Must. Beat. PZ. In. Meaningless. Poll. December 27, 2009

Must. Beat. PZ. In. Meaningless. Poll.

By Guest Contributor
December 27, 2009

Yes, it’s a meaningless poll for the “most vocal atheist of 2009.”

Yes, I’m aware there are no women on it and that is an injustice of many sorts.

Yes, I’m aware PZ has gotten to it already.

But.

He can be defeated! Really! He can!

You just have to vote for me and not him!

Help me out, people!

I’m losing to Richard Dawkins?! Pssh — what has he done for atheism lately.

(Don’t answer that.)

…

I would just like to point out that regardless of these results, I am still sexier than PZ.

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  • Richard Wade

    “Vocal”? What the hell is vocal? The one who talks too much?

    Hemant, start your own meaningless poll. How about…hmmm. I know!

    The Most Brown Online Atheist of the Year!

    I think you’ll have a chance! At least you’ll beat ol’ pasty face PZ.

  • Jay

    Well you definitely win sexiest atheist of the year 😉

  • Most vocal? I don’t think any of you lot have an undergraduate degree in Vocal Performance. [Note: I don’t, either.]

    I would dismiss this poll as another meaningless one.

  • Euan

    Anyone here of a little thing called the Atheist Bus campaign? That Arianes Herine isn’t an option makes the poll invalid.

  • I agree with Euan.

  • Sexiest?

    PZ has a trophy wife. You have a slide rule.

    Res ipsa loquiter.

  • Sesoron

    “Loquitur”, Cousinavi.

    And I seriously considered voting for the both of them. Likewise Dawkins for The Greatest Show on Earth and Hitchens for his stellar performance in the Intelligence Squared debate alongside Stephen Fry.

    I’m not sure “vocal” is literally the best description, since most of his atheist publications are written, but I think P Zed’s unabashed frontline assault against religion gives him an inherent edge in “vocalness” over Hemant’s more diplomatic approach. They may often have the same message, but P Zed, um, types it louder.

  • Damn Latin. You know what happened? I’m Canadian, so all my U’s get used up in words like neighbour, labour, harbour and the like.

    Vado concubitus per vestri.

  • Tim Carroll

    Sorry, but I am a music teacher. I need to hear you sing.

  • Tizzle

    I may have voted for you twice. It’s hard to say. I deleted my cookies, but not sure if that worked. PZ is pretty vocal, but I saw your request first.

  • Kimpatsu

    I would just like to point out that regardless of these results, I am still sexier than PZ.
    So what? I’m not sleeping with either of you!
    (PS: I voted for Dawkins. So there.)

  • Go get ’em Hemant! Take them all down. My apologies to the women out there. I chose, well, sort of famous atheists and limited it to ten. For the record I am a die hard feminist.

  • Amy G

    You definitely win the “sexiest atheist” award. PZ… not so much. 😛

  • NewEnglandBob

    I wanted to vote for Bobcat Goldthwait but he wasn’t on the list.

  • Carlie

    I voted for you because you asked first.

  • Sandra S

    I agree with Tim, we need to hear you sing. We’ve seen you dance, so I really think it’s time for some singing. You’ll sure have my vote if you do.

  • Tom Woolf

    If one interprets “vocal” as the one most heard, PZ wins hands down. “Friendly” is just too, well, friendly.

    Worldwide – I’d give it to Dawkins.

    But if it makes you feel any better (and even if it does not), I like the combination the three bloggers make. Keep up the good work!

  • anothermike

    How the hell can god’s will work properly when they are all atheists?

  • Todd

    As a rule, I vote in all polls in accordance to PZ’s commands. This on, on the other hand, made me think a bit. Dan Barker and the FFRF have made a pretty big ruckus this year with their signs.

  • I too tend to vote with the pharyngula mob, but decided to vote for the friendly one this time.

  • Angie

    You need some female names on that list!

  • Benjamin

    Terribly sorry, Hemant. PZ asked me first, you see, and I’ve already gone and voted.

  • Tatty

    I voted for you because you are nicer.

  • REX

    Your minions are no match for the Pharyngulaic Hordes.

    I voted for you 3 times!

  • Stephen P

    Hemant, start your own meaningless poll. How about…hmmm. I know! The Most Brown Online Atheist of the Year! I think you’ll have a chance!

    Afraid he’d lose that one to Wrath James White. Admittedly Wrath doesn’t post very often, but he has some fine posts. See for example Not every head shall bow or That loving feeling. If you don’t read anything else of his, at least read Escaping the Overseer.

  • littlejohn

    To my friend Cousinavi: I assume “slide rule” is a euphemism.
    And sorry, Hemant, but let’s face it: PZ is the king of meaningless polls, which is sort of like being the prettiest one on “The View.”
    You should graciously surrender now.
    Nonetheless, I guess I’ll have to go back and cast another vote, this time for you. I hope no one else asks me. This keeps getting sillier.
    The important thing is that Bill Maher must lose!

  • Wait a minute — performance on an online poll is a useful direct measure of who can skew polls the best, but where is your test of sexiness? We’re going to have to do some assessment of copulation frequency, sperm count, offspring reproduced, or something along those lines to get a real measure, and I’m afraid I might just beat you in at least some of those.

    Or we could do like sea slugs and engage in some fierce penis fencing.

  • Shannon

    Penis fencing could be a good fund raising event. I’m just saying . . . 😉

  • TXatheist

    Hemant, quite an honor to be on that list, congratulations.

  • qwertyuiop

    I’m amazed that Pat Condell isn’t on this list. There’s a man who’s not afraid to speak his mind, for sure.

    Voted both you and PZ. Don’t be mad :p

  • Wait a minute — performance on an online poll is a useful direct measure of who can skew polls the best, but where is your test of sexiness? We’re going to have to do some assessment of copulation frequency, sperm count, offspring reproduced, or something along those lines to get a real measure, and I’m afraid I might just beat you in at least some of those.

    Or we could do like sea slugs and engage in some fierce penis fencing.

    When I have offspring, I plan to go the full octuplet.

    As for sperm count… um… well, there’s a reason India is so damn overpopulated! (You’re welcome.)

    I will only penis fence for money.

  • Crux Australis

    Where did you get your title picture? Awesome.

  • Richard P

    Well I voted or you again. But I do not know if it will help much.
    Seeing that if you add up the percentages on the pol PZ has 74% of the 119% of the calculated vote…. something seems a little fishy there.

  • Sandra S

    Or we could do like sea slugs and engage in some fierce penis fencing.

    Oh this I’d like to see…

  • littlejohn

    Hey, now I can tell women my vasectomy scar is an old fencing wound. That should impress them, even if nothing else does.

  • JulietEcho

    And sorry, Hemant, but let’s face it: PZ is the king of meaningless polls, which is sort of like being the prettiest one on “The View.”

    And littlejohn wins the thread!

    I love you, Hemant, but I hate polls, so I decline your request.

  • Well you definitely win sexiest atheist of the year.

    Two words: Abbie Smith.

  • Edmond

    I would reserve my judgement of Hemant as “sexiest” atheist until I could see him in a speedo, or at least with his shirt off.

  • muggle

    Sure, okay. But you are lucky Pat Condell wasn’t on the list. I would have given it to him hands down. I like you but I love that guy!

    Since we were allowed to vote for more than one, I was tempted to vote for you and Dan Barker but I was just too damned pissed that Annie Laurie wasn’t on there too.

    Sexist pigs!

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Kimpatsu: So what? I’m not sleeping with either of you!
    (PS: I voted for Dawkins. So there.)

    Did I understand this correctly? Is Kimpatsu sleeping with Richard Dawkins?

  • Reginald Selkirk
  • DGKnipfer

    I will only penis fence for money.

    I’m sure that if you set up a Pay-per-View event plenty of people would pay to watch that.

  • Never start a land war in Asia.

    Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

    And never ever try to out poll PZ Myers on an online poll.

  • No offence, but I actually find PZ sexier.

    It’s the beard.

  • Brian Macker

    Hitchens is far more “vocal” than any of you.