An Atheist’s Response to the Christian Side Hug Video December 9, 2009

An Atheist’s Response to the Christian Side Hug Video

By Guest Contributor
December 9, 2009

ZOMGitsCriss has a response to the laughable Christian Side Hug song. (It involves a rap of her own…)

The video below starts with her discussing that song, but the beginning of it is important to listen to if you have a couple extra minutes to spare:



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  • gski

    “Imma a rough-rider, filled up with Christ’s love”. Look up rough rider, they can’t be real.

  • I’m sorry, but I can’t help but think that the original rap was a joke. pretty sure I hear a lot of laughing in the audience. believe it or not, but Christians are quite capable (especially some younger Christians, as this was the audience) of parodying themselves or, more likely here, older, more stringent views of their families or churches.

    I’m an atheist now, but I went to a Christian college and know the extent to which Christians tend to make light of previous views (of families, denominations, whatever) they no longer adhere to. parodying them is much easier than dealing with the awkwardness of explaining how their views, rooted in revelation, are so susceptible to change…

    I’d like to see some info about who they were, what this event was, and the real views behind those involved. until then, maybe everyone should stop taking it so seriously (or stop skewering it so much)? otherwise, everyone may look pretty naive and gullible in the end.

  • muggle

    Man, she’s the greatest. I love her videos!

    Side hugs, only? What’s next? They just get more and more ridiculous.

  • Wendy

    I love her and want to marry her.

  • Shane

    The only proper place to pop a boner is when you’re thinking about Jesus.

  • Revyloution

    I would love to see a theological debate between the Christian rappers, and sandwich board man from U of NC.

    I think its a safe bet that neither of them know their bibles very well.

    I bet it would be almost as much fun as listening to two crystal wearing new agers discuss quantum physics and string theory.

  • Mary

    I always thought rough-rider meant someone who liked rough sex!

  • I love it! Haha!

    And not only did Jesus have hot chicks kissing his feet, he had dudes kissing his cheeks! Jesus got lots of love! (See Judas, cultural customs, etc)

    @Mary: me, too!

  • Noophy

    ummm, people do realize that those Christians were making fun of themselves? Self parody and all that.

  • Peregrine

    I always thought a roughrider was a football player in Saskatchewan. And/or Ottawa prior to 1996.

  • DemetriusOfPharos

    I’m pretty sure DMX would have something to say about these little wankers claiming to be rough-riders. Probably something like this:

    Oh you thought you was raw? Boom, not anymore!

  • Well to be perfectly honest, I would probably need to side-hug Criss myself. Otherwise…

  • liz

    Her rap was fucking awesome. hahahaha

  • We Are The 801

    WTF????

    You know, even when I was an early 20-something Christian myself (over 15 years ago, Church of Christ– gag, I know), the thought never even OCCURRED to me of getting an erection hugging anyone (male or female).

    Obviously, these people have too much time on their hands and too much sex on the brain. Pervs indeed.

    In obliquely-related news: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2009/dec/08/religion-society-gregory-paul

  • ZombieGirl

    Isn’t a rough rider a condom with bumps or ribs on it??!?! XD

  • Odin

    Rough Riders? I had a few of them in my drawer as a teenager. I used them to front hug

  • o_O Side hug? WTF? Are these people not aware that, as apes, we communicate affection with ventral to ventral contact?

    She’s right, they’re a bunch of pervs! Yo!

  • Did anyone else notice that the “Christian Side Hug” video was tagged as “Comedy”?

  • Alan E.

    My sister (16) gives side hugs to boys in her high school, but it’s because she is well-endowed up front. She also knows that some boys (not all) like to hug her to feel her boobs. Her reasoning is more sound then the generic uber-abstinence these “rappers” are pushing. She still gives front (read: evil) hugs to people she trusts. It’s still difficult to give her a big hug, and it’s still weird to see my sister with breasts. My brother certainly wishes that she would stay 10 years old.

  • N

    I love her so very much. I want to bear her children.

    That Christian Gangsta Rap group had to be a joke. It had to be.

    Then again, it reminds me of the post here not long ago about the man who wouldn’t give a woman a ride home because it would be too dangerous to be alone in a car with her. That shit is real; the preacher where I used to go to church preached about it a lot.

    Insane.

  • BEX

    Wow, she is just awesome!

  • Mary

    Did those guys sing that rap seriously? It was so out there that I thought it was making fun of Christians. I did a triple take when I realized that could be a Christian group and not a secular group making fun. LOL! Oh, and by the way, I’m a straight married girl, and even I think rapping girl is hot. 😛 Maybe I need those rappers to throw a Bible at me or something and snap me out of this line of thought.

  • chris

    Yup, the hot girls with the lust in their eyes coming up to guys trying to get hugs = devils.

    Just a matter of time before we’re all wearing burkas, yo.

  • Rest
  • scw

    The video may be a joke, but the concept of the Christian side hug is still pretty weird. And hilarious.

  • @Revylution: I’ll bet that the Pit Preacher does know his Bible, but his interpretations of it are a bit wacky.

    Full disclosure: I’m a UNC-CH law student. I’ve never personally seen the Pit Preacher, as the law school building is about a 10 minute walk from the Pit and I have no reason to go over there except if I want to go to the undergrad or main (Davis) libraries.

  • matilda

  • I love how the first assumption many atheists made about this video was that it was real rather than that it was a joke.

    It’s sad that Poe’s Law is so applicable.

    Christians have a sense of humour to you know…

    Also, the Side Hug concept originally comes from a Christian parody site called Stuff Christians Like – this comedy video is based on another parody. It doesn’t take a whole lot of nous to figure it out.

  • littlejohn

    Poe’s Law wins again. I was completely taken in. Of course, I’ve seen crazier xian shit that was, as far as I know, completely serious.

  • Edmond

    Joke or not, we’ll see what George Lucas thinks about having his franchise ripped off.

    Note to Christians: when writing a song, try writing your own music too, instead of STEALING it.

  • They call it a joke. I call it cleaning up a PR disaster.

    When I was an evangelical Christian, we were absolutely all about enforcing side-hugging-only in our social groups.

  • J. J. Ramsey

    Nathan: “It’s sad that Poe’s Law is so applicable.”

    It’s also sad that someone did a YouTube video that treated something tagged as “Comedy” as serious. Come on, if one is going to go to the trouble of making a video, shouldn’t one go to the trouble of, you know, Googling to make sure one knows what the heck one is talking about?

    MikeTheInfidel: “They call it a joke. I call it cleaning up a PR disaster.”

    Um, yeah, that explains the laughter from the audience.

    Edmond: “Joke or not, we’ll see what George Lucas thinks about having his franchise ripped off.”

    What the heck are you talking about? I couldn’t recognize the background music as having anything to do with George Lucas. Heck, the rappers weren’t even singing to any tune.

  • Mary

    It is good to know that these guys were joking. That is what I initially thought, until I saw all the atheists taking it seriously. Lighten up, folks. 🙂 Believe it or not, a lot of people in church youth groups do stay abstinent until they get married. While it has its downside, it also has an upside. I’ve been happily married for 11 years to the only person I have ever been with, and it hasn’t turned out badly at all. 🙂 Now we’re both happy atheists with no relationship baggage.

  • Edmond

    @J.J. Ramsey

    Listen again, “their” music is nothing but the Imperial March from Star Wars, often better known as Darth Vader’s Theme.

  • J. J. Ramsey

    Edmond:

    Listen again, “their” music is nothing but the Imperial March from Star Wars, often better known as Darth Vader’s Theme.

    Ok, now that I know what to listen for, I can hear a resemblance, but it’s not exactly obvious, nor is it clear that the resemblance is more than just auditory pareidolia. Indeed, what little resemblance there is doesn’t even extend past the first few bars of the Imperial March. Your case for stealing is pretty slim, and legally, I doubt George Lucas would have much of a case, either.

  • False Prophet

    Hey, the case of Vanilla Ice vs. Queen was pretty clear, you have to pay royalties on samples. (And Vanilla’s wasn’t an exact sample either.) John Williams better be getting his take. 😉

  • Kaela

    A) Though the video seems to be fake, the side hug is a very real phenomenon, according to a Christian friend of mine.
    B) I think I’m in love! Wow, beautiful and witty. Is it sinful for women to “front hug” or just boy/girl coupling, I wonder?

  • Moose

    I listened to the whole video.

    Although I feel that the (original) side-hug video is likely a parody and her response rap was spot on, I think the message at the front end was the real power behind this incredible woman’s intellect!

    For those whom didn’t view it, it was a plain, no-nonsense description of the evils and likely outcomes of abstinence-only education coupled with the hormonal challenges of a no-sex-permitted attitude…in other words-parents, this is your kids, and what will likely happen to them if you don’t teach them responsible behaviour and educate them about the real world.

    It was awesome-just freaking awesome. It should be mandatory to view this video before you can breed (or f%@k, for that matter…)

  • jemand

    It’s not a joke, well, THIS video may be, but “side hugs” are very real. I know from personal experience that there ARE books and youth groups who advocate too much touching as sin, and that hugs are borderline and you should consider with much prayer and that they probably could cause sin so you better not do it.

    Christian ideas of “front hugs” being sin are very real.

  • absent sway

    Most Christians have a sense of humor about the side-hug thing, and it really is a good move when you suspect you’re about to be hugged a little too long.

    P.S. I must say I’m disappointed that someone beat me to the DMX references. “Ride! Or! Die! What y’all really waaant…”

  • It’s a joke. Christians make fun of the side hug all the time.

    The “C is for Christmas” video is not a joke. AND it’s much more disturbing.

    I responded to it here, though I wasn’t as funny as she is.

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