Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Soaks in the Publicity September 17, 2009

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Soaks in the Publicity

This website has been up for only a little while, but I’ve been seeing it everywhere: Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA.

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

It’s funny and quirky, and one of the guys who runs the site (“Bart”) is the same guy whose book you see an ad for in the right sidebar of this site — under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump.

The website’s popularity has helped sales of his book quite a bit — it’s rated in the Top 20 atheist books on Amazon, a feat that is very impressive for a self-published author.

In an email, he also writes:

Between earlier radio interviews in the UK; Canadian Broadcasting Corporation; Australian Broadcasting; Sirius radio ; the Huffington Post; and various news blog sites, that “15 minutes of fame” Andy Warhol promised each of us has stretched into a full hour for us. Brad and I were even invited to address the Austin Texas Center for Inquiry about the site.

We’ve received almost 3,000 emails, mostly from atheists congratulating us on the “brilliance” of the idea, and asking to become pet rescuers in their states.

I don’t think the site’s making him much cash, but I’m as stunned as he is by the amount of publicity it’s getting.

Good for him. It’s a wonderful, albeit unintended, media campaign that has worked beyond anyone’s imagination. The fact that so many people seem to be taking it seriously — that they find it so believable that this service could be offered — makes it all the more powerful.

And to anyone who thinks it’s a joke, I’d disagree. I’m sure the site’s owners have every intention of following through with their service.

Unlike psychics or tarot card readers who knowingly make stuff up and intentionally dupe the gullible, Bart and Brad will gladly take care of your pets after the rapture.

They just feel secure in the knowledge that that day is never going to come.

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  • mikespeir

    Unlike psychics or tarot card readers who knowingly make stuff up and intentionally dupe the gullible, Bart and Brad will gladly take care of your pets after the rapture.

    Exactly. He’s not duping anybody. He’s just fleecing the already duped.

  • They should offering “power of attorney” to their suite of services as well. When you are ruptured who is going to take care of your bank account and make sure your estate is in order? You wouldn’t want to put your loved ones who didn’t get ruptured at risk of financial penalty because there was no immediate power-of-attorney to take care of things.

    I wonder if any insurance companies would be willing to sell rapture insurance. The faithful could buy policies and in the event that the rapture comes and they are not beamed up, then they can collect an insurance settlement. The underwriting on the insurance would, of course, look at how faithful the person was along with age to determine the monthly fee.

  • littlejohn

    I’ve corresponded with this guy, and this is a scam. He advertises that xian pet owners cannot meet the actual atheist who will take care of their pets, and he’s a hard-core athiest (a 7 on Dawkins’s scale) hiself.
    I think we can reasonably assume he has no atheists lined up for this and is keeping any monies for himself. He knows perfectly well there will be no rapture.
    Yeah, the people who fall for this are morons, but I think it is immoral to accept their money for a service he knows he will never perform.
    For the sake of honesty, I should point out that I contacted him in an effort to get in on the deal. But at least I would have kept my word in the incredibly unlikely event of rapture.
    I assume he is lying about having a team of pet-loving atheists. How would anyone know if he won’t identify them?

  • Richard Wade

    Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.

    How can I be confirmed as an atheist? Is there a governing body that awards certification as a confirmed atheist? Are there written, oral and physical tests? Is there a gradient of how atheistic (is that the adjective?) a person is measured to be, or are you simply an atheist or not? How much does confirmation cost, and do I have to get renewals, to make sure I haven’t slipped into theism? Do I get a certificate suitable for framing and a card for my wallet? I’d love to be a “card-carrying atheist.” The certificate and card could say,

    This is to confirm that Richard Wade is a has met all the requirements to be a Board-Certified atheist, with all the rights and privileges thereof. Which, in this society, amounts to less than zero.

  • How can I be confirmed as an atheist?

    Well the younger you-tube “new” atheists have a “blasphemy challenge” where you tape yourself saying that you deny the Holy Spirit. Many fundamentalists believe that if you willingly and consciously articulate those words, then there is no way you can get to heaven. For some, that would be sufficient demonstration that you will be here after the Rapture. Moderate Christians, though, may not be convinced that those words are a deal breaker.

    Of course, the flaw in the blasphemy challenge is that one could actually believe in God but be so pissed off at Him that you are willing to say those words. In that case, you wouldn’t be an atheist, but according to the fundamentalists, you would still miss out on the rapture.

    It is all kind-of silly.

  • Hemant,
    Thanks for the nice article. The publicity certainly has surpassed our expectations.


    Your “asumption” is eroneous. so many are.
    Obviously you are free to doubt, even slander… but the facts are we limited our service to only 22 states (we just added NC and GA) because those are states where we have friends and relatives who are known to my site partner and I as reliable people and atheists.

    Since we are accepting money for our service, to not have the rescuer infrastructue in place who could be confirmed as being in our employ, would leave us liable for fraud. Anyone with a modicum of intellect and familiarity with the law could understand that. I’m sorry both evade you.

    by “confirmed atheist” we mean they have been vetted by us, and have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29. Understand that blapheming against the Holy Spirit, per Mark, is the only unforgivable sin, thus negating any chance of salvation…as if salvation meant anything to us.
    While the designation “confirmed” is superfluous to you and I, you and I are not the target audience of our site.

    Yours in reason,
    aka Dromedary Hump

  • Alyssa

    So genius.

  • This Youtube video is a classic, with the same type of comedy.

  • OMG, that you-tube video is SO FUNNY!

  • Staceyjw

    I am SO jealous that I didn’t think of this first! I wonder if I can get a franchise for my area? 🙂

  • PRESS RELEASE October 2, 2009

    Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA the country’s only established post Rapture pet rescue operation announces it will now include post rapture rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in the states of VT, NH, ID, and MT.

  • Tomas S

    I’m inclined to agree with LittleJohn. I corresponded briefly with Bart to ask how he’d reply to an objection which should be obvious if he’d done the slightest amount of research into what rapture-believers actually believe. He called me a liar and told me never to write to him again.

  • Tomas,
    I don’t recall calling you a liar. I believe I called you an imbecile.

    You repeatedly asked a hypotheical question that has yet to be posed by any of my prospective clients. I responded to your inquiry. Your subsequent emails repeated that same question including an insistence that I had a legal exposure, which was patently silly.

    I thanked you for your concern, dismissed it as misguided and a waste of my time, and asked you to stop jamming my inbox with your obesessive inquiry. Subsequently I had to block your email address.

    Hopefully you’re over your obession.**


    (** which is confirmed by your posting to a 10 month old blog article.)

  • andy From DC

    How is this any different from a Shaman ( Priest/preacher) taking these fools money? I think Mr Bart is brilliant.
    If these God Squadrons REALLY believed their superstitions this site would be flooded with clients.

  • Bartleby

    Ummmmm ! My what a weird world! So they’ve supposedly got 250 clients to pay to look after their pets at the supposed ‘End Of The World’? I mean “Rapurists” must believe it’s the end of the world, right? So if it’s the End of The World where are all the rescuers gonna be? In Hell right? So who’s looking after the pets? Satan????

  • Holly

    No, the saved are gone and the rest of us are here with our pets, and their pets, suffering during horrible hell-on-earth times for a very long, long time.

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