Worst Dad Ever? June 21, 2009

Worst Dad Ever?

By Guest Contributor
June 21, 2009

Here’s an interesting question to pose on Father’s Day: Was the God of the Bible the worst dad ever?

  • He ordered one of his sons to murder his grandson, only telling him it was a joke at the last second.

  • … Yahweh also plays the meanest game of hide and seek ever, hiding from his children in such a way that he cannot be found, then sending those children who can’t find him to Hell for eternity.

  • He told his people to capture the towns of other nations, to kill them all and their animals, but keep the virgins for themselves to rape.

There are plenty more justifications here and here.

I wonder if the Con list would be longer than the Christians’ possible Pro list…

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  • Ron in Houston

    Great post. The irony will be immediately apparent to those who question, but for those who believe, I suspect the subtlety will be wholly lost.

  • He never paid a dime in child support.

  • What Would Professor Pat Pending Do?

    I just wonder how many on the Con list would make the Christian’s Pro list.

  • But you forget that whatever (truly whatever) God does is good by definition. If He does it, it is good. Period. End of story. Its not for us to judge God in any way. If God orders a genocide, it is good. If God kills all first born male babies, it is good. If God floods and kills off practically all animal (including human) life on the planet, it is good. If God condemns the vast majority to eternal torture for eternity, it is good. He is a great father and we should always ask “what would Jesus do?”. If we aren’t sure, we should just do what our pastor or priest tells us. 🙄

  • The priest told me to put on a school boy outfit and then….and then….. 🙁

  • Brooks

    But is Yahweh a worse father than Allah?

  • Infinite Monkey

    We can’t forget that he put a hit out on his own son. Well, either put a hit out, or sat idly by while he was killed-slowly.

  • Richard Wade

    Well let’s see, he creates his first son out of mud, tempts him with a “Do Not Touch” sign, (literally the oldest trick in the book) then gets pissed when his mud boy falls for it. Well, duh.

    Then he plays shameless favoritism between his two grandsons until the screwed one murders the favored one, and then chastises the screwed one for doing that. Well, duh.

    Then he gives his kids and surviving grandkid nobody else to procreate with so they sire a race of inbred idiots and he eventually becomes disgusted with them. Well, duh.

    So he drowns all of humanity, animals and plants, except for one extended family and a pair of each animal. (Whoops, looks like more inbreeding again, so now we’ll have idiot animals as well as idiot people.) Pretty soon he’s disgusted yet again. Well, duh.

    This time he chooses one tribe to favor over all the others, (a tribal version of the favoritism thing he did to his grandsons,) so of course throughout history they get the resentful crap from all the other tribes, and that pisses him off. Well, duh.

    Finally, he makes a new son which is actually a clone of himself, so he can sacrifice his clone-self-son to himself by means of horrible torture (which is okay since it’s really just him abusing himself) and he has his mud kids do the dirty work because somehow that will stop him from being so pissed off at all his mud kids. (Except for the hell part, of course.) But then he stays invisible and unavailable for comment so most of his kids don’t buy any of the story. Well, duh.

    ___

    Yeah, I’d say Yahweh was even a worse father than Zeus, who was a neglectful and manipulative Class double-A asshole with most of his kids, and he had a lot more brats.

  • Epistaxis

    What a deadbeat! DTMFA!

  • Christians have a “Pro list”? I wonder what’s on it? Um, ‘cos God says so in this old book of dubious origin and much revision. Is there anything else?

  • Isaiah 5:20-21

    20 Woe to those who call evil good
    and good evil,
    who put darkness for light
    and light for darkness,
    who put bitter for sweet
    and sweet for bitter!

    21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!

    Psalm 50:16-23

    16 But to the wicked God says:
    “What right have you to recite my statutes or take my covenant on your lips?
    17 For you hate discipline, and you cast my words behind you.
    18 If you see a thief, you are pleased with him, and you keep company with adulterers.

    19 “You give your mouth free rein for evil, and your tongue frames deceit.
    20 You sit and speak against your brother;
    you slander your own mother’s son.
    21 These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I was one like yourself.
    But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you.

    22 “Mark this, then, you who forget God,
    lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver!
    23 The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
    to one who orders his way rightly
    I will show the salvation of God!”

  • mikespeir

    Well, that’s just silly.

  • Richard Wade

    Oh, thanks, Jason for another of your copy-and-paste Bronze Age rants written by long-dead men to control other long-dead men through fear. Too bad some people living in the 21st century still fall for the “Invisible Boogeyman in the Sky” scam. Thanks anyway, but we’re not interested in buying your extortion services. Selling protection is what gangsters do. You should consider a more positive line of work, like maybe selling shoes.

  • numsix

    Hey wait, extortion, Rome Mafia, Vatican head of the RCC, Richard, you may be on to something.

    Perhaps the ‘good’ book is a Mob how to book and we should all…..

    Never mind, to stupid and disjointed thinking even for a Monday.

  • Richard:

    Oh, thanks, Jason for another of your copy-and-paste Bronze Age rants written by long-dead men to control other long-dead men through fear.

    Don’t mention it, the pleasure is mine sir! I love to share the Word of God with anyone I encounter, especially when God is being mocked for His sovereignty.

    Thanks anyway, but we’re not interested in buying your extortion services. Selling protection is what gangsters do. You should consider a more positive line of work, like maybe selling shoes.

    Thank you for the interest in my well being. I am (at present) gainfully employed, but you never can be too prepared in an economy like this…So I will keep “SHOE SALESMAN” in mind.

    However, I must say that although shoes are important…and can be quite comfy for 85 years or so….I’d rather spend my time doing something with greater eternal significance.

    Salvation can not be sold. It can not be bought and it can not be obtained via means of extortion or intimidation….It can only be found by the meek in spirit, who receive this gift freely through their humility, repentance and faith in the same God whose existence you mock.

    I find it quite interesting how much anger the simple words of “controlling dead men” can cause someone who claims to be a non-believer.

  • Sock

    (John 6:43) But Jesus replied, “Stop complaining about what I said.”
    (John 11:35) Then Jesus wept.

  • Richard Wade

    Jason,

    I find it quite interesting how much anger the simple words of “controlling dead men” can cause someone who claims to be a non-believer.

    You find it “quite interesting.” Well spit it out, don’t be coy and pretend that you actually have some point on which you can impale me. What exactly is the “quite interesting” hypothesis you’ve come up with?

    Does anger in this case somehow invalidate something else? If so, exactly what? Does it reveal in this case anything other than itself? If so, exactly what? Are you implying that I am not actually a non-believer? If so, exactly why? Are you claiming that you know my mind better than I do? If so, exactly how? Is there some connection between my disgust at men’s attempts to intimidate others with superstition and giving any credence to that superstition? That makes no sense to me. If that makes sense to you, exactly how?

    Your method does not work. Spouting bits and pieces of scripture is just not compelling, not convincing. Spouting threatening bits and pieces of scripture actually backfires. You say:

    Salvation can not be sold. It can not be bought and it can not be obtained via means of extortion or intimidation….It can only be found by the meek in spirit, who receive this gift freely through their humility, repentance and faith in the same God whose existence you mock.

    If it cannot be obtained by means of intimidation, then what exactly was the point of all that scary, threatening scripture? “I’m gonna tear you apart!” That does not make me believe in your love-god, nor does it make me believe that you are actually a person who is meek in spirit.

    At least when gangsters sell protection, they actually show up with muscles and guns to show what they have to back up their threat. All you have is an old book that says “You’re gonna get it when Daddy gets home.” But The Great Goon never arrives. He’s 2000 years late.

    The love angle would probably work better.

  • Jason, lets spread the word throughout Christendom that “salvation” is through humility, repentance and faith… and there is NO NEED TO TITHE nor attend services to be told what to do by authority figures.

    I’m envisioning pastors and priests all across the land saying “NOOOOO!!!!”

    Atheists CAN be humble. Atheists CAN recognize prior bad behavior, feel sorry, and do better. Atheist CAN have faith in humanity, science, and be optimistic about the future.

    The only real difference is that Atheists don’t accept arguments from authority figures. Oh, and that little God belief (and afterlife) thing.

  • Shane

    “I’d rather spend my time doing something with greater eternal significance.”

    “It can only be found by the meek in spirit, who receive this gift freely through their humility”

    Humility FAIL.

    Yes, your inane babbling has eternal significance. In fact, you are so important that upon your death you will raised up to the right hand of the ultimate Lord of the Universe for eternity and get to watch the atheists writhing in hell because you have the cannibal-blood-pact with the J-man.

    Yes, keep trying to convince yourself that atheists are the arrogant, deluded ones…

    Any anger is solely aimed at your arrogant, unwanted babbling–I don’t give a flying **** about the scribblings of iron age shepherds (not the bronze age–I think they actually started compiling it in the very early iron age). You would get the same reaction spouting off quotes from “The Secret”, Scientology, or Amway.

    Jesus died over 2000 years ago. He’s still dead. He’s not coming back. Get over it. Your obsession is unhealthy.

  • Richard:

    Does anger in this case somehow invalidate something else?

    Nope…just a simple observation. I’m not trying string you along for some brilliant “gotcha” moment. I’m not smart enough for that. I simply find it interesting. [end of story] I guess my easily manipulated mind finds interest in things like that.

    Regarding your suggestion that “the love angle” might work better…It actually does, that’s why churches like Joel Osteen’s and Rick Warren’s are thriving. People don’t want to hear about their sin. They don’t want to submit to a higher authority than themselves…and I’m not talking about atheists here either…I’m talking about the “christians” who actually believe in this “Great Goon” you speak of…

    But no favors are done for anyone to paint a picture of a “Boy Scout” Jesus or a “sugar-daddy” God. If you are going to be foolish enough (as many say) to believe in God, I think it would be a good idea to have a correct understanding of who he claims to be.

    God never claimed to be the “muscles and guns” to protect those who believe in him. In fact, he said, “whoever loses his life for my sake will save it”. There are plenty of men who have understood rightly who God is, had a reverence for his glory, and then were killed for their ‘silly little’ beliefs. Many of these men are the same ones who wrote the Bible which you claim was only written to intimidate others. Yikes! Now that, friend, is a very interesting twist of fate.

  • Shane:

    Yes, your inane babbling has eternal significance. In fact, you are so important that upon your death you will [be] raised up to the right hand of the ultimate Lord of the Universe for eternity and get to watch the atheists writhing in hell because you have the cannibal-blood-pact with the J-man.

    Humility FAIL? Seriously? I think the real failure is your understanding of what I was trying to say in my post regarding humility.

    The humility I speak of is a rightful understanding that the “J-man” is not on the same level as me. Or should I say that I am not on the same level as him. Not even close. It’s an understanding that I am a sinner (oops, can I say that here) and that because of my sin I have earned an all-expenses-paid trip to an eternity in hell (OK, I know I can’t say that one here). It’s an understanding that without the “cannibal-blood-sacrifice” of Jesus Christ (or the J-man as you call him) on the cross as a propitiation for my sins, the relationship which was originally designed between man and their Holy God would never be restored. It’s an understanding that along with PERFECT LOVE comes PERFECT JUSTICE. And that a Holy and Righteous God can not stand the presence of sin. Christ paid the price of our sin and because of that I will forever be grateful and humbled by his love, mercy and glory!
    I don’t pride myself on this understanding. In fact I’m humbled by the fact that apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, I would be shaking a mocking fist at God just like you. I don’t find pleasure in the TRUTH behind the eternal existence of those who don’t accept the gift of grace from God. The thought of atheists (or anyone for that matter) spending eternity [writhing] in Hell (oops, there I go again) is not something that brings me joy. In fact, it brings me great sadness, which is exactly why I “waste” my time cutting-and-pasting God’s Word into blog posts instead of selling shoes.

    Yes, keep trying to convince yourself that atheists are the arrogant, deluded ones…

    Actually, I don’t think I need to. You’re doing a fine job of that yourself!

  • Jason, lets spread the word throughout Christendom that “salvation” is through humility, repentance and faith… and there is NO NEED TO TITHE nor attend services to be told what to do by authority figures.

    Tell me where to sign up!!! Shoot, I’ll even go to GoDaddy.com and register the domain name.

    Church is good, so is tithe for that matter. Heck, I even believe that elders in the church have a biblical role…But none of these have anything to do with salvation.

  • Jason,

    I believe in humility, repentance, and faith but only as applied to THIS LIFE as a means to live a better life. I don’t believe there is an afterlife. No evidence whatsoever. I believe all notions of an afterlife are inventions of man… just wishful thinking. I think it is unhealthy for religion to go around scaring people with the concept of Hell. It might be good “for business”, but it is a deceitful business.

    Jeff

  • Jeff:

    Obviously you and I have differing opinions. And I can respect that. I do believe there are a lot of good atheists. I have several friends that fall into that category. So if somehow I misspoke and lead people to believe that somehow atheists are worse humans than Christians, then I apologize. I don’t believe that at all.

    My point is simply that for those who do believe in the scriptures, there is a certain amount of obligation to ensure that those who don’t know God, those who choose to reject God, or those who choose to reject the concept of a god, are at least aware of the possibility of his existence. It’s not about business, although plenty have made it into that.

    The reality is this; the message Christ preached [true or not] had nothing to do with money. He was not on a mission to swindle money from the weak minded. He walked from place to place informing the world that the Kingdom of God is at hand. And the world had [and has] two ways to respond…Belief or disbelief. And only time will tell who is right and who is wrong.

    Thank you for your insight. And good luck to you my friend.