Religion Is Like… September 7, 2010

Religion Is Like…

(via Joe. My. God.)

Random story from the classroom:

A couple years ago, I taught a remedial math class where some of the boys would draw penises on everything (maybe because Superbad had come out not long before…). It was very disturbing. I talked to them, their counselors, their parents. Nothing seemed to help.

Anyway, this really sweet girl asked me after class one day, “Mr. Mehta, I don’t get it. Why do they draw boy parts on everything? Why don’t they ever draw girl parts?”

In my head, I wanted to say, “Because they’ve never seen girl parts.”

But I kept my mouth shut… and told her, “I have no idea…”

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Love the analogy.

    Re the penis drawer:

    Why do some kids do this? Seriously, what is behind this? Is it the teenage version of boy toddlers playing with their naughty bits?

  • I like the analogy, people also like to claim that their’s is actually bigger, better and more desirable than anyone else’s.

  • Ron in Houston

    Joe’s graphic is moderately funny; however, the tasteless aspect makes it a lot less funny to me.

    You’re story is great. Probably more cute than funny but I liked it.

  • Hitch

    The poster to be shelved under: Not subtle.

  • Good thing I wasn’t drinking or eating when I read this post!!! Too funny!!!!

  • rbray18

    i like the poster myself,but then this virgin isn’t as afraid of sex and mentioning of naughty bits as some who have had sex it seems,though i think if possible there needs to be a female analogue,though that would cause a uproar,now i want it even more lol

  • Alycia

    Yeah, it was funny until the “down my children’s throats” bit.

  • Sarah

    and don’t assume that everyone has one!

  • Unfortunately, I and most of us here are guilty of the same regarding our non-belief.

    Stating the obvious – that we are forced to do so in order to protect ourselves from the infringement of religious persons on our own lives does not change the fact that we are doing the same thing.

    …and I won’t stop until we are free to live our life without religious interference.

  • I love how it takes nice language (including Please) and forms a vulgar image in your head, rather than just using vulgar language.

  • bob

    Slightly off topic, but humorous. Here’s a gift suggestion on what to get Hemant for his birthday.

  • Steve

    Best analogy ever.

    Also: some people are fine without penises

  • jose

    Francisco Ayala says science is compatible with his penis.

  • TychaBrahe

    George Carlin was slightly more subtle with his “Religion is like a lift in your shoe,” and ending with the admonition, “And don’t go around nailing shoes to the natives’ feet.”

    I might joke that the boys’ drawings were much like the cave paintings in Lasceaux. When we affix it to the wall, we gain power over it.

    But Get Fuzzy has been doing a Lasceaux gag.

  • Michelangelo

    For people offended by the last line, it’s an analogy from the beginning. In that context, getting up on your high horse is silly. What was funny about that line was the comparison of religion to a penis, same as the rest of the analogy, not the actual idea of someone doing that to a kid.

    People act like certain things equal automatically offensive no matter what. And sure, if you don’t like thinking that’s an easy way to go through life, but it’s a bit ridiculous.

    Seriously though, this inability (unwillingness?) to understand the importance of context is going to ruin society someday.

  • Drew M.

    This is why I would make a horrible teacher. I would’ve let fly with the, “Because they’ve never seen girl parts.”

  • Silent Service

    Silent Service,

    People should be offended by that last line, but not because they don’t like the implication. They should be offended because the implication is far too relevant considering the long known problem in various churches, not just the Catholic Church.

  • Jagyr

    BWAHAHAHA! I love the poster!

    And why is Silent Service talking to him/herself?

  • Jagyr


    Francisco Ayala says science is compatible with his penis.

    Many a skeptic refuses to think critically about his penis because he finds it comforting and he doesn’t want it to disappear.

  • Is this where I’m supposed to be sad that I have neither a penis nor a religion?

    *looks Down*

    Breasts are pretty cool though.

    *tries not to distract others*


  • Crux Australis

    I agree with Fiona. Breasts *are* pretty cool. Hey, you’re not my ex, are you?

  • Crux Australis

    Consider me distracted.

  • Secular Stu

    “Do you have religion in you? Would you like some?”

  • jose


    ‘Do not try and bend it. That’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.’

    ‘What truth?’

    ‘There is no penis.’

  • Jagyr


    You will be getting a bill from my therapist for the mental damage caused by imagining Keanu Reeves trying to bend his own penis.

  • So….THAT’S why I’m an atheist AND a lesbian!

  • Hitch

    Give the whole “don’t be a dick” campaign a whole different spin too 😛

  • Brian Macker

    “This is why I would make a horrible teacher. I would’ve let fly with the, ‘Because they’ve never seen girl parts.'”

    Why would that make you a terrible teacher? It would have given ammo to the girl with which to make fun of the misbehaving boys. She asked an honest question and that is an honest plausible answer.

    Of course, the same imbeciles also tend to draw girl parts once they learn what they look like.

    So the full honest answer is: “Because they haven’t seen girl parts but once they do they’ll start drawing those.”

  • Happy to be your ex, if you like. Need to get together 1st…

  • Silent Service

    Jagyr said, “And why is Silent Service talking to him/herself?”

    I don’t know. I do it all the time in the analog world. I guess I’m starting to do it in the real world now too.

  • Margaret

    I like the poster. I think I will make miniature copies onto cards and leave them lying around in public places. Spread the word.

  • L. Foster

    OK without a penis?

    You’re not alone.

  • A couple years ago, I taught a remedial math class where some of the boys would draw penises on everything. It was very disturbing.” – WHY do you label that disturbing??? Why are certain natural parts of our bodies “bad” or “disturbing“??? I would have expected more reason from a fellow skeptic… IMO, forcing this awful notion of sex being in any way bad or a sin (oh-oh?) leads to sexual crimes and problems! It may be time for us to THINK about that issue and not simply blindly follow the way the “old” monkeys did it… Where does this sexual oppression come from?

  • Where does this sexual oppression come from?

    Mostly from religion. Abrahamic religions in particular have a very strong view on sex.

  • noisician

    Sir, you degrade penises everywhere by comparing them to religions.


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