How to Pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster August 3, 2009

How to Pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster

By Guest Contributor
August 3, 2009

You just have to fold your hands like this:

No wonder His Noodliness hasn’t been answering my prayers. I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time!

(via Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)

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  • John

    I’m going to start doing that at events where there is prayer.

  • Ubi Dubium

    Love it! But I wouldn’t expect His Noodliness to answer prayers or anything. I think He spends most of his time drunk, and He’s really not very bright. AND He has a really juvenile sense of humor, so He’s as likely to throw a pie at you, or a hurricane, as He is to grant any specific requests.

  • John

    Most of time drunk: Check
    Not very Bright: Check
    Juvenile sense of humor: Check

    I was god when I was in college!

  • Liudvikas

    Another proof FSM is real, not like of some christians our prayer hand pose resembles our god.

  • Rob

    Is there a special angle I have to hold my hands and arms? I know some christians have published articles on the proper angle between the arms and head to maximize the reception with brain waves.

    I bet if my thumbs aren’t at 22.5 degrees then the FSM will be less likely to answer my prayer.

  • But if I fold my hands like that the scar on my thumb is really visible. How will His Noodliness view the marring of my thumb when I pretend to pray?

    …hang on though. I got the scar in as drinking game from a shattered glass. WIN!

  • I think you are suppose to touch your thumbs to the bottom of your chin and wiggle your fingers while praying (that you get the bar-tenders attention to order another beer).

  • mikespeir

    And if he continues not to answer your prayers, you’re still not doing it right. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime–I mean, right to the very last gasp–to figure it out.

  • Alec

    It is advised to wiggle your fingers to honor his noodly apendages, and you may recite the following:

    Our pasta, who art in a colander, Draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, On top some grated parmesan. Give us this day our garlic bread, And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, For thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. Ramen.

  • Ubi Dubium

    Ah yes, Alec, thank you. Although I prefer the alternate wording in the middle: “…and give us our cutlasses, As we swashbuckle, swear, and splice the mainbrace…” I also prefer the wording “…Swallowed be thy name…” Otherwise, wonderful! Of course, there is no official wording of this yet, as we are still compiling the Loose Canon.

    Yarrrgh and RAmen!

  • peaches

    you people are wierd speghetti can’t fly and is not made to be worshiped it is made to eat>

  • epi 1:10,000

    No No No, You can’t pray to it directy! You have to pray to Joe pesci and if he can’t or won’t take care of it he might forward it to the FSM if he wants to.