The Blaspheming Begins

Now that Ireland has passed blasphemy laws, individuals and groups are ready to challenge it.

Ian O’Doherty wrote this in The Irish Independent:

So, we’re now officially the most religiously deranged country in the civilised world.

Now that blasphemous libel has been introduced to the statue books, it will be a crime to have a pop at religions.

So, here we go — Catholicism is a cannibal cult which eats its leader, Jews who believe that God wants them to settle in the Holy Land are deranged lunatics, Muslims who wants to install Islamic law are nothing but fascist terrorists and Scientologists are nothing but a bunch of brainwashed weirdos who have been suckered by the malicious rantings of a failed science-fiction writer.

Alright lads, I’ll see you in court.

Richard Dawkins adds:

“One of the world’s most beautiful and best-loved countries, Ireland has recently become one of the most respected as well: dynamic, go-ahead, modern, civilised — a green and pleasant silicon valley. This preposterous blasphemy law puts all that respect at risk… It is a wretched, backward, uncivilised regression to the middle ages. Who was the bright spark who thought to besmirch the revered name of Ireland by proposing anything so stupid?”

Atheist Ireland will be putting up their own purposely blasphemous statement soon.

It sounds like these groups and newspapers ought to have a contest: What’s the shortest blasphemous statement you can make?

(via New Humanist)

":All inquiries should be made through the pool boy."

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Astreja

Epistaxis

Is Dawkins saying the original Silicon Valley isn’t green or pleasant? Around here, that’s blasphemy.
Christine

Shortest blasphemous statement? With blasphemy being defined as “offended a large number of believers”?

There is no god.

That should do it.
Robin

God certainly does NOT exist. Especially in Ireland.
Don Sinclair

For maximum blasphemy, I guess you have to go for swearies, so I guess ‘F*ck God’ is a classic for impact and brevity. I guess you could add something about anuses, but I think that’s very much a matter for the conscience of the individual blasphemer.
Takma’rierah

God sucks.
mkb

God S…s
Brandon

JTFC.
Anticontrame

Jebus
AnonyMouse

God is dead. (Alt: God’s Dead.)
Jeff

Ireland should just declare the whole lower part of the island a prison and be done with it. Then the good (but politically apathetic) people of Ireland can get along with living their life and saying what they want.
Jeff

How about “I’m a Protestant Atheist”.

That should really get them riled up.
Doubting Foo

What’s the shortest blasphemous statement you can make?
F$%# Jesus and the ass he road in on!
Noadi

Fuck God

Though you could exchange it with most of the other 7 words.
Carl

Really didn’t expect this from Ireland.

Short blasphemous statements:
“Jesus ate babies”
“Jesus never existed”
“God cheats”
“Science is god”
“God hates you”

I’m sure one of those will rile up anyone who supports a law like this.
Paul Lundgren

Noadi FTW.

“In the bullshit department, there isn’t a salesperson in the world who can hold a candle to a clergyman.”

George Carlin.
What Would Professor Pat Pending Do?

Stolen from Usenet’s septic tank, alt.tasteless:

“I sh!t on your filthy Christ”.

For those looking for a more visual blasphemy, I’m betting wearing a “Fu(k the skull of Jesus” logo on a t-shirt would do it.

There’s no way I’m providing you with a link to that one.
Nathan

God is homosexual.
The Rebel Teapot

“I deny the Holy Spirit”?
Gabemik

Noadi, that was exactly what I was coming in to add. Now, what to try?

I fucked your god.
It adds that personal touch that a good blasphemous curse needs. 🙂
Emily

I think Nietzsche won that contest… 😉
Renacier

I’m God.
Yossarian

“Jesus Horsefucking Christ”

For those who always wondered what the “H” stood for…
GT

~~God~~
Winner?
Wendy

God’s gay.

Hehe.
Irish Atheist

Virgin Mary? Yeah. Right.

The cracker turns into God? Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Resurrection My Arse

If you believe the Bible, you will believe Anything
postsimian

“___”
Robert Cook

My vote for the most concentrated blasphemy ever as far as Christianity is concerned is, “Jesus Christ on a stick.” These five words cut to the heart of everything Christianity stands for and then farts in its general direction.
Doug

I once saw someone called a “popefucker”.
I think it’s an awesome insult.
J Myers

Fuck God

Noadi FTW.

Noadi, that was exactly what I was coming in to add. Now, what to try?

Uh… is Don Sinclair invisible or something?
Spook

Jebem ti Boga

“I fuck your god” in Croatian.
Jake

I wonder what scriptures blaspheme other religions.
This would make it against the law to simply read their “holy” texts.
Indigo

God is a syphilitic shanker.
Slugsie

Right, to be slightly serious for a moment. Given that many fundies assert that Atheism is a religion I think it’s time to use that to our advantage. It shouldn’t be too hard to claim that any reading of a Catholic text etc. would be considered offensive to an Atheist, and is thus blasphemous. So, when can we expect to see the Priests, Bishops, Imams etc up in the dock?

BTW, My vote was for F*ck God too, but I got beaten to it so I had to come up with another reason to comment. 😉
Bethor

I think you guys are thinking too small, singling out one god for this “shortest blasphemy contest” 😉

I’d go with :
“men invented gods” or “gods do not exist”. The former is shorter but may be too subtle 😉
billybee

“Cocksuckingchrist”

ed current came up with that one…it’s not very short, but it sure is funny.
sc0tt

Your pretend god is a bastard.

That’d make an awesome billboard too.
Villaine

Ooo I can win this

god

Notice I used a lowercase “g”? gasp…
Zerotarian

Jesus was a motherfucker.

(Think about it…)
Ty

I figured the best thing to do in protest out here was to buy a “Mary was a virgin, if you don’t count anal” T-shirt. Looks like T-Shirt Hell buckled to complaints and no longer makes them. God fucking Jesus with a strap-on, can’t a guy get a break!
Jessica A.

I was going to go with “god isn’t” but I think I like “fuck god” better…
Stephan Goodwin

So the Koran is illegal in Ireland for specifically calling Christians monkeys and Jews pigs right? Or at least they are the children of them according to that “holy” book.

And the Bible is illegal because it calls strong atheists fools?

Hmm, this law could be fun…
motobass

I always liked, Jesus F*ing Christ on a Stick.
Dr.Bruce

When “f u c k g o d” is the correct phrase, but is not allowed, a reasonable substitute might be just “fake god”.
Dr.Bruce

Is insulting just one god something that would not be blasphemous to polytheistic religions, such as Norse and Mormon and Hindu? Would Catholicism also be considered polytheistic, saints be braised?
Jeff

IMO, profanity is a lazy man’s blasphemy.

I prefer the following:

“God is vain”
Mathew Wilder

Fuck Jesus! [/Cartman voice]
little my

god is omniMpotent
tonya

I have to go with

god(s) = fiction

not the shortest but it kills all the birds with one stone.
Jeff B

Jesus boned a hooker
Jesus Lover

I used to read the bible at night before bed, then rub myself on it whilst thinking about the holes in Jesus’ before falling asleep exhausted. /blaspheming