not-equals sign) Smarter
    (It would totally look better if I knew how to type special characters. Going to go back to quietly lurking now.)

  • David

    No, no, obviously it needs to say:

    “SPELLCHECK IS YOUR FREIND”

  • Steve

    Arg! Adam Casey beat me to it. Damn you!
    http://xkcd.com/285/

    Or this:
    http://xkcd.com/470/

  • Feather

    I like Adam’s.

    Here’s mine:

    We’re the militant middle, and we vote!

  • Jeff

    I think you nailed it when you named this blog post:

    “What Should My Sign Say…?”

    or maybe

    “PROTESTING SOMETHING” with an arrow pointing down to you.

  • Nerdette

    You can’t steal my sign: “We’re not in the desert any more, Abraham.”

    It’s not as good as my old “Cthulhu Hates Chordates”, but I’m pleased with it.

  • Siamang

    I’ve always liked the absurd.

    How about “Wow, this sign is gettin’ kind of heavy!”

  • Not sure if this is the venue, but “Jesus was a communist” is always a good one.

  • It’s the Season for the Reason.

  • Katie

    How about “My arms are getting tired” Or “I like your shirt/pants” Or perhaps “Don’t harsh my mellow”

  • Dave B

    “Can we just agree that everyone’s Hitler and move on?”

  • How about something mathy? I’m fond of:

    e^(i pi) – 1 = 0

  • DIgital Cosmos

    I have an opinion.

    So do you.

  • “I’m reasonably upset and I’m not going to be complacent anymore!”

    “Give me liberty or give me Canadian citizenship.”

    “When I receive new information, I rethink my position. What do YOU do?” (Keynes paraphrase)

    “I’m a wishy-washy flip-flopper because I’m clean and casual.”

    “I’m on the fence so I can see better.”

    “My arms hurt.” or “I Support this Sign.”

    “Apathy is a careless endeavor.”

    “One Nation, Understand?”

    Okay, I’m done.

  • JoeBuddha

    I dunno; the Anti-Westboro Comic-Con sign, “Is This Thing On?” is full of win, but “Proud to be a Commie Fascist Gay-Aborting Athiest *” with “* where are the aborted babies? I’m STARVING!” in tiny print at the bottom right sounds good as well…

  • “I Support a Market Place of Ideas, Who Wants to Buy Mine?”

  • gski

    Want to be heard? Then listen.

  • Clyde

    “My frackin teeth hurt!”

    -George Washington-

  • Robert Thille

    “See other side for clever saying”
    (same thing on the other side)

  • Important Issues
    Don’t Fit On Signs.

  • Camus Dude

    I like Robert Thille’s idea. I would maybe do something self-referential like “This is a sign” but I don’t have any clever ideas at the moment.

  • Matt

    Kiss me I’m Irish
    Spellcheck is your fiend
    I’m up for a double-entendre
    Does this sign make me look fat?

  • Camus Dude

    Well, I suppose you could go Magritte and on your sign draw a picture of a sign with the caption “Ceci n’est pas une signe.”

  • “I’m not crazy about paying taxes, but I do like having sewers.”

    AGREED!!! Originally said by Jon Stewart when asked what the rally was all about and who would be there.

    Karen

    BTW..I am sooo jealous! Wish we could go.

  • Hangnail

    “I hate crowds”

    “is this the unemployment line?”

  • Mr. David M. Beyer

    “I disagree with that sign over there ->”

    “You’re probably right. I’m so sorry.”

    (Draw Venn Diagram: label one side “my opinion” and the other “your opinion” and then in the middle, “what you said.”)

    “What you said just now sort of makes sense, I guess.”

    “It’s okay if we disagree.”

    “I disagree, but I’m completely ignorant on the topic.”

  • Brian Westley

    “Kill all humans” (only if dressed as Bender)

  • Maria

    “I HAVE A SIGN.”

    Or

    “THAT’S A PRETTY NICE SIGN YOU’VE GOT.”

    Or

    “WAFFLES ARE DELICIOUS.”

  • NewEnglandBob

    “Who brought the duct tape?”

  • Jon Moles

    This rally gives reason to my fear

  • Fett101

    Down With Gravity
    Up With Signs

  • Rebecca Waller

    I’m an Atheist, not a douche bag.

  • MinistryOfLove

    Religion: Treat it like your penis. Don’t show it off in public, and don’t shove it down your children’s throats.

  • I’m terrified of unreasonableness.

    I like pie.

    I’m glad I don’t have any friends or I wouldn’t be able to do this.

    I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. (I know, it’s old.)

    My other sign is a billboard.

    Why can’t we be friends?

    Hey baby, what’s your sign?

    Why am I here?

  • Rebecca Waller

    Every day is worth chewing through the straps!

  • God hears all prayers.
    He asks that you shut up & just do it by yourself!

    or

    The END is nearer!

    I like:

    this is what lowercase looks like by Deiloh

    &

    is this the unemployment line? by Hangnail

  • Zoe

    “This is what the silent majority looks like.” (arrow down)

  • Hugh

    For the March to restore Sanity:

    I’m sane as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!

  • Evil Paul

    I own a Gun.
    I Left it at Home.

  • Tim

    “I LIKE SHARPIES!”

    “My other sign is a real life!”

    “Look at me!!! Look at me!!!”

    “Yelling, screaming, misspelled insult!”

  • “Hitler is Hitler!”

    With a big picture of Adolph Hitler. Be sure to use a black marker to draw an extra big Hitler mustache on Hitler’s face.

  • Hitch

    “I am lost”

    “A sign of humanity”

    “I want my country back, so we all can get ahead.”

    “If you can read this you are too smart for this rally.”

    “A sign of intellence”

    “There was nothing on TV, so I decided to come here.”

    “Smaller government! Most politicians are way too tall.”

  • JohnFrost

    I like this one ^_^

    Hey baby, what’s your sign?

  • Where’s Glenn Beck?

    Tea Party:Patriotism::Shut The Fuck Up!: You’re Mom
    Creationism:Science::Poison:Lunch

  • JohnFrost

    How about,

    “Don’t have a cow, man”

    Since you’re a vegetarian, that’s double laugh points ^_^

  • “Allahu Akbar or not”

  • Secular Stu

    “THIS SPACE FOR RENT”

    “Up with this sort of thing!”

  • Little James

  • “I prefer coffee”

  • Gary

    In response to Glenn Beck’s comment at his rally that “America today begins to turn back to God”, I suggest something like “Turn Back To Compassion”.

  • Clyde

    This is a rally for the unheard Americans. But first, a moment of silence…

  • HamsterWheel

    “Give Me Reasonable, Rational Solutions Or Give Me Death!”

    “Reasonable People Rise Up!”

    “Fear Fails, Reason Prevails!”

    “Colbert Is A Fascist Nazi Hitler Nazi!”

  • Jennifer Moore

    I need a like button. I like:
    “I’m reasonably upset and I’m not going to be complacent anymore!” and
    “Can we just agree that everyone’s Hitler and move on?”

  • Jennifer Moore

    And I love Secular Stu’s suggestions also. I need a love button.

  • Nancy

    “The Founding Fathers approve this rally”

  • pirmas407

    Fire Stations are Socialism (and that is okay).

  • Janet Marcum

    Glad to hear you’ll be making it to the rally! I look forward to a meet-up. I won’t be holding a sign, but I made a tshirt, “If you reddit, they will come” with Stewart and Colbert’s pictures on it. Can’t. Freakin. Wait.

  • KeithLM

    Along the line of what Scythe said but a little different. A picture of Hitler that says “Hitler was a Nazi”.

    The standard yellow smiley face with “Have a nice day” would be too.

    And finally:
    “m’eh”

  • Noodly1

    We are here!
    We are here!
    We are here!

  • catsnjags

    Guilt, fear, and mass insanity.
    Three cheers for Christianity.

  • Richard Wade

    I tend to like the irrelevant ones. You can also use them at Fred Phelps heckling parties:

    YOUR SLOGAN HERE
    HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU, KID!
    I FORGOT MY STATUE OF LIBERTY SUIT!
    AM I INSIDE THE BELTWAY OR OUT?
    SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS BEATLES.
    IF YOU CAN READ THIS, GOOD.
    LIMOUSINE FOR MR. JONES
    GROUND SIRLOIN $4.49/LB.
    LANE ENDS MERGE LEFT
    OH WAITER, CHECK PLEASE
    WHEN IS PITTSBURGH?
    HAVE SIGN, WILL TRAVEL
    READ MY LISP
    I USED TO BE DIFFERENT, NOW I’M THE SAME AS I WAS
    FRUITCAKE FOR HIRE, ANY PARTY

  • Nicole

    “This sign intentionally left blank.”

  • catsnjags

    Hemant,

    Don’t you have a yellow dogtag with a good front/back saying?

    just saying…

  • “nuke the feminist unborn gay whale mothers against drunk driving for christ”

  • John Takao Collier

    If you were looking for a meet-up place with food near the National Mall, I would suggest the “Old Post Office Tower” (you can find it on Google Maps). The old post office has been turned into an indoor mall (with a food court). Plus, the tower itself is part of the National Park System and is cool to tour (for free!). The tower, at 2/3 the height of the Washington Monument, has great views along Pennslyvania Ave and has significantly smaller crowds (i.e., shorter lines) than the Washington Monument.

  • On the Simpsons, the “protesters” were whistling and one held a sign, “Everything is fine.”
    I’d hold up a sign at Colbert’s rally, “You are America and so did I!”
    There’s no denying it.

  • Elena Villarreal

    God hates fangs. (True Blood reference.) Maybe draw a picture so people don’t get confused.

  • Tim

    “Intolerance will not be tolerated.”

  • Congressman Randy Forbes prays for overthrow of US Government!

    Obviously, this sign would work in the march to keep fear alive. Unfortunately, the sign is a comment regarding a sad reality.

    Yes, I’m pushing for non-believer, Wynne LeGrow.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/LeGrowForCongress

  • Alex

    “Oh boy is this great!!!”
    -Flounder

    Or

    UPSIDE DOWN (hold sign upside down)

  • Is there keyword moderation on this site?
    Twice I typed…

    I have O…b…a…ma..’s b..irth… c.ertif..icate!

    Both times it failed to print, but my other comments posted.

    Conspiracy or coincidence?

  • James

    My two cents…

    Wise man say, forgiveness is divine but never pay full price for late pizza.

    Insert witty remark here.

    Not Gay (but I’d totally do Jon Stewart)

  • The Tea Party = The Religious Right

  • Where is Jesus’s Birth Certificate?

  • CECI N’EST PAS UNE SIGN

  • If you can’t say anything nice, at least try to be noisy.

    Don’t panic.

  • Rawr

    Sign up for reason.

  • In Search of Jefferson’s America

  • Jagyr

    “The internet told me what to put on my sign”

    It’s a bit of a jab at teabaggers who know nothing about the issues, plus, it’d be totally true – we are telling you what to put on your sign. 🙂

  • Lisa C.

    Hi, MOM!

  • JulietEcho

    Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

    (it’s what the characters in South Park sometimes yell when they’re starting to riot or form a mob).

    Or, alternatively, “Punch and Pie!” or “FREE HAT.”

  • Ubi Dubium

    We are planning to be there, and are planning to rendezvous with, at the minimum, another Pastafarian or two. Maybe more. There is a smaller monument just to the north of the Monument grounds, right across the street, with a big flamey sword. I had suggested that as a nearby place to meet. There are no really good landmarks on the Monument Grounds except the Monument itself, which is not a good meeting place. The Old Post Office is a bit of a walk, the food court at the Reagan Building is closer if you are looking for someplace indoors to meet up.

    And Hemant, have you been lurking on the forums at Venganza? (And if you haven’t, why not?) Because I had already asked for sign ideas, and here you go getting me a shipload. Thanks!

    Also, how are you arriving? If you are flying in to Dulles, we could give you a lift, at least as far as the subway station.

  • Sock

    If Obama is like Hitler, then Hitler wasn’t that bad!

    “I am not afraid”, and include a picture of Eminem. Or an M&M, to show that you really don’t get it.

    Patriotism. You keep using this word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

    Isn’t tea time over yet?

    No one loves you, not even Jesus.

    “I’m angry!” and include swastikas, a mushroom cloud, a skull and cross bones, and a few frowny faces.

    The tea party is a liberal agenda to make all reasonable people never vote Republican!

    Republicans can lead us… into hell.

    Democrats can’t lead… but at least they can think.

  • Ibis

    Obama’s a Secret American
    Thinking is Free
    No Fear
    A Sign of Reason
    Calm the F**k Down!
    Enlightenment: It’s Taking A While, But We’ll Get There [or, Over 300 Years and Counting]

  • Anon

    “Stop The In-HANITY”
    “I Have an Open Mind”
    “Ideas Will Set You Free”
    “Take This and … Discuss Amongst Yourselves”
    “Wish You Were Here”
    “Don’t Believe Everything On TV”
    “I Believe in Righteous Debate”
    “Let’s Do Lunch”
    “I Can Compromise and So Can You”

  • Lysistrata

    Keep government in my insurance-I want to afford it.

  • Shouldn’t the joke be:

    SPELLCHECK IS YOUR FIEND ??

  • sc0tt

    REASON BEING…

    REFUND?!?!

    86 WOO

  • J Green

    Yes, I used deoderant this morning.

    or

    Sign Here

  • “Excuse me, I have nothing to say.” – George Carlin.

    “I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.” – Bugs Bunny

    How about a “secret” message like, “The Mongoose sleeps in pajama bottoms.”

    Up with Mini Skirts!

  • Pseudonym

    LEGALIZE POT

    No, just kidding. My real suggestions:

    I DON’T NORMALLY GO TO RALLIES AND I VOTE
    I HATE BUMPER STICKER CLICHES AND I VOTE
    I CONSIDER ISSUES ON THE MERITS AND I VOTE
    I’M NOT IN MY ELEMENT TODAY
    I’M ONLY HOLDING A SIGN SO I DON’T FEEL LEFT OUT
    YOU RAISE AN EXCELLENT POINT
    YOU MEAN WELL
    YOU HAVE GOOD MOTIVES FOR SAYING THAT
    SAY NO TO NAYSAYERS
    I’D REALLY LIKE YOU IF I GOT TO KNOW YOU
    IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T WRITE IT ON A SIGN
    WE JUST CAME FROM TO THE SMITHSONIAN. IT’S WELL WORTH SEEING.
    HONK IF YOUR HORN WORKS
    GOD, IF HE EXISTS, PROBABLY DOESN’T SUPPORT YOUR DOMESTIC POLITICAL POSITION
    COLBERT FOR NEWS PARODY ANCHOR
    MY ARMS ARE TIRED

    The last one works best if you hold it aloft.

  • flatlander100

    Question Authority! And That’s An Order!

  • flatlander100

    “It’s A Long Cow That Has No Tail!”

  • Jamssx

    All men are created equal – The most socialist phrase ever written.

    Does anyone in this country know that you need boiling water to make a good cup of tea?

    Jesus, and by Jesus I mean the figure venerated as the son of the Jewish god by those that adhere to the Christian faith and recognized by the Islamic faith as a prophet, not the guy that does your lawn, is a socialist.

    Elections, sometimes they suck.

    Leaf Tea is better.

  • Eskomo

    “HONK IF YOUR HORN WORKS”
    No, no, no. It should be
    HONK IF YOUR HORN DOESN’T WORK.

  • Saxon Brenton

    Look! Boobies! {printed over a picture of the seabirds of the same name}

  • WindyValkyrie

    “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

  • Pseudonym

    SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN

  • Richard P.

    babies and chocolate sauce
    Hmm Hmm Good

  • I’m not racist

  • Rebecca Waller

    Religion: A socially accepted mythology glorified by ignorance & perpetuated by lack of reasoning, logic & common sense.

  • Frameshift

    I had a couple of ideas. Enjoy:

    “Son Of An Ape.”

    “Hey Glenn Beck, Progressives Paid For Your Library!”

    “Godwin’s Law. Your Argument Is Invalid.”

    “The Tea Party is Made of Junk DNA.”

    “I Love Lamp!”

    “Three Words That Will Fix The Economy: Gay Bridal Registry.”

    “Still Waiting For Change.”

    And one that I think everyone can get behind:

    “Jon Stewart For President.”

    Have a blast.

  • Guffey

    I’m reasonable and I vote.

  • tennismom

    “I Have a Sign And You Don’t!”
    or
    “Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Atheist…
    Hate Me Cause I’m Beautiful!”
    or
    “Sign? What Sign? This Isn’t a Sign.”
    or
    “I Know My Parents Weren’t Glass Makers, and No I Won’t Move!”
    or
    “Here Kitty Kitty”

  • Gander

    “42” Douglas Adams
    Or,
    How many pinheads can dance on dreams of angels?

  • The nature of Monkey was irrepressible.

    or

    Stop looking at me.

  • Randy

    DON’T BLAME ME! I VOTED FOR KODOS!

  • “I HAVE A SIGN!”

  • Richard L

    In big friendly letters:

    “DON’T PANIC”

    It says everything!

    If you want to be true to the quote though, put “Wikipedia (please look it up)” on the other side. And have some silhouette of a face with a fish in it’s ear.

    For all the references:
    Don’t panic – the very nature of the rally and D. Adams, which is an indirect reference to Dawkins and atheism.
    Wikipedia – there are a lot of people spewing lies into debates today – you oppose that.
    Babelfish – translator, and a picture of a jesus-fish up someones ear, the disproof of God, silly looking picture and just generally fun.

    Ah, the art of destroying your own references *_^

    Have fun at the rally!

  • Sven

    THEY SAID THERE WOULD BE COFFEE!

  • I Believe in Reality.

  • “when did comedians become the sane ones?”

  • Itchyfeet

    If you think the bible is fiction – you are an atheist

    If you think god is not real – you are an atheist

    if you think – you are an atheist

  • Jon

    “I’m too apathetic to be part of this rally”

    “Jon Stewart is god”

    “I’m Hemant and so is my wife”

    “Why are we holding these placards?”

  • Tony

    “Down with this sort of thing!” along with “careful now”.

    Or attach a towel to your sign. On the towel should be the words “DON’T PANIC”.

  • Norbury

    “Careful Now” (Father Ted)
    Or
    “Just goes to show, you can’t be too careful” (David Mitchell I think)

  • Pony

    A picture of Stewart and Colbert, with the caption “RAD BROMANCE”

  • Claudia

    Yay! I can participate this time! I’m going to flex my very small photoshop muscles…

    My contribution is this.

  • ash

    My favourites so far are;

    “[citation needed]”

    “Don’t Panic”

    My suggestions;

    “I was promised Pi!” (misspelling intentional)

    “Tolerance =/= Blind acceptance”

  • Pony

    And Richard Wade, Hemant is a mathematician, so it should be “Here’s looking at Euclid”.

  • Gavin

    My personal favorite has always been:
    “Death to All Fanatics”

    Although I think

    “If your mouth ever stops moving your brain might start working”
    is also a good one.

  • Mareike

    Put a picture of Waldo (Where’s Waldo?) on it.

  • Ceryle

    Woo hoo, i can join in too (from aus)

    Does this sign make my opinion look too big?

  • Angela

    “Don’t believe everything you read on a sign.”

  • Angela

    Oh, also: “I am offended by that sign –>”

  • JoeBuddha

    “Hi, Mom!”?

  • Danish Atheist

    “Dette skilt er mega sejt!”

  • “Open your mind (but don’t let your brain fall out)”
    “Question everything – especially this sign”
    “Question everything – especially me”
    “Always consider the other side as well” (on both sides of the sign, of course)
    “I’m willing to be convinced”
    “The Cake is a Lie” (can’t believe I’m the first here to suggest this one)
    “Non Sequitur”
    “This sign does not contain a logical fallacy”
    “The Dictionary Is A Good Book Too”
    “Is this the right place for an argument?”
    “I don’t know where we’re going either”
    “Trying to stay sane while offline”

    And finally:
    “Sorry, couldn’t come up with a wittier sign”

  • “Anal Johnson is right!”

  • Greg

    Okay, I’ll go for silly ones…

    “You can’t get laid back without getting laid first!”

    “This space for rent.”

    “Are you paying too much for your car insurance?”

    (Although that one might be a U.K. only reference I suppose…)

    “My other sign’s a bumper sticker.”

    “Do you know this man?”

    “Where do I sign?”

    “I have trouble writing the letter .”

  • OK, one more: “I got 100s of great ideas for a sign, but I could only carry this one”

  • littlejohn

    My late father, who worked for a newspaper, used to have a rubber stamp the read “You may be right.”
    When he received a letter to the editor that was too batshit to publish, he would stamp it and send it back to the writer.

  • Silent Service

    I can’t go, but I would love for my sign to be seen at the rally,

    “Please ask. We want to tell.”

  • Parse

    “FREE CTHULHU*!
    *with purchase of second Cthulhu of equal or greater value”

    “I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE”
    (To which the only natural response is ‘Covered with bees!’)

    Or, if you’d rather go with a more classical reference (to Rene Magritte), “CE N’EST PAS UN SIGNE”

  • “Where’s the goddamn tea?!”

  • EJ94

    Considering the date, maybe a Halloween theme?

    I believe…in the Great Pumpkin.

    or

    I like Halloween candy, and I bet you do too.

  • Matto the Hun

    How about
    “Less Filling!
    Tastes Great!”

  • Steven

    Fantasic ideas for signs in the comments. I don’t envy Hemant having to pick just one. Here are a few more to make it more difficult:

    “Sanity is IN”
    “Where’s the organic, free-range beef?”
    “What part of friendly didn’t you get?”
    “Rationality is catching”
    “You don’t scare me, pal – look over there!”
    “Sign of things to come”
    “Will reason for food”
    “I like pi”
    “No shoes, no shirt, no services”
    “Hah, made you look!”
    “If you can read this sign…congratulations”
    “This is a blank sign”
    “Give me freedom or give me fermat”
    “Can you believe those other signs?!”
    “Mind the gap”
    “Yes, I am that good looking”
    “Open minds fill empty lives”

    This is fun, but I should do some real work just to keep in practice.

  • “Heck no, I’ve gotta go!”
    [With a stickman holding his knees together in the gotta go position]

    “I support this cause… for $9.95 an hour”

    “I was told I’d get a free t-shirt”

  • coyotenose

    To pander to the blogger…

    “MATH PROVES INTELLIGENT 2-D SINE”
    (with accompanying wave sketch)

    Of course, since I’m not a mathematician, that may just look stupid instead of punny.

  • Alice

    Draw a big swirly mustache on a picture of Obama or Bush. Underneath it should say “Mustaches are cool”, or even just a sign saying “You would look good with a mustache.”

  • ATL-Apostate

    “SOMETHING ABOUT TAXES!!”
    “PICKLES GIVE ME GAS”

    note: all caps are not required, but everyone knows a good protest sign contains at least one all caps word.

  • JB Tait

    Picture of a plastic sandal, flounder, or possibly an LM7473 schematic:

    My friend who disagrees with me couldn’t be here, so I represent her opinion too.

    I also favor

    when did comedians become the sane ones?

    Does this sign make my opinion look too big?

    Please ask. We want to tell.

  • Revyloution

    I really wish I could go to this event. If anyone is still looking for a good protest sign idea, I think I have a winner.

    Get yourself one of those little BBQ’s, an apron, a spatula, and some holy books. Just sit there, BBQing the Kora, Bible, or any other dogma.

  • Dusty

    FUSION – PRO AND CON

  • Martin

    “I’m really happy for you and i’ma let you finish, but!”

  • Martin

    Actually, Just go with a sign that reads

    “First!”

  • Joe

    “I like cheese”

    There was a kid with that sign at the protests for Farenheit 911 at my local theater a few years back. I thought it was very funny.

  • “I’d argue with you, but I got shit to do.”

    “Oh, I didn’t know there was a rally today”

    “Member of Obama’s secret sleeper cell” – with arrow pointing to you.

    Not funny but “Free hugs from an Atheist” or “Free hugs from a reasonable person” and actually give out hugs.

    “I’d take a stand, but sitting is so much less work”

    “I couldn’t think of a reason to be here”

  • Jeff

    WILL SPREAD FEAR FOR FOOD.

  • Dang, JulietEcho beat me to “I was told there’d be punch and pie.”

    I was also considering “I changed a poopy diaper today, and I vote.”

  • For the Colbert rally — “Obama is a secret grizzly.”

  • Karl

    “Would you like a cookie?”

    (or, if you’re a Doctor Who fan)

    “Would you like a jellybaby?”

    Bonus points for carrying some of these and handing them out to people who answer “yes”. 🙂

  • A picture of Samuel Jackson
    “Unless you are him, you shouldn’t shout.”

    More controversial: A picture of Hitler.
    “This is Hitler, any questions?”

    For the Colbert rally, I’m going with a plain and simple “BOO!”

  • Hybrid

    My thoughts:

    “DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY!”
    “GET OFF MY LAWN”
    “HITLER NAZI ANAGRAM: ZIT INHALER. COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT!!”
    “LOOK AT THESE FRAKING HIPSTERS!”
    “JUST DROPPED THE KIDS OFF AT THE FEMA CAMP”
    “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE!”

  • Benoit

    In big letters:

    THIS SIGN IS TOO SMA

  • “There’s a sign for that” (in the spirit of the phrase “There’s an app for that”)

    “I Bet You $1.00 that you will read this sign” (saw this one last night downtown SLC)

    “Taxidermy: It’s Change I can bereave in”

  • Don’t read this sign.

    I’m not INsane. I’m totally out of it.

    You just lost the game.

    There’s nothing to fear but losing fear.

    STFU

    I don’t vote, and I vote.

    Ask me about my blog.

    I’d say “Eat more chickn” or however they spell it, but you’re a vegetarian.

  • Trixie

    “Ask me about my sign”

  • “Grammar are important”

  • Don

    “We demand pancake mix!”

  • Robin Ferguson

    My daughter torments my son with “You just lost the game” every chance she gets.

    I also like Sock’s homage to Princess Bride:
    “Patriotism, you keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

    My contribution: Draw a chalkboard and write: One nation indivisble

  • ManaCostly

    “Bio-degradeble.”

    “Help, I’m surrounded.”

    “Dont be a meanie!”

  • Karl

    “I cannot tolerate intolerance”

  • Steph F

    PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!! [Simpsons reference]

    HEY LOOK, AN INTERRACIAL GAY COUPLE BURNING THE AMERICAN FLAG! [Family Guy reference]

    I can haz sign??

    Stop! Hammertime!

    What does this mean?? (With a picture of a double rainbow) [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI ]

    Don’t Hassel the Hoff!

    WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU FIND A NEW GOD! [Picnicface http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk ]

  • Jeff Purser

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  • Jeff Alcoforado

    [Citation Needed]

    Ditto

  • stephanie

    How about a more personal joke like:

    THIS RALLY JUST GOT MEHTA

  • jen

    Atheism: A non-Prophet Organization

  • How about:

    I BELIEVE THAT _________
    BUT I AM OPEN TO HEARING AND DISCUSSING EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY

    (Fill in the blank with whatever you want. For an atheist-theme, “THERE IS NO GOD” would be appropriate.)

  • Support Zen Druids!
    Pray to trees that are not really there!

  • Charles Miller

    Where’s the nearest port-a-potty?

  • Charles Miller

    If only Charlton Heston were here.

  • ursulamajor

    So far I’ve seen two variations of this one:

    “Intolerant of the Intolerant”

    I’ve had this printed on my checks before.
    I’ll be using it, so sorry Hemant.

  • ursulamajor

    How about a more personal joke like:

    THIS RALLY JUST GOT MEHTA

    This is a winner!

  • DemetriusOfPharos

    I’m reasonably certain that your position is valid, and I would like to discuss it with you over drinks!

    Die Gedanken Sind Frei

    My other sign is witty

    We’re here, we’re reasonable, and we’d appreciate it if you could accept that peacefully!

    *This space intentionally left blank*

    I wonder whats on TV?

    Hitler was a Nazi! (complete with cheesy mustache drawing)

    Glenn Beck seems like a nice, misguided bloke in need of a hug and perhaps some prozac!

    Would you like to pet my monkey? (helpful if you had a stuffed monkey to carry around)

  • Heckler

    I brought a library book to this knife fight

    America: Land of the twee, home of the rave

    Give me liberty! Please? Thank you!

  • “Gorbachev sings tractors! Turnip! Buttocks!”

    (A Bloom County reference from the 80s)

  • Dylan

    ‘I’m in it for the lulz.’

  • nowoo

    Ok, let’s proportion our belief to the evidence.

  • Julie

    Couldn’t make it to the rally, so I thought I’d send a SIGN. (FSM)

  • L. Foster

    I especially like [citation needed]

    and

    YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!!

  • RollTheBones

    It’s been posted but I was going with the

    BOO!

    sign for the Keep Fear Alive poster and

    Follow the Gourd! (and opposite side),

    Follow the Shoe!

    from Monty Python’s, Life of Brian for the Restoring Sanity poster.

  • PapaJay

    “Did I hear someone say ‘Donuts'”

  • reeniebean

    friendly atheist!

    (with an arrow pointing down)

    That way you can represent.

  • DreamDevil

    “Freebird!!!”

  • Pseudonym

    NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

    There’s almost certainly going to be more than one person rick-rolling the event, so perhaps this is a bad idea.

  • AgentsofGoldstein

    E pluribus unum

  • Infinite Monkey

    What am I supporting again?

    I support your cause because you said so!

    HI MOM!

    I thought there would be punch and pie here!

    SEA MONKIES!!!

    NO MORE MISSPELLED SINES!

  • Greetings,

    I am a member of the University of Georgia’s atheist group, a service oriented student body, and will be attending the October 30th rallies in DC. The Natural History museum abuts the National Mall and would be, in my estimation, an appropriate place for us atheists to make camp. Additionally, the museum is near many restaurants and a few coffee shops in the event that someone, or someones, wanted to retire for a coffee and food. Cheers!

  • Pseudonym

    Oh, thought of another one. This is in keeping with the spirit of FA as well as the Stewart rally:

    FORGET GOD. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

  • -I was mad ’til I checked the facts.
    -Restore Raisin
    -No foxnews is good news
    -Boycott fear mongers (network logos?)
    -“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” — Sinclair Lewis (?)
    -I was mad ’til I stopped watching the news.
    -The old deities aren’t working, let’s make (or make up) some new ones.
    -I can no longer decide who is more wrong.
    -“…the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion…” Treaty of Tripoli 1797
    -Willful ignorance is still ignorance
    -Wishful thinking is the substance of things hoped for
    -It is only by faith that we may be fooled
    -Keep Jefferson in the text books
    -Texas School Board, America is ashamed of you
    -Stop shouting… um, please?
    GOD HATES CRABS (leviticus 11:12)
    -Speak up, just a little.
    -No Pot? No Tea Party.
    -Want to lose my vote? Try to scare me.
    -I have unqualified unreasonable belief in you.
    -Remind me what you mean by “fact.”
    -Hey Mister, you forgot your sign.
    -He was all like “Yahweh!” and I was like “No way.”
    -He who is least of my brothers doesn’t have a lobby.
    -Turnover now, preferably apple
    -Who do you have to blow to get press credentials?
    -I can’t picture mohamed here. Can you draw him?
    (alternative)
    -DRAW ~blank vertical space~ MOHAMED
    -Are ya gettin’ this, camera guy?
    -Thanks to Bush I can watch foxnews 24/7
    -Thanks to Bush I didn’t have to miss work today.
    -No reasonable person ever called me “heathen”
    -Without fear and anger how will I rant?
    -Prayer not working? Sacrifice a goat… or kid.

  • Sirius Lunacy

    Does this opinion make my head look fat?

  • Sirius Lunacy

    If you choose to March to Keep Fear Alive perhaps you could go with…

    Don’t Abort Your Fears!

    Adopt Mine.

  • There are some really good ones in there. I especially like the Fr Ted references.

    “I came all the way from Gdansk” (another Fr Ted-ish reference)
    “They are all individuals, but I’m not” (Life of Brian paraphrase);
    “There is no doom” (Matrix paraphrase);
    “Glasses make you sexy” (I have a tshirt with that slogan);
    “I will do Science to it” (ditto); or
    “I got this slogan off a tshirt”

  • Elliott

    Try this one:

    Side One: Sarah Palin is a Bear (with a picture of a Grizzly with glasses.)

    Side Two: Sarah Palin is Bare (Picture with a plain bear)

    Now momma grizzly already claims to be a bear and we know bears are the most terrifying thing in the world (according to Stephen)

  • tina

    I Like Turtles

  • The contest is over and the winners have been notified. Thanks, everyone! Hardest contest *ever* to judge…

  • Amerigo Agosto

    http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r58/zippizoo_photo/love-screwing-with-people–FBgroup.gif Went with a look of monochromatic antiquity to give the illusion of credibility riding on the coat-tales of history… and the silhouette looking like a stamp is a desperate attempt at making ‘tomfoolery’ a Brand… as well as a symbol of anonymous acts of hijinks by the omnipresence of the eternal prankster. Maybe add a line underneath in a smaller font “I fully endorse this message” to give it more of a satirical political feel.

  • Amerigo Agosto

    A tweak worth further consideration; by knocking down the font size on ‘…with people who have no sense of humor or justice’ the ‘I love screwing’ becomes more prominent, which from a glance/distance commands more attention, and in turn within itself is an act of ‘screwing with people’. 😉 http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r58/zippizoo_photo/love-screwing-with-people–aristole-muse.gif

  • Silent Service

    Thank you Hemant,

    I understand why you didn’t want to carry the “Do Ask” sign. I’m quite happy as runner up. But I am understandably curious. Who’s banner will you be showing in DC?

  • I understand why you didn’t want to carry the “Do Ask” sign. I’m quite happy as runner up. But I am understandably curious. Who’s banner will you be showing in DC?

    That is still to be decided. There are a number of them I thought were hilarious or poignant as well as relevant to me 🙂

  • Silent Service

    So what you’re saying is you’re not telling until after the event. That’s cool.

  • Theojazz

    Moderation is the new absolutism–definitely

    I have half a mind to ….. cheer Glenn Beck

    Cooling it is the new patriotism

  • whisssper

    This is not a sign

  • David Fisher

    Dogma is a bitch.

    Respect the Sanctity of Doubt.

    Jesus was a Jew so why aren’t you?

    Reasons Greetings!

  • Sylvia

    HIDE YOUR KIDS

    HIDE YOUR WIFE

  • Paul

    Man is good, Man is great.

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