The Evangel Cathedral Website July 30, 2009

The Evangel Cathedral Website

By Guest Contributor
July 30, 2009

The Evangel Cathedral has one freaky little website.

It gets very loud after you get through the intro. You may want some gauze close by so you can wrap some around your ears after they start bleeding.

You’ve been warned.

…

I do enjoy the pastor’s facial expressions in the upper left.

I also like that when I click on “Prayer Requests,” it sounds like a porno is about to begin.

What type of person does all this appeal to, I wonder?

(Thanks to Fred for the link!)

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  • Andrew C.

    I believe they’re using a sample from Hello by Lionel Richie for Prayer Requests.

  • anonentity

    Sometimes a litte Flash is a good thing and then sometimes there’s just Too Much Flash.

    And then there’s this.

  • bill

    jesus christ that’s bright. will i be compensated for medical bills concerning my seizure? or since it’s part of god’s will do i have to pay it myself?

  • Sam

    That’s gaudy

    /sorry

  • Jon

    Christianity: Now in EXXXTREME FLAVOURS!

    “GODBERRY- King of the juice.”
    -PowerThirst 2

  • nani

    haha, yeah. a friend of mine found this (and others just like it) a little while ago. the guy who designs them loves his flash and they all are pretty similar. it’s like CHURCH: THE SCI-FI THRILLER

    EDIT: http://www.sharperfx.com/kkmime/index13.htm this one is even more amazing

  • Rob

    They’re at war with god. Did you see the missles firing from the church towards heaven at the end of the intro?

  • ZombieGirl

    Hahahahahahaha that “Prayer Requests” was sooooo tempting. I couldn’t help but request something… I hope he has a sense of humor. My humor is so immature. XD

  • Topher

    All the intro is missing is the the deep voice guy from the movie trailers, “In a world were…”

  • Gabemik

    That intro is like the opening to a video game. Camelot, a high-class (according to them) dining hall attached to the back of the church. That link plays a jazz version of the 70’s hit “Feel Like Makin’ Love”.

  • Tyler in SoCal

    SharperFX needs to be banned from the internet for flash-rape.

  • Ubi Dubium

    Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My Ears! My Eyes! My Brain!

    Who possibly thought it was a good idea to pay somebody to make that website? I agree about the seizures – if they ever claim to do “faith healing” they’d better start with epilepsy.

  • «bønez_brigade»

    god damn! That’s some extreme web developing for Jesus right there.
    Methinks Mountain Dew was involved at some point in the design process.

  • Bryna

    Church…In…Space…

    I want to know what you have to do to become a ‘Fully Accredited Bible College.’ Is there a Bible College Accredidation agency? And what do they require of an institution?

  • Gross abuse of flash! Wow my eyes and ears are bleeding!

  • Tankred

    Wait. Wait, what? The pastor is dressed like a Sorcerer in the Prayer Request section. Magic [prayer] missile incoming!

  • sc0tt

    The pastor is dressed like a Sorcerer in the Prayer Request section.

    I thought he looked more like a Kung Fu master.

    “Praise the Lord; on-line tithing is here”
    ROFL.

  • charles

    i think i’m gonna get their soundtrack.

  • nani

    actually, i’m pretty sure there is a bible college accreditation agency. some of the colleges i looked at (and i’m so glad i choose a liberal brainwashing public college instead) had some sort of special bible college accreditation if i remember correctly. and fundamentalist baptist colleges are scaaaaaaary.

  • nogos-noqt

    Coming up next: When Computational Media Goes Bad.

  • Claudia

    Oy, it’s not my ears that are bleeding, it’s my eyes! I got seasick watching that site.

    -The intro looked more like the website of some graphics-intensive first person shooter games than a church.
    – Camelot, their little banquet hall. Please can’t someone contact a gay couple so they can try to celebrate their commitment ceremony there? Just for laughs.
    – Lotta sexy music don’t you think? I like it, sex is bad, so you put the horny music and crooning R&B singing to “give us each day our daily bread”. New technology, old tricks: the church used to make huge paintings of kinky orgies as “warnings against sin”.
    – They have a “singles ministry”, I guess that’s where all the good parties are…in praise of god, of course 😉

  • Shannon

    Ok, that is so over the top I think it actually became kind of cool, lol! I had to stop watching though. My eyes were hurting, lol!

    I like the big grin on his face. He looks like he enjoys his job.

  • Ziggy

    this is the greatest website I have ever seen. I’m not even sure if I’m being sarcastic or not anymore

  • Somebody has some incredible Flash skills – http://www.artisanblue.com. However, I think they need a mute button for not only the audio but the video too.

    To be fair to the designer, the pastor had to sign off on the extreme Flash assault so the pastor may be color blind and tone deaf.

  • Kimber

    hahahaha, I clicked the link. I have had a kitten sleeping on me, but upon hearing the music (?), he took off. The pastor in the top corner is so jolly. Looking at the alternating pics of him kiiind of makes the site worth while… if you aren’t prone to seizures, but do happen to be deaf.

  • hye lol

    that intro is glorious

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