Divine Bovine December 10, 2009

Divine Bovine

By Guest Contributor
December 10, 2009

In Connecticut, a calf was born a week ago with a marking on its forehead. It’s causing some people to claim divine intervention.

All I’m thinking is Harry Potter reincarnate.

On the upside, at least they’re not going to slaughter it…

(Thanks to The Green Atheist)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment

  • They’re not going to let anybody eat it? I think they’re missing the point! Didn’t Jesus say that his followers had to eat his flesh and drink his blood? What better use for this divinely marked piece of beef than a carnivorous Eucharist? Sign me up for the holy porterhouse.

  • Richard Wade

    It looks like Cygnus the swan. Pagans will be thrilled!

  • Someone pony up, buy the friggin cow and eat it. Please.

  • liz

    worshiping cows…i’ve heard of that before.

  • Alexis

    I reminds me of the Hummingbird software logo. It’s a sign that we should all plant columbine and other HB friendly flowers.

  • I thought is was a fairy.

    Is it me, or does the guy farmer sound like he needs to lay off the White Russians (and not the mail-order variety)?

  • Angie

    I see a moose head. Clearly this is a sign of Bullwinkle’s divinity.

  • The cow has a sibling (also with a mark) that is not getting as much attention. I wonder why?

    See this image.

  • The Catholic Church might be interested in the cow.
    I’m thinking beef-flavored communion wafers.

    Perhaps this is the second coming!

  • Alexis

    Luganatic – I see your point, but remember this is rural New England. People talk like that even when they are sober.

  • JM

    It looks like Texas to me. The cow must mean it ironically.

  • It should get along great with the Mickey Mouse cow or the Allah beef.

  • The Other Tom

    The mark is clearly an image of a mailbox with its flag up.

  • If I drew a lopsided mess like that and called it a Christian cross, people would say I was being disrespectful to their faith. That’s how much it looks like a cross. It does resemble a hatchet to me, sort of.

  • postsimian

    I had a witty comment here, but I lost it when I saw the dianetics ad at the top of the page. Friggin auto-ads.

  • Sooo…I’m guessing that cow isn’t kosher?

  • All I can see is a cinema usherette on tip-toes.

  • Alan E.

    “I know a thing or two about…genetics. I don’t think that this could ever happen again in a million other cows.” Then you don’t know a thing or two about genetics.

    Not every cow is examined so closely for marks of “divine intervention.” Besides, there were an estimated 1.53 billion cattle in the world in 2001. The Hindus surely aren’t looking for crosses on their cows. I think she thinks a million is a really large number that nobody could ever count to.

  • mikespeir

    That’s not a cross. That’s a pike. Leaves me in doubt as to whom to worship.

  • bill

    hahahaha i dont understand why god has to be so arbitrary and ambiguous. why doesn’t he just make the global economy soar in excessive wealth and then put a cross inscribed with “hey! its me, god. i did this!” in the wall street journal and on money? or end world hunger and put a giant cross visible from space in the now fertile sahara desert?

  • Brian E

    How can I be the first person to say Holy Cow!

  • Brian Macker

    The marking looks like a can can dancer lifting her dress. All praise Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec.

    Hmm… now that I look closer it looks like a Mudokon riding an Elum. All praise Abe.

  • Kat

    Olympic torch.

  • Luther

    As a Connecticut native and resident I feel compelled to remind everyone that one of our nicknames is “The Nutmeg State”.

    This because my Yankee peddler ancestors used to pawn off wooden “nutmegs” on unsuspecting New Yorkers and Pennsylvanians. We are also the home of P.T. Barnum.

    Perhaps we can pawn off this bovine on one of those suckers born every minute — but it looks like we have our own breed of idiots compromising the state genome already — good candidates for a Darwin award honorable mention at least.

  • Jameson

    Wait, so they named a cow that they are revering Moses? As in the Moses who came down the mountain, threw a hissy fit, and smashed some tablets because his people had started worshiping a golden calf while he was away?

    Am I the only one who sees the problem here? I mean, beyond the fact that the cow just has a random mark on its head that vaguely looks like a cross.

  • It’s a good thing god never went to art school. He can’t make a proper cross to save his life!

  • muggle

    Ok, I’ll join in the Rorschah inkblot test. Because that dang thing resembles a ballerine to me.

    Of course, I just got done reading a novel about a ballerina. But, hey, she had a magic cat and a brownie in her cupboard. And several magicians protecting her and an ogre for an enemy.

    I didn’t say it was a good novel. It was all right but nothing to rave about. Entertaining enough a read.

  • As stupid as the Norwegian lights being a sign of E.T.

    But I love the Farmer’s accent. The girl needs to get over herself a bit.

  • littlejohn

    If that looks like a cross, then I look like George Clooney.
    Hint: I don’t look remotely like George Clooney. Think I’d be hanging around with you losers if I did?
    Wait a minute. I think I just insulted myself…

  • Hugh Kramer

    This is not a Christian cow at all. It’s Jewish. Can’t you see, instead of a cross, that that is the Hebrew letter “lamed” on its forehead?

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DeutwC_pLZ0/STgZPnzEP-I/AAAAAAAAAaM/RnwXNwjt0c0/s400/lamed.gif

    Circumcize this animal at once!

  • Richard Wade

    Are they sure it isn’t just a big oozing gob of bird shit? I mean, I’ve seen bird shit on my car that looked more cross-like than that. You know, where the point of initial impact of the bird shit has a radial pattern that could randomly go out in three or four main directions, and then the more liquid part of the bird shit starts to oooooooze sloooooolyyyy doooowwwwn drawing a long white line of bird shit to look like the base of a cross?

    Thought you might like that visual.

  • Annie

    I thought it was supposed to be a lightning bolt, indicating I was to worship Zeus, or possibly Thor.

    Give me that old time religion.

  • Prediction of another proof of evolution: This cow will survive because of its birthmark. Like the white moths that evolved into dark moths due to the build up of soot on the trees during the English industrial revolution, this cow is likely to spawn an altered species.

    Soon it will be common for cows to bear such a mark.

  • spink

    I agree with Hemant– it’s way more Harry Potter-esque than Christian.

  • DicePlayGod

    The weak similarity of this mark to a cross sure goes a long way toward explaining why the intelligent designer created so many poorly designed biological systems … he’s evidently just not up to the task.

  • LKL

    They aren’t going to eat him, but are they going to castrate him? If not, I’m thinking that we’re going to have a breed of unkillable cross-headed cows, like the crabs in Japan with the samurai faces on their carapace.

  • aspentroll.myid.net

    Could what comes out of the rear orifice be
    holy peanut butter? Get out the jars and lets sell this stuff to the fundies. Let me see..
    a holy cow would produce a ton of holy peanut butter in a year at $1000 a jar….this could be a good deal. Well maybe not.

  • unique.smile.within

    Ohmigosh its Tinkerbell! That’s what I see, anyway. A cross? If I were Christian I’d be insulted. I also agree with Jameson.

  • I think it looks like a Cancan dancer. Clearly a sign from on high to take the cow drinking and cavorting in gay Paris.

  • catsnjags

    I think the gal in the video is also the voice of the pothole in the Geico ads.