What Should Atheists Say During Sex? August 24, 2010

What Should Atheists Say During Sex?

So *this* is what we’re supposed to be saying in bed… (probably NSFW):

Atheists Having Sex UCBcomedy.com
Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

Video courtesy of the Upright Citizens Brigade.

(Thanks to Jeff for the link!)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Hilarious!!

  • Total win.

    I most like when the lady smacked the man for saying “Jesus Christ”.

  • Aj

    What’s with this saying “oh god” thing? It must be Christians with Tourette’s syndrome: “oh god, oh god, Jesus Christ, Joseph, Mary, HOLY GHOooooh oh oh ost”. What’s wrong with moans and groans of ecstasy? At least say my name… bitch, it’s Flying Spaghetti Monster, oh yeah, noodly goodness. Now slide up and down the plank, arrr you be a fine wench.

  • adam

    i always kind of liked the webcomic version of this joke called “HUMANISTS IN LOVE–Deist On Top” on the website freethunk, I recommend it.

  • Steve

    To be honest, I say “Oh god” quite a lot. Not during sex, but when I’m really annoyed at something. Not sure why. It’s more like a reflex.

  • She said, “Big Bang me!” and I fell out of my chair.

  • As a former Muslim I scream “Allahu Akbar”.

  • Hitch

    “Holy flying spaghetti monster” is just way too long.

  • Jenny

    I love the pantheon of Catholic swears and still use many, with pantheist variations since one’s as nonsensical (and socially acceptable!) as another:
    For the love of Saint Peter/Vishnu/Xenu/Pan!
    Saints/Allah/Isis be praised!
    Dear sweet lord baby Jesus/Buddha/Venus!
    Sweet mother of Chas Bono!

  • Thanks. Funny.

  • Edmond

    WHAT did he say he was gonna do all over her face? I listened over and over, did he say “vowel”? Huh?

  • Diochs

    I’ve loved UCB since they were on Comedy Central.

    They had a great skit w/ Albert Einstein almost meeting Jesus (in a dream). (NSFW)

  • jcm
  • Dan


    I think “I’m going to evolve all over your face.”

  • gamer-geek

    Edmond: he said “evolve”.

  • Randy

    “Knights of Columbus!”

  • Nora

    I’m definitely an “oh god” during sex kind of person. But for general cursing, I prefer a good “Christ!” It’s got such a nice consonant combination at the beginning!

  • Valhar2000

    To be honest, I say “Oh god” quite a lot. Not during sex, but when I’m really annoyed at something. Not sure why. It’s more like a reflex.

    I say “goddamnit” for that purpose, and I say it a lot, thought I try not to say it in front of my American (and largely christian) relatives.

  • littlejohn

    I came of age at the height of the sexual revolution, and I I’ve heard of moaning and squealing, but I’ve never heard anybody say “oh god.” Maybe I was doing something wrong. Or right?
    BTW, how many woman actually leave their bras on during sex (I mean, besides those quickies in the broom closet)? I guess it’s a ploy to get around the censors, but it seems so unrealistic.

  • Nora

    I’ve left my bra on during sex, even of the bedroom variety, although I agree here it’s mostly a ploy for censors. They do the same thing in Cosmo.

  • catsnjags

    I think you crashed the website. Can’t connect.

  • A while back I told SurferJesus not to take the word “Damn” in vain after he used GD as an expletive. Much happiness ensued.

    Great video.

  • People talk during sex? What about the gag?

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