Misleading Christian Dating Ads December 3, 2009

Misleading Christian Dating Ads

By Guest Contributor
December 3, 2009

I understand the need for dating websites to advertise their existence, but they really need to figure out who their audience is…

I’m pretty sure these are not the “good Christian girls” you are told to look for in church:

They’ll never do. I mean, where are their cross necklaces?

At least one website caters to the Christian fun dies: (***Edit***: I’ve been told that the following ad is photoshopped and not real. Please ignore it. I’ll leave it here for the sake of posterity.)

How exactly do they screen for atheists? For that matter, how would they know who’s married or a felon? They’re assuming a lot of honesty in these online profiles…

NextRound has several more misleading Christian dating pics that I’m absolutely positive no Christian has ever clicked on before.

(Thanks to Theo for the link!)

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  • Valdyr

    They probably screen for atheists in the same sort of way Atheist Nexus screens for fundies: having new members click a promise that they’re not religious.

    Personally, I find it more interesting that “atheists” was listed alongside adulterers and criminals. For one thing, I thought Christianity was about forgiveness and redemption–why turn away felons who are specifically looking for a religiously-themed romantic relationship? And why do they only try to screen atheists? Wouldn’t Jews, Muslims, Hindus, neopagans, etc. be just as unwelcome in a forum for Christians seeking other Christians to f—err… date?

    Edit: I just noticed the asterisk next to “FREE”. Love it.

  • Amyable Atheist

    I wonder if they screen for STDs while they’re screening for atheists? X-D

    And what about repentant, reformed felons? Aren’t Christians supposed to forgive/love /welcome them? Or is it like voting, where you lose the privilege regardless? How charitably Christ-like of them!

  • mattincinci

    looks pretty creepy to me lol

    well unless they happen to be gay men LOL

  • MaleficVTwin

    I mostly ignore those facebook ads, but when I see the ‘Christian’ ones I always ‘x’ them out and select ‘misleading’ as the reason.

  • rbray14

    i always mark them as offensive myself.
    they’d be offensive even if i was a
    Christian.then again what aren’t people of any
    religion or lack there of not offended by these days? 🙂

  • Okay, I understand you’re doing this for humorous purposes, but I’m always a little miffed when hot + big boobs + cleavage is insinuated to be equivalent to slutty/wild/”not good Christian girls.” Maybe my feminist dial is turned up too high today, but that’s a pet peeve of mine.

  • Tim Carroll

    Free* Love?

  • Jenn, I agree with you but I have also seen fundies *coughRayComfortcough* complain about women showing cleavage in pictures online. So yes it is wrong to associate hot, big boobs and cleavage as slutty/wild/not good Christian girls even though some, not all, fundies do just that.

  • Amyable Atheist

    @Jennifurret – dunno, my feminist dial is pretty much always cranked a little too high, but when I see flaunted cleavage + “Christian,” I get an = hypocrite.

    Not to mention that the other point I think Hemant is making is that (a) these are probably fake pictures and therefor misleading and (b) it’s pretty creepy to be using cleavage to advertise “Christian” dating – a habit might be overkill, but what about that nice crewneck sweater your father bought you? ;-p

  • MaleficVTwin

    I guarantee they’re fake pics. A couple are even badly photoshopped.

    As far as True screening for atheists, I think that’s only their Xtian subgroup. Their main page only lists married people or convicts as being actively screened out.

  • BreamStalk and Amyable Atheist – Yeah, yeah, I know – you guys are probably right. I guess being a well endowed lady just makes this a trigger issue for me.

  • They could screen for true Christians by saying that each “hookup” comes “free” with this Jesus guy where every relationship is a “three-way”. All true Christians are polyamorous in this way. Perhaps they could picture each girl (or guy) in the dating ad with Jesus by their side. Then you would know that you would be getting “two for the price of one”.

    (Of course, not all polyamorous people are Christians…)

  • Richard Wade

    They’ll never do. I mean, where are their cross necklaces?

    Oh the cross necklaces are just lost down amidst all that “hot, big boobs and cleavage” that Jennifurret has pointed out. (I hadn’t noticed until then.)

  • How exactly do they screen for atheists? For that matter, how would they know who’s married or a felon? They’re assuming a lot of honesty in these online profiles…

    I can’t believe people are still confused about this. Let me make it easy for you. Only christians can post on these sites. Being christians they can be absolutely trusted to always tell the truth. If you find someone that lied on one of these sites, then obviously that person wasn’t a christian. Since only christians can post, and since that person isn’t a christian, that means that they never posted on the site. That proves that you can trust everything that has been posted on these sites. Sheesh.

  • littlejohn

    Now we know why they’re called Miracle Bras. The *uplift* and separate!
    Seriously, though. Who are the sluttiest-looking, most over-made-up women on TV? Televangelists’ wives, that’s who. Remember Tammy Faye?

  • MaleficVTwin

    Remember Tammy Faye?

    Ugh. I had forgotten.

  • Silus

    These pictures are fakes, or at least the people in them certainly aren’t part of that dating service. The pics have been floating around the internet for at least a year and a half, and are used by a variety of people to sell their crap.

  • Daniel

    For that matter, how would they know who’s married or a felon?

    They do a background check, just like if you were applying for a job. That’s part of the fee for joining. The ever-discriminatory eharmony does the same thing, I know a girl who does background screenings for them.

    Screening for Atheism is more difficult. Presumably they require you to watch the Comfort banana video, and see if you crack up.

  • Margy

    Oh the cross necklaces are just lost down amidst all that “hot, big boobs and cleavage” that Jennifurret has pointed out. (I hadn’t noticed until then.)

    Richard, I always enjoy and admire your thoughtful, well-reasoned “Ask Richard” columns, but today, you just cracked me up! ;^D

  • muggle

    @Jennifurret – dunno, my feminist dial is pretty much always cranked a little too high, but when I see flaunted cleavage + “Christian,” I get an = hypocrite

    Same here.

    And may I add aren’t good Christian men supposed to care what’s in her heart rather than over it? Aren’t they supposed to be looking for inner beauty, not outer? Yeah, note that none of those gals looked like your Sunday school teacher.

    Also, where’s the male eye candy? Hemant, I demand equal time. Since Christian women are supposed to be subservient to men, I guess we don’t get ads the opposite way around since women don’t feel the evil lust. /sarcasm

    As for screening out Atheist, just labelling themselves Christian would tend to do that quite effectively I think. I know some of you have fallen in love with Christians but really how many have specifically sought out a woman of faith? (I know that’s sexist. I’m responding to the sexism in their ad of women waiting around for that mythical being Mr. Right to just find them.)

  • You atheists are lightweights at finding weird Christian shit. Leave it to the preacher. Try this one on for size.

  • MH

    Jonathan Weyer, wow.

  • @ Jonathan: That’s so fucked up…

  • Eliza

    Jonathan, Hemant was getting there – first, though, don’t those nice Christian men have to find nice Christian women to participate in CDD with them? (Or can Jesus be their CDD buddy?)

  • littlejohn

    Wow. Are we sure that’s not a Poe?
    Well, of course we aren’t. Poe’s law and so forth.
    If that’s not a Poe, it is really, seriously fucked up. I thought I looked at kinky shit online.

  • Little John,
    Um, well, this wasn’t discoverd by any, er, untoward interest. It was sent by another preacher friend of mine as a joke. Pretty messed up, yeah?

  • I smell a key party at the CDD Christmas get together!!!
    I wonder if everyone gets a paddle for their Kris Kringle gifts?

  • TXatheist

    Boys will be boys(it’s evolutionary) and I can’t say all the ladies at UU are drop dead hot but some are just like in a xian church.

  • You’re forgetting that most Christians are hypocrites when it comes to sex. The very thing they rail against is the thing they want the most. The slutty virgin is exactly what these sites are intentionally trying to sell.

  • That Christian discipline site has been noted before by Greta Christina. Talk about repression.

    And the “good Christian girls” is an overrated cliche, anyhow.

  • An observation that has nothing to do with the religious angle of these ads:

    Any time you see an asterisk after the word “free,” as seen in the third image, then you KNOW it cannot really be “free” at all. That asterisk betrays some kind of cost that WILL kick in eventually.

  • Brian Macker

    Er, most christian women don’t wear crosses unless perhaps they are worried about vampires. Also, let’s be honest here, there are a hell of a lot of sexy christian chicks. Did the ads claim they were “good” Christians or just Christians?

    Where did Jesus rail against push up bras? Didn’t the guy hang out with a hooker, Mary? Hell, Jesus’ mother fucked around on his cuckolded adoptive father.

  • I wonder after clicking on these ads, do those seeking “true Christians” end up clicking over to something by Rick Warren.. just in case someone’s watching their history.

  • I’m not sure why not sure why the “True” ad about screening against atheists was was posted.  It’s not now now and never was accurate.  I think this is some spam or third-party ad campaign that threw on the atheist part but True includes both atheist and agnostic for a personal identification, an interest in another person, and as a search term.  The labels these fall under (along with traditional religious beliefs) are “beliefs and values” and “commitment”.  They don’t even have a bias toward religion.  okcupid.com is also awesome and free in case anyone wants a dating site.  But there’s no reason to avoid True, other than the cost and spaminess of it.