Since everyone is leaving the Catholic Church, Pastor Deacon Fred is happy to report that attendance at Landover Baptist Church is rising dramatically:
According to Ticketmaster™, Landover Baptist church services in all four sanctuaries are completely booked through 2017 (even some Platinum Level Tithers are reportedly scalping their tickets for $3,000 a pop!) and there are plans to build a new worship center in Freehold, Iowa to accommodate the enormous number of new members coming in from the S.S. Titanic of all faiths, the Roman Catholic Church.
In fact, to help people get used to being a Baptist, LBC has put together a handy little chart. Here’s just a sample:
You can see the full chart here.
See? Now you all know better.