If Only There Were Atheist Barbies… April 9, 2010

If Only There Were Atheist Barbies…

By Guest Contributor
April 9, 2010

Apparently, there now exists an Episcopal Priest Barbie (High Church Edition).

(Which is really the gift all little kids want this year.)

But Jen has gone one step further and created a toy that children of non-religious parents can love just as much: Atheist Barbie:

Mmm… lunch.

Gotta say, if someone made that, I would totally buy it. And I’m not ashamed to say that.

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  • Brian E

    I don’t know about the glasses – they look a little Sarah Palin-ish. No pants is spot-on though.

  • Steve

    Needn’t be pictured but should add to description, anatomically correct 🙂

  • Deiloh

    Ah, now I know why surprise orgies never happen for me. Darn pants!

  • Jake

    That lunch looks delicious.

  • Aub

    I have always had this urge to just rip off my pants and nibble on a baby’s arm.
    It all makes sense now!!
    I love this!!! HILARIOUS!!!! HAHAHAA!!!!!

  • Ally

    Athiest Barbie= Way hotter than Priest Barbie. Though I’m personally still waiting for Punk Rock Barbie (Re-dye-able Mohawk, plaid miniskirt, fishnets, frayed Bad Religion tee.)

  • Like regular Barbie (and her lack of a vagina), I doubt this girl really exists either.

  • hmd

    OMG! I am Athiest Barbie!

  • Betsy

    I want to share some of these terrific things on facebook, but just get a friendly atheist link. Anyway, I might want to sew a pair of undies for her so she doesn’t chafe, I guess she’s cool with it though. I’ll take her as poster child.

  • I want to see (the uproar over) Pope Barbie

  • gotta pinch this.
    thanks.

  • fiddler

    I hear that the doll was declined because the half eaten baby accessory was a choking hazard…

  • You know, I always hated Barbies. I don’t want to start associating them with atheism! 🙁

  • Alexis

    Ya know, the priest Barbie looks so much like the Vicar of Dibley.

  • What’s that shirt say?

  • I am also Atheist Barbie, except I’m not blonde or made of plastic.

    @Kevin: The shirt is an xkcd reference: http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#StandBackScience

  • Aguz

    Whats a “surpise” orgy?

  • That’s me! (If they made the brunette version) 😀

  • Tom

    So being an an atheist Barbie automatically makes her a unsuspecting impulsive fornicator of multiple partners (especially strangers?)

    I’m offended, Hemant. Does Blag Hag see this as a just an innocent thing, or am I the model for a naive atheist Ken doll?

  • cypressgreen

    As a “Barbie” myself, I must say they got it all wrong. I have brown hair.

  • Whoa. Atheist Barbie eats babies for lunch? That’s a breakfast food!

  • JayJay

    Tom, the Barbie is made up of all the stereotypes associated with atheists: they wear “emo” glasses, they carry atheist books around, they like science a lot (the t-shirt), they have lots of sex (since atheists have “no morals,” what stops them from giving in to their impulses?), and they eat babies (because they have no morals).

  • Javier

    Oh, she’s so me… well but I happen to be guy.

  • Thegoodman

    I am truly not trying to sound like a pig when I say this but…

    From my limited experience as well as that of my friends, “religious” girls tend to be more…loose… than secular ones. Perhaps in the mid-twenties age bracket most girls who are non-religious also tend to have a healthy self image, a strong mind, and a level of ambition; all of which are not always shared by their religious counterparts.

    Just a personal observation, nothing scientific here.

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