The Power (Lines) of Christ September 3, 2010

The Power (Lines) of Christ

By Guest Contributor
September 3, 2010

How desperate do you have to be to think that a telephone pole covered in vines is really a sign from Jesus?

Contrary to the man’s assertions, driving more slowly past the pole doesn’t make me any more gullible.

And why the hell is MSNBC wasting time on this guy?

(via Atheist Media Blog — Thanks to Ashley for the link!)

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  • The MSNBC man said that I have to make the call on that one. I call B.S. Everyone knows Jesus only appears in toast.

  • Maybe if the bush below it were burning, then you would believe it was a sign from god! Surely, you can’t deny the power of two miracles!! 😀

  • Danny wuvs kittens

    I can see it clearly, but c,mon, how many vine covered poles are there? Its coincidence. Unlikely coincidence, but still, coincidence.

    Oh, and if God can make vines grow to comfort us, how about putting a giant glowing sign in the sky that goes on 24/7 for a week and says “I am God and I am real”.

    Then maybe we wouldn’t go to hell for not believing based on the lack of evidence for a God and the amount of evidence against a God.

  • NGW

    I wonder if the vines are poison ivy/oak?? LOL

  • The vines will eventually make their way up to the insulators and burn the poll down and cause a power outage. Would that be a sign that God wants us to live in the dark ages?

  • [southern baptist preacher voice – on]

    Is it not apparent to you heathens.
    God wants all true believers to go up and clasp hands with his son Jesus.
    Just reach out and hold his hands.
    I will build the ladder for you!.

    /Sarcasm.

  • Drive by slowly, but not stop? Well, don’t want to stop and look too closely or to long, since it ruins the illusion.

  • I was totally unconvinced until that halo of white light appeared around the pole, bathing it in an inspiring glow, proving beyond a doubt that it was indeed a true…

    what?

    added by the news crew?

    never mind.

    (MSNBC should have “never minded” as well. Nothing new here, just another “in the field” example of our brains’ ability to make patterns where they aren’t)

  • Wow… where will the image of Jesus show up next? The lid of a Marmite jar? Oh wait, that already happened.

  • Jagyr

    So you’ve got vines that grow into big bunches in the general shape of whatever tree/structure they grow on. Then you’ve got a telephone pole that was designed by humans to be reminiscent of a cross.

    What kind of numbnut sees a miracle when the vines grow into a lumpy cross shape?

    This is like the “WTC cross” at Ground Zero – it’s something made in the shape of a cross and designed to resist destruction. Any reasonable observer would expect it to be there after the collapse.

    Why is it that naturally occurring crosses are proof of the validity of Christianity, but naturally occurring circles are never proof of the validity of Zen Buddhism?

  • adam

    I hate these things I can never see Jesus in them, this just looks like vines to me

    And seriously a “message of hope”

    It’s f***ing plants!

    a message of hope would be medicine descending from on high or a day were all fighting was prohibited

    This is just sad

  • Jagyr

    Mandi –

    Wow… where will the image of Jesus show up next? The lid of a Marmite jar? Oh wait, that already happened.

    Holy crap, that’s hilarious! Also, I approve of the title of your website.

    Adam –

    I hate these things I can never see Jesus in them, this just looks like plants to me

    “It’s a fucking sailboat!”

  • adam

    Jagyr Says:

    “It’s a fucking sailboat!”

    lol

    I can make out the arms but when I look at were the head and body should be It just looks like some vines wrapped around a pole, unless Jesus put on some weight in heaven.

  • Cheryl

    Let’s all drive by slowly and point and laugh at Ricky Navarre.

  • tabularasa

    Wow ….. that’s amazing.
    I see an image of Darwin’s face, but with a long beard.

    Or is it shaped like a transition fossil, showing the link between dinosaurs and birds. See the feather imprints on the base of the tail!?
    Or is it …….

  • Chas

    why the hell is MSNBC wasting time on this guy?

    Quick easy human interest story

  • I said it when I saw it and I’ll say it here.

    That’s not Jesus on that cross. It’s clearly the Swamp Thing.

  • Ben

    “A sign of comfort”???? When I saw that I actually became a little fearful. Not because I’m an atheist and am concerned that God will smite me, but that when I die, I can’t think of a worse thing than to have to praise God for eternity! Sounds like hell to me!

  • Matt

    Little lambs eat ivy. Jesus is the lamb of god. Jesus is ivy. Jesus eats himself. Jesus is really telling us cannibalism is OK!

  • Vas

    Sorry but I see it… Okay granted I see an anthropomorphic phone pole, and I see a cross, and a guy on it, and the most famous guy on a cross is that Jesus guy, so it makes sense to me, kinda looks like the dead Jesus to me. Do I know it’s not really Jesus? Sure but what the F, looks more like Jesus to me than any of that Manson toast or hippie yest spread lids. I once had a closet door that looked like the face of an angry Anthony Quinn, (try sleeping with that) so I guess they coined the term anthropomorphic for a reason… ya think? Okay I’ll even grant you that it is not a “sign” but it sure do look like Jesus.
    Just saying that’s all.
    V

  • What a lame-ass God is. That’s the best “sign” he can give us, vines growing?

    Oh, right. Mysterious ways, etc., etc.

  • Aguz

    In ancient times Jesus was less know by his gardening related miracles.

  • Kamaka

    “I’m lookin’ over ya. I’m gonna answer your prayers.”

    Ummm, excuse me sir, when exactly was the last time your prayers were answered?

    The vine guy needs a dope-slap. Double for the “reporter”. (And just how does that fool get air time?) (Oh, perhaps he’s a sly atheist!)

    Pardon me while I go eat the jesus face that appeared in my lasagne.

  • People see Jesus in vines… or toast… or jar lids…

    People see the “word of God” in old writings called scriptures.

    Its all the same thing…

  • Sarah

    Why can’t people just say “Neato!” when they see these things instead of calling them miraculous?

    In addition, if that’s Jesus, why are his thighs so fat?

  • Nakor

    I kinda wonder if this was one of those cases where a rookie reporter was told to go do X and didn’t really have a say in being stuck with the crap story.

    Also, GASP! The vines grew in the same general shape of a cross-shaped pole and bulged in the middle appearing to hang from it! What could this entirely likely series of events mean?!

    Double rainbow all the way cross the sky~~

  • sc0tt

    I see a chupacabras!

  • 3D

    And why the hell is MSNBC wasting time on this guy?

    I wouldn’t mind them covering this stuff, if it was to make fun of these idiots.

    The fact that they go “Is it real?! YOU DECIDE!” is so offensive to me.

  • It is so easy. It’s jesus saying “live green.” Yeah, that is it. Everyone should be an environmentalist!

    Put down your sword and go plant some grapes.

    Oh, and you crazy gapers, don’t drive too slow or you may cause a serious accident. You don’t want to kill someone while you are looking for jesus.

  • Jon Peterson

    O hay look! Vines grew on a telephone pole in the shape of a telephone pole!

    IMAGINE THAT.

    /sigh. To quote myself: “If you’re looking for an idea, YOU WILL FIND IT (despite any and all evidence to the contrary).”

  • littlejohn

    They cut the thing down, but on the third day, it returned.
    Fortunately, someone saved the shroud.

  • Angela

    maybe it’s like those magic eye pictures. i could never see those either…

  • It’s not a wonder other nations laugh at us.

  • Atom Jack

    Cat’s Staff, those vines are already close enough to cause serious creepage. There’s a lineman out there with his work cut out for him. Not fun. Just a little water condensation and the thing’s shorted out. Possibly killing said lineman. Damn jeebus, out there killin’ honest workers, yet again, and getting cred for…what?

  • aerie

    I don’t apologize for loons that live here in the south. They deserve to be mocked. Like them, the kudzu is just as prolific.

  • Jen

    Wait just a sec! After some local murders and “the sickness in the world,” Jesus is just hanging out there doing nothing? Where was he *before* those murders?

  • ATL-Apostate

    The vines on the tree outside my office make it look like a cock-and-balls.

    Must be a sign…

    but from whom?

  • chris

    What a disgusting religion: That looks like Jesus, a-hanging from that telephone pole. Hee-yuck!

  • jcm

    Pareidolia/apophenia: 1
    Human intuition (e.g. common sense): 0

  • Well, if you squint, tilt your head to the side, and take a big rip off the bong, yeah… it kinda looks like Jesus.

  • I wouldn’t mind them covering this stuff, if it was to make fun of these idiots.

    The fact that they go “Is it real?! YOU DECIDE!” is so offensive to me.

    television is evil, and that’s on purpose. television exists, among other oppressive reasons, to reinforce superstition and religious idiocy. it’s also there to distract people from a myriad of stories about how a small group of rich people are busy raping and pillaging this country’s heritage and future. but it’s “funny” so people pay to watch it.

  • Ex Partiot

    I would suspect that he has gone off his meds

  • gsw

    IT MEANS HE APPROVES OF TECHNOLOGY AND LOVES WOMEN AND GAYS!

  • blueridgelady

    This is so full of stupid. Every part of it.

    -Vines grow and take over things. Shockingly, they cover and keep the shape of the things underneath them. In this miracle, you can see the wooden beams where the “arms” are.

    -Jesus wasn’t the only person ever crucified. Christians seem to forget this all the time. It was a common method of Roman execution.
    -How in the world would this guy know what Jesus looked like? He most likely looked like a 1st Century Jewish man, because that’s what he was. I don’t recall him being green.

  • Chuck

    The reason the vines grew out to the side like arms is because of the boards that are visible under the vines in the close-ups. Other nearby poles do not have them, so nutjob assumes they grew out into thin air to the top of pole by some miracle.

  • Andrew

    Now that’s what I call divine

  • muggle

    lol, is there seriously so little going on in the world, MSNBC? Somehow I doubt it.

    James, lol, on that fine imitation. It made me think of this song, which I’ve always found funny as hell.

  • sky dog

    Obviously those posting on this site are not familiar with New. 14:23-35 where the prophet Alphred E. says to the supplicants in the field, “wherefore the second coming of the kudzu christ ariseth, it shall creep. It will attaineth high stature, amongst the Nephrites, the Onanites, and the Poles.”

  • blue island in a red state

    I’m from California. I went to high school with guys named Jesus. Oh, wait a minute… that’s not Jesus of Fresno! What, he moved to Nazareth? Of course, Pennsylvania. Started a religion too you say, really? Sigh… I have so much trouble keeping up. I suppose that next you’ll be telling me that Martin Luther wasn’t American after all and that he was really just a medieval German with an anger management problem. You crazy guys!

  • All I can see is some gullible numb-nuts.

  • Vas

    Jesus of Fresno

    I vote for More Jesus and less Fresno! If you think what Jesus does to peoples minds is bad you should see what Fresno does to peoples minds. If given a choice of being a Christian or moving to Fresno… well… I… gotta go with JC on that one!

  • AnonyMouse

    You know what other well-known image appears completely by accident all over natural and manmade structures?

    Penises.

    That’d be God sending us a message, all right.

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