Who Should I Worship? July 31, 2009

Who Should I Worship?

By Guest Contributor
July 31, 2009

I can’t decide between Richard Dawkins, Satan (who looks suspiciously like Dawkins), Prince Philip (who looks like Dawkins if he lost an arm), or Tom Cruise (who looks like Dawkins if he gained an arm and a dose of crazy).

Oh no! The Flying Spaghetti Monster is also on the list!

And Nothing!

And Science!

I don’t know what to do 🙁

(Thanks to Christopher for the link!)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment

  • Personally, I find Sauron a tempting choice.

  • Surely the chart is incomplete. I mean ‘cake’ isn’t on the list, neither is ‘sex’.

    You’d need pin head sized choices and a chart a mile across…at least.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    The question is “whom should I worship?”

    The answer is: worship me, the god of grammatical pedantry.

  • Ha, I just watched 2001: A Space Odyssey, so it’s definitely the Black Obelisk for me.

  • Emily

    Oh! Clearly the answer is cthulhu

    But there’s no reason to pick just one

  • Alan E.

    I’m going to make a chart like this, but change who I worship every day. Would it still be considered agnosticism if I did that, giving equal weight to every possibility?

  • Brad

    Beware… you will become like who you worship

  • Claudia

    I closed my eyes and pointed at random.

    I now worship the unblinking eye of My Lord Sauron.

  • I am disturbed by the lack of Optimus Prime on that list.

  • Todd

    Now wait just a minute. It’s missing both Eris and J.R. ‘Bob’ Dobbs.

    fnord

  • Austin

    I for one will be worshipping the Great Prophet Zarquon.

  • Nicole C.

    It seems there are many worshippable beings who were not included on the list. I would include Voldemort, Spock and Shigeru Miyamoto on the next version of the list.

  • jemand

    Yes Todd, I believe the omission of Eris is an offense deserving of some serious smiting.

    Fortunately for the artist Eris is presently on holiday in the Alps. She can be reached at:

    Partial Tribulation C/O Agnon Hautcrét du Muguet 1 1109 Lausanne Switzerland

  • Robyn

    I picked with my tablet pen, landed right smack dab on Richard Dawkins. I guess I CAN call him the Atheist Pope, now! 😀

  • trixr4kids

    I have to pick Prince Philip. He looks like Edward Gorey’s Black Doll.

  • Bleatmop

    Cthulhu I choose you!!! (with a pokemon like chant)

  • Skunque

    Giant lizards.

    Without a doubt.

  • cicely

    I see the tentacles, beckoning….

  • DreamDevil

    Where are the great gods of Chaos?

    FOR KHORNE!!!

  • Takma’rierah

    I pick Antubis, who is sort of like Anubis only he’s a giant talking anteater with teeth.

  • Tony

    I find it interesting that the Almighty God looks like a dog’s arse.

  • uhhhh… maybe i opened my eye just a little bit… I chose “nothing”…

  • cbloom8

    What about the sun? I can see it!

  • Worship the fact that you’ve got a good brain and are strong enough to act without this perpetual crutch called, variously, the bible/God/Satan/whoever. Worship the fact that you don’t need an idol to tell you how to behave with compassion, courage, dignity and kindness. Worship the fact you are not needing to believe in books written three thousand years ago whose adherents solemnly would have you believe to be valid today. Worship the fact that life exists and it is wonderous. Deplore those people who would have you believe it was all created by a God. How illogical is that? Worship the fact you do not believe women to be slaves or mentally deficient creatures. And eschew all others who, by omission, if not outright coercion, would have you to be enslaved by mediocrities claiming to be acting in His-whoever he/she is-name.

  • Otto

    Why should you worship anyone or anything? Just be yourself and trust in yourself.

  • Here are some more choices to select from:

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3539/3404027169_3baa841465_b.jpg

  • Thilina

    I landed between Dawkins and the Giant Lizard.
    So i now worship ………… The mighty Richardzilla.

    I just imagined the Godzilla scene with Richard Dawkins destroying a city and a bunch of scared creationists shouting “Oh no! it’s Richardzilla”.

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