Here in Chicago this Saturday at 1:00 p.m., near the Bean, there will be a lot of PDAs taking place. In fact, people will be kissing all over the country at that time as part of the Great Nationwide Kiss-In.
It’s in response to the gay couples who have recently been arrested for kissing their same-sex partners.
The purpose is to show that kissing is not a bad thing, so “bring your husband or wife or partner or boyfriend or girlfriend or good friend” and take a stand.
Of course, the abstinence-only crowd sees this as pure evil.
The Illinois Family Institute is instructing Illinoisans to avoid the Bean at that time.
Why? What’s wrong with kissing? IFI Director Laurie Higgins explains:
An adult kissing a pre-pubescent child or a high school-age adolescent in a sexual or romantic manner is both obscene and inappropriate despite the protestations of the North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) to the contrary.
Romantic or sexual kissing between two consenting adults who are in love and who are closely related by blood is both obscene and inappropriate despite the protestations of defenders of incest to the contrary.
Romantic or sexual kissing among “multi-partner” unions, like those profiled in a recent Newsweek article, are both obscene and inappropriate despite the protests of polyamorists to the contrary.
Romantic or sexual kissing between two people of the same biological sex is both obscene and inappropriate despite the voluble, vigorous, and often vitriolic protests of homosexuals to the contrary.
So they’re not against two people kissing… they’re only against it if it involves adults and children, incestuous couples, polyamorous couples (triples?), and gay couples.
Because apparently they’re all alike…
IFI is not suggesting that homosexual kissing be banned. What we hope is that the public would recover both a proper understanding of the immorality of homosexual acts and the courage to voice that belief, so that public disapproval will be strong enough to persuade homosexuals to voluntarily restrict their kissing to private venues. Many adults do not care to witness obscene and inappropriate kissing, and their children shouldn’t have to.
Reading that makes me wish I had a gay boyfriend.
Alas.
The only thing that could make this kiss-in even better is if it took place just outside Higgins’ house.
The kiss-in is a great idea specifically because gay couples kissing in public is a bit unsettling for some to see. I know I rarely see it in public. But straight couples do it all the time and it doesn’t faze me at all.
Let them all kiss and let’s hope the event persuades gay couples not to be afraid of doing what straight couples do all the time.
Meanwhile, Higgins can do whatever she’d like to with her children. She might feel more comfortable if each kid came equipped with a blindfold. She could then tie it around them in case they dare go out in public where (*gasp*) gay people might be engaging in some harmless PDA.