Reader Abigail was cleaning her kitchen yesterday, scrubbing a few stains left by a pot on a white shelf.
That’s when she saw it:

Jesus!
It’s not just Jesus, either. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is there, too. Double whammy! (If you can’t make out that red writing, it says “Noodly Appendage”)
Clearly, it’s a sign of the apocalypse. Or a boobquake. Or something.
Do you see it?! I’ll try to help…

If I were Abigail, I’d never wash the kitchen again. That would be heresy. Her best best is to charge for admission and then just buy a new house.
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