A Christian’s Inner Atheist

I do not know about the whole list, I have yet to read them all, but the examples you quoted are not things that an atheist is more likely to think than a Christian. There are plenty of Christians, my self included, who think those things.

I don’t see his list as “inner atheism” – or even inner agnosticism. He’s just an “actively intelligent” believer able to reconcile the real world with his beliefs. (Being actively intelligent is an ability which bible literalists voluntarily refuse to use.)

Logically I know there is no such thing as luck. But there are some things I can’t help but feel jinxed on – as if, yes there is a god, and he is taunting me. That’s about as close as I come to having an inner theist. 🙂

I’ll play this game:

1) Boy, the workings of biological life sure are complex and amazingly interdependent. It really does look like it was organized by something intelligent. Though, not even in my more extreme musings do I think that that intelligence is in any way interested in humans/animals other than as experiments or curiosities.

2)Atheism will never generate a standard morality. Neither has religion over the past few thousand years. But, pretenders to absolute, rationality-based morality are almost as misguided as the religious.

3)Atheists’ claims to be the most rational is grating. What hubris. There are certainly intelligent and thoughtful theists out there…somewhere. Many theologies are internally consistent – not believable to outsiders, but not illogical either.

4)In the far distant future we may come upon evidence for a god, or at least intelligent creator(s). Maybe the theists really are right. Maybe the argument is only half-way done with an incomplete set of facts and there might still be more to learn. One side of a court case always sounds irrefutable until you hear the rest of the evidence.

5)Christianity is better than Islam – at least for the last few hundred years. I don’t see Christians sending their children off to blow up themselves along with others on their way to church. Even poor Christians don’t succumb to such insanity.
Judaism seems better than either. (but not better than atheism 🙂 )

6)Perhaps people, on the whole, are better off with religion than without it. Maybe not everyone “can be good without god.” Of course, many aren’t good with god, either.

7)Maybe if I were god, I’d drown the world, or wipe out whole cultures, too. (that’s only on a really bad day)

No. I gave up the fairy tales about 5 years ago. Religion is repugnant to me now.

I have some superstitious beliefs. I know they’re irrational, I know they’re wrong yet their emotional impact is still strong.

I suppose I agree with (5) of Paul’s list but I disagree with everything else he wrote which probably makes me grating but oh well, reality is tough that way.

There is no “God”.

My inner theist… nothin’, I got nothin’

My sentiments are with ungullible regarding luck, except it’s been the other way around. In the past few months, things I want have been working out and falling into place with almost alarming ease. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s almost to the point of becoming suspicious with respect to job, apartment, etc.

Granted, I put up with a nasty layoff and subsequent months of unemployment last summer, and worked very hard to accomplish a major (academic) goal while maintaining my (wonderful and generous) network over a period of about 4 months, but still, I keep joking to myself that I’m being “tempted’ to slide down the spectrum of rationality and into believing in whatever variety of woo appeals at the moment – luck, karma, blessings, what have you. Almost as though my Catholic upbringing is functioning in reverse and I’ve grown vigilant against being tempted by the dark, seductive, easy road of credulity…how’s that for irony?

Sometimes in quiet moments I think that I might actually be the second coming of Christ (manifested as an atheist)… but then a moment later I realize that the idea is preposterous and I become rational again.

I was all ready to reply when I started reading the comments, then I saw that medussa had me nearly word for word.

My inner theist has kept a lot of guilt from my childhood Catholic days. Ridiculous, but there. And sometimes- rarely, but sometimes- I find myself longing for some comfort, in the sense that a belief in god and a heaven can comfort you when someone you love dies. There are times I find myself really wishing that my mother had passed on to somewhere I had hope of seeing her again. It’s purely my selfish wish to see her that drives this, but I see the peace that it gives other members of my family, and I can’t help but envy that peace once in awhile.

Inner theist? Mine says that religion is the only thing that can give hope to people who are dying.

It may be a fantasy, but it is a sometimes-necessary fantasy.

“1. the existence of God can’t be proven”

Er… Shouldn’t that be “the existence of God hasn’t be proven”. You can’t prove there isn’t a god, not the other way around. It would take something pretty outstanding to do so but it’s a (slim) possibility.

Yay. my inner theist is a bit fundamentalist. Thats the way I think of (many)religious people. My atheist “self” can oppose inner theists creationist-bibleliteralist wiews… atheists usually dont bother dealing with liberal theists, we go to search the ugliest ones (or they come to find us). So my inner theist is a fictional* character made of the wiews how I see fundamentalists and the easiest way of reading bible.

*Actually I have never been religious

I often use the fact of my time/date of birth to explain my personality even though I know that’s illogical.

Desiring an actual karmatic theme to the universe isn’t exclusively characteristic of theists, but still I think it a weakness of mine.

Not for years, brother. Not for years.

My “inner Catholic” likes wine and crackers, and my “inner Baptist” is a terrible dancer. Oh, and my “inner Mormon” is allergic to tobacco smoke. Do those things count? My lawyer has advised me not to discuss my “inner Rastafarian.”

Fantasy literature.

Sorry, but I’m just not having that. You’re either a fundamentalist or you’re not a Christian/Jew/Muslim.

So, Catholics aren’t real Christians?

While I’m definately atheist, I often consider how my actions would look to a hypothetical all-knowing all-benevolent 3rd party judge.

“Sorry, but I’m just not having that. You’re either a fundamentalist or you’re not a Christian/Jew/Muslim.”

Really? For example: the basic tenants of Christianity are summed up in the Apostle’s Creed. It’s a list of Christian beliefs, but nowhere in that list can you find “I believe in a literal interpretation of the Old Testament” or anything like that.

Sorry, but I’m just not having that. You’re either a fundamentalist or you’re not a Christian/Jew/Muslim. Religion isn’t a buffet, it’s all or nothing. People like this are like vegetarians who eat chicken.

That’s precisely the same technique used by fundies who state “Atheism means you deny the existence of a god therefore you’re not an atheist!”. Essentially to be a christian is to have a certain belief about the divinity of Jesus (as an example), but it is perfectly reasonable (indeed far more reasonable) to treat much of the scripture as allegorical. Fundamentalists don’t consider scripture to be allegorical, and consider it to be literally true. That’s the difference.

I worship Jessica Alba. Does that count?

False Prophet,

…and the 200+ about helping the poor.

That might be unfair to many fundamentalists, who donate time and money to the poor. Many of them might tarnish this by using this as a promotional campaign, but liberal Christians do this a hell of a lot too. Jesus told his followers to give away their wealth, and liberal and fundamentalist Christians can both agree he was very wrong on the matter.

…and make shit up about God condemning abortion (since it’s not actually mentioned in the Bible).

Did they even have abortions? I’ve heard of Greeks using poison, but apparently they made the plant go extinct. The Bible does seem to be against “wasting” semen by not attempting to conceive children with it, and I think that can be honestly interpreted as against abortion or any contraception, if taken that it’s about God not wanting people to intervene in reproduction.

I have an inner theist, probably due, in part, to my fundamentalist upbringing. Mostly now I realize that religion can be useful. This is not to say I think it is factual, but the religious process can be a useful way to affect the behavior of society.
Sometimes this is reflected in the increased charitable giving of the religious over the non-religious, and sometimes it is reflected in Malaysian riots. It is not necessarily good, but useful.
It is usually used to achieve a secular goal that has a secular motivation, but to sell it to the average Joe or Jane (or Abdul) you have to play down the secular motivation and pretend it has a religious motivation. Religion is really just an ancient form of mass marketing. (No pun intended, but dang if I ain’t gonna use that in the future!)
The Malaysian riots are really about social dominance, I suspect, just like the ID movement in the US. But an honest admission of “I don’t want THOSE people to have their way because I want to be in charge” might not play with the average citizen. I statement like “THEY are trying to seduce your children by using the name Allah, and you are evil if you do not fight them!” can gain traction.
It’s funny how that sounds a lot like the “THEY are trying to seduce your children by legitimizing gay marriage, and you are evil if you do not oppose them!” and “THEY are trying to seduce your children by teaching evolution, and you are evil if you do not oppose them!” argument we hear in the US. It’s always “think about the children”.
Maybe religion is just a way to take control of the children.

In the past few months, I have been preparing for my fiance to go to Iraq for nearly a year. When I think about him over there and potentially getting injured/killed/traumatized/insert-bad-thing-that-could-happen-to-him-here, I kind of wish I still considered myself a christian. That way, even though it never did and never will do any good, I could at least pray for his safety and feel somewhat better about the situation. Logically, however, I know that his survival/well-being does not depend on a god, but on the actions of the other US soldiers, himself, and the Iraqis. So even though I am a firm atheist, sometimes I still wish for that crutch of religion.

My inner theist sez: If I had kids, I’d send them to an academically strong Catholic school, ideally one run by Jesuits.

I have a series of multiple disabilities that I have had to deal with all of my life. This has caused me a great deal of grief since I was born into a Christian family that cannot accept an atheist belief. If I tell my parents about any of this my Mom especially internalizes her grief because she feels that she is loosing me to Atheism and that I will be damned to hell. Whenever I try to fulfill my parents wishes I find myself lost confused in the religious logic that is constantly contradictory. I have to endure their slams on Atheism and have to jump through the hoops that prove I am a Christian. The truth is that coming to terms with my disability went hand in hand with accepting Atheism. Once I realized that my Christian Parents could not mentally handle an Empty Truth like Atheism I resigned myself to the Pain and Suffering of being a Christian that was Blessed by God with a Benevolent Disability. But more and more being forced to pretend to be a Christian is wearing me out to the point of extreme mental exhaustion. Christians do not know how peaceful it is to be able to accept the Empty Truth and move on. I’m not saying that we should reject the Bible because it is history I believe. It has good laws to live by. I’m just tired of well meaning Christians that quote good sayings then condemn you when you don’t fit into their beliefs. I looked very hard for employment in California then calculated a high unemployment rate. Then when I met a Christian Contractor he stated that I was unemployed because of my sinful nature. This statement only served to plunge me into greater depression and exasperation. Christians have no clue how their benevolent intentions actually destroy others. The stress of unemployment and a disability can often plunge a person into adverse or frustrated behavior. You don’t need another Christian to come along and heap coals on the fire. I still adopt the Morals and the Laws and Teachings of the Bible. I spent money running around and doing good works and trying to do God’s will. But in the end Christians are not connected by the Holy Spirit. Things don’t line up as God would intend. My Stability has always come from adopting the idea that God doesn’t exist and my instability has always come about from becoming overwrought with the idea of benevolent intervention. The Bottom line is that my disability has not strengthened my belief in God. And all of my greatest triumphs have been because of Government Programs or Money in some way. Maybe in some psychological way Praying helps me come to terms with my disability but the truth is that it only helps when I relax into my acceptance that my disability is here to stay and that it cannot be prayed out or delivered by Prayer. Thank God for DVR, Government Programs, and /or Disability assistance. For if it weren’t for them Christianity would have driven me to suicide a long time ago and my own parents would have been a big part of it. Give Everyone what they want that makes them happy and content. Believe with Believers and Disbelieve with disbelievers. Render unto Cesear what is Cesears.