What Do You Do with a Plastic Fetus? August 15, 2009

What Do You Do with a Plastic Fetus?

By Guest Contributor
August 15, 2009

Datamancer was doing a project where he needed about 4 to 5 plastic fetuses. I don’t know what project that was, but I’m curious…

Anyway, apparently, plastic fetuses only come in bags of 50. I did not know this.

So what do you do with the extras?

You destroy them and document their fates.

4. Fetus, the other white meat.

A friend of mine works in a deli and shrinkwrapped the fetus I gave him. It even has a custom label that says “Fetus, Male, 6oz.” He had some fun with it for a few days, slipping it into the deli case and messing with people, then later traded it for 2 shots, 3 beers, and 6 cigarettes.

None too shabby.



This is going to get *really* good around fetus #30, I’m sure of it.

(Thanks to Enola for the link!)

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  • For some reason, when I read the title, I almost started singing it to the tune of What do You do with a Drunken Sailor. Weird huh?

    What Do You Do with a Plastic Fetus?
    What Do You Do with a Plastic Fetus?
    What Do You Do with a Plastic Fetus?
    Errr lie in duh marnin’

  • mikespeir

    Good way to get oneself fired.

  • Good way to get oneself fired.

    This.

  • Microbiologychick

    I got a fetus from a pro-life group once. It wasn’t plastic, though. It was cyberskin, just like those realistic sex toys. 🙂

  • Beelsabub

    Thanks for the link! I checked out the rest of Datamancer’s website and now lust for a steampunk laptop.

  • llewelly

    Good way to get oneself fired.

    Precisely. A wonderful, and honorable cause to get fired for.

  • Carlie

    Robert: I did the exact same thing.

  • Epistaxis

    I got a fetus from a pro-life group once.

    I wonder if that’s where these came from. A fetus this size shouldn’t have limbs.

  • I put them in little jars: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29327135

    Datamancer however is having much more fun with them I think.

  • medussa

    In the 80’s I used to protect abortion clinics from being forcibly closed by anti-choicers.
    Among many other strategies to annoy and irritate, I’d bring a thermos of hot coffee and pour a cup for any religious types who looked tired. Floating in the steaming coffee would invariably be a few plastic fetuses. I still have a few of them, and remember the reactions fondly….

  • I got one as I was walking by a pro-life rally. I just stuck it in my purse and forgot about it. Later, my dog Mack went rifling through my bag and found it. It is now one of his favorite toys. I guess the soft plastic feels good on his teeth…

  • Go by the local women’s health clinic and hand them out to the fetus fetishists who are always there harassing the women. Bonus points if you drench the plastic fetuses in fake blood so they’ll match the ones depicted in the crude signs they’re often waving.

  • Epistaxis

    Microwave it. Put it on YouTube. Tell me where to find it.

  • I’ll have to see if I can find the picture of my dog with the fetus…

  • …And uploaded. But I can’t get the pics to show up here. Here’s the link to them.

  • Tivity

    A friend of mine is making some “god’s abortion” yarn. I’m sending her this link so she can post too. I cannot wait to see it when she’s finished!

  • Man, you guys really need to learn some respect for life. How many of you would shudder in fear and claim persecution if anything was done to Darwin fish and scarlet A t-shirts? Making fetus jokes is so – middle school. Grow up.

  • Carlie

    Man, you guys really need to learn some respect for life.

    Plastic feti aren’t alive.

    Making fetus jokes is so – middle school. Grow up.

    The fact that they are sold in 50-packs is hilarious. What exactly would anyone need a pack of 50 plastic feti for? That’s the joke.

  • That’s not the point. The point is what the fetal models represent – and that’s human life. Putting them in coffee is just, well, disgusting.

    So is talking about shrink-wrapping fetuses. Just because we are atheists and we don’t believe that life comes from God, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be respectful of all human life.

  • ThirtyFiveUp

    Putting them in coffee is just, well, disgusting.

    Frik, one wonders if you know anything about anatomy. Would you like to know how a fertilization happens? Would you like to know where a fetus exits the female?

    If and when you are fertilized and you give birth, you may be astonished at the messiness of it all.

    Coffee is immaculate compared to the actual events.

    PS About half of all conceptions fail. Many before the female even knows what happened. Maybe just a heavy menses.

    PS2 But maybe your comment is snark.

  • I think your are confusing respect and sacred. I believe nothing is sacred so I have no problem making little fetuses and sticking them in jars for jewelry. I don’t equate respect with being off limits for jokes.

    These aren’t real fetuses so have a sense of humor, no one is implying we do these things to real fetuses.

  • Rachel

    So…where exactly can you buy these? Google wasn’t much help.

  • Staceyjw

    Ha ha ha- how messed up is it that you can buy a plastic mini-fetus? Let alone 50!!! I don’t think they are even biologically correct- but I guess they don’t need to be.

    I had one in high school- my BFF and I named it “Freddy the Fetus” and hung it from the rear view mirror by a coat hanger. We thought this was super funny, and loved to torment anti-choicers with it whenever possible. (Immature, but funny- ah, youth!)

    If anyone finds out where to get them, please post. I would LOVE to mail one to that friend!

  • Staceyjw

    Where to buy FETUS DOLLS- aka “sidewalk counseling tools” (they really do call them this)

    From the totally insane Heritage House:
    http://www.hh76.com/pro_life_products_details.asp?prod_id=3378&display_grouping_id=&group_id=66&page=1&look=1

    AND, the lower cost version:
    http://www.hh76.com/pro_life_products_details.asp?prod_id=190&display_grouping_id=&group_id=66&page=1&look=1
    Make sure to check out the other stuff they sell. The irony is humorous.

    Also:
    http://www.maternalsource.com/Maternal%20Source%20Website/prod40.htm#Young%20One

    Another vendor:
    http://godslittleones.homestead.com/microplasticase.html

    All I can say is YIKES. Now you know…..
    (PLEASE Don’t give these organizations your money, don’t help them!)

  • Carlie

    Hearts are part of life, too, and last I looked they are used as decorations all over the place. You can also get plushy organs. Is that offensive as well?

  • Shelly

    I am “anti-choice,” but I found the little plastic fetus pretty funny when I received it at a right to life booth once. My roommate and I began a little game called “Where’s the fetus?” We would hide it from each other, and wait for it to be found. Some hiding places were: in an ice cube tray, a bag of flour, the washing machine, etc. Good clean fun, literally and figuratively.

  • Reedz7

    Thanks for the info and actually I will give them my money!

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