Should Atheists Parents Stop Their Kids From Mocking Religion?

I’m only 20 so kids are a long way off, but I feel personally that I’m going to try to avoid influencing my children to be that judgmental of other people. I remember the way I thought, as I was raised Roman Catholic, that Baptists were always “those crazy baptists,” something I inherited from hearing my mom repeat that phrase multiple times. And it wasn’t just baptists but just about anybody that didn’t think the way my family thought. In some ways thoughts of that nature and identifying strongly with one’s family’s beliefs are unavoidable, but I think encouraging open-mindedness and acceptance can help deter harsh judgments and stereotyping. I think most of us would agree that closed-minded assumptions of people without aiming greater understanding is something we stand against, and we should try to avoid allowing children to become so harsh and judgmental and encourage them to understand and experience other people as they grow older and wiser.

As I’m not going to have children for a while (uh, hopefully at least), I don’t know if I can comment on how to handle it. Though I must say, if this kid’s basement is anything like my parent’s, fear of going down there alone is completely rational.

I have to deal with this with my 10 year old son and really don’t know what to do.

I tend to get very upset by the FRC and groups like them and I don’t hold back when I talk to my husband about religion as a tool of hatred and manipulation. My language is often, um, colorful during these rant sessions. Now I am noticing a tendency in my son to say religion is stupid and to mock classmates (to me not to them) who believe in god. And I am also unsure of how to deal with it. On one hand I know he is mirroring my beliefs and that I would like my son to grow to question the validity of religion. However, I also don’t want him to be arrogant about his views. This is one of the things that I am often shouting about in my anger towards religion when it comes to policy decisions in this country. I’m not sure how to talk to my son about it. I don’t think it’s a good idea or even possible for me to not react viscerally to certain news. Plus, it’s a good idea for him to see that passion towards politics is good, avoid apathy and all that. He just seems disinterested when I try to talk about my views towards god and religion in a more rational and thought out manner. I mean he is ten and angry ranting mommy is fun and funny, dispassionate conceptual mommy is dull, dull, dull.

I have 4 kids…all raised atheist…though any could freely investigate religion as they chose. Currently ages 15, 16, 18 and 20.

So…how ‘should’ parents be? Well…that is not what I will address, because that assumes that I know the right way and any other way is wrong.

I will relate how we taught our kids. We taught them to be respectful…not of the religion…but of the person. just as they would want others to respect them. If you are hearing the golden Rule…you are correct. I have no problem teaching a lesson that the Buddha taught…even if Jesus tried to make it his own.

Our kids, especially our oldest daughter (who is 18 now) have always been outspoken. They understand their lack of belief and can support it pretty well. They also understand religion enough to know what it is they do not believe. They are also good kids…not meaning that boastful…but my kids are a great example, I think, of how atheist children can be compassionate and ethical and good citizens. They have never been ashamed to call themselves atheist, however, and so they drew the attention, focus and ire of over-zealous christian kids in their schools. we have some pretty ugly stories about some pretty ugly christians…kids and adults.

I have always used that as the lesson, though. ‘Look at how that made you feel. How bad they made you feel, or tried to make you feel about your beliefs. Do you want to make others feel bad about their beliefs?” Of course, in some respects…if the goal is to deconvert them all..then yes. But frankly that is not my mission nor is it the mission of my kids. They are busy starting their own lives…they do not need to worry about what other people believe to that level.

Basically I taught them that lampooning and making fun of something as preposterous as religion is easy and can be fun and funny…but they have to understand that to the believer it is something very dear and very personal. I explained that, as with anything, there is a time and a place. I have taught them that on a one on one basis they are to be respectful of others in all cases…not just religion…but religion is part and parcel. (And respect does not mean they cannot ever be critical of religion…it just is guideline for how and when and why)

Are they perfect…no. But I think when they have over-stepped, they understand why and how and have genuinely felt bad about it.

For example…my youngest son (who is 15)…at his school there is a group called Kids For Christ. KFC. They put up signs for a pancake breakfast they were hosting, and he vandalized their signs to say ‘Kids For Chicken”. He pasted a picture of a bucket of KFC and put something like “Come Eat this is the Flesh of my Bird”. (I must admit I had to fight back some chuckles myself). My daughter ratted him out to me (as a sister will…hehe…siblings are siblings)…and when I confronted him about it, he was sorry. I asked what he was going to do, and he said he would fess up. So he went to the teacher who sponsored the club and offered to work their pancake breakfast. He did go and work it…had a great time. I do not think he will be doing that anymore…vandalism or overt attempts to make a religious group look bad. He said the christian kids said some mean things but their teacher/sponsor made them stop and by the end of the event he had made some new friends, and had at least earned the respect of the teacher.

As I said..they are not perfect…but who is. Life is a series of lessons, and the best we can hope for is to learn and move on. When my kids do start making fun of religion I will join in if it is in private or the time is right, but I will point out that it is not the kind of thing to do towards people who take it personal…without understanding the ramifications or without some reason or agenda where the use of such a thing is constructive.

And ultimately…the largest reason why our kids would be better off not making fun of religion too much is…well, there are more of them then us, and they get offended way easier than others. No point in having your relgious teachers and principles and others who are in authority over you get a negative view of you. Doing so could work out very negatively for you.

So…should? That is up to each parent and kid…but for us, having a level of respect for the person (again, not the religion…subtle difference, but it is big)was first and foremost.

Note here…I say this…but during the “No On Prop 8” protests here in Cali, my kids all took to the street corners on weekends and evenings…holding signs and showing oppostion. During that, they were treated to some of the most hateful nasty ugly despicable treatment by religious people. To which my daughter observed that atheist are better at acting christian than christians. Maybe a bit off the mark…but I knew what she emant…and I agree.

K: “Once again, I do not agree. I do not believe we should all clasp hands and sing kumbaya.
Religion should be mocked.”

It’s one thing to mock religion. It’s another thing to write off believers as stupid, as if only the stupid have irrational beliefs. The latter should be discouraged simply because it is irrational.

Hey, all atheists know dark basements are where Cthulhu likes to hide!

There’s a difference between mocking religion, which is always fair game, and mocking individual followers of said religion, which I think needs more of a case by case treatment. If the religious follower is not arrogant or mocking, I suggest a reasoned approach to their strange beliefs. If they are themselves mocking, use a parody of science in their arguments then a mocking approach seems very reasonable.

Maybe the fact that children parroting your words makes you uncomfortable means you should re-evaluate what you’re saying.
Of course a child shouldn’t be taught that it’s okay to point and laugh at someone. Adults ought to live by this rule also. I don’t care how much you disagree with religion, the cheap shots lobbied at the religious from the non religious are rude. Please no one say the phrase “kid gloves”. It’s not using kid gloves to treat someone with respect as a human being even as you disagree with what they are saying. Convince them with logic, not with insults.
If you are ashamed at your child saying it, you’d better have a good reason for why you’re allowed to say it.

The above being a comment on the title of this post. As for the story told in the post, I like the way the parent handled it. Have a discussion about why those people might believe what they believe, and what you feel about it, and remind your child that they are still people and still deserving of respect as such, even if you find their beliefs silly.

I think this is a false dilemma. It’s still asking whether or not some group (religion) should receive special treatment.

All ideas and the people who hold them are constantly being evaluated by others. Because beliefs translate into desires and intentions, which translate into action.

Looking at someone’s beliefs about the world is largely how we decide who to be friends with, who to hire, who to marry, etc. Espousing a set of principles is just about the strongest statement you can make to the world. People who have mistaken principles or no principles at all are a danger to themselves and others.

Everyone should therefore expect to be evaluated, judged, and treated accordingly. I think kids should be taught to understand that there are times and places that require varying degrees of honesty in this regard.

If someone’s wife is repulsive, you don’t go telling them. But you are certainly going to think it, along with the hope that she is subjectively beautiful to her husband. In the end that’s all that matters that the people are happy. Not what anyone thinks about their desirability. Because relationships are only of concern to the people involved.

Religion would have the same respect if its adherents didn’t go around trying to change laws and claiming a privileged position from which to control morality. It is these consequences of unfounded beliefs that actually *require* disrespect to maintain a just society.

It’s not just that religious people are asking us to accept their decision to marry an ugly wife, they want us to sleep with her, too.

People are not their beliefs. If people have ridiculous beliefs then those beliefs should get ridiculed. Dale McGowan rightly points out that it’s not the “stupid things” comment that was a problem, but the “stupid people” comment was wrong.

It depends on whether you want your kids to have more of the same or if you want them to have a better society than this one.

If you want more of the same, then by all means mock, ridicule and lead your children by example. If you want them to have a better society, show compassion and mercy and understanding and teach your children to do the same.

I’m a Christian and it works both ways. When one of our kids said, “?? doesn’t believe in God,” my wife and I went over the line one more time – “It doesn’t matter what they believe or don’t believe, we treat people with respect.” I think this is especially important to instill in children as they are so easily led to pick on someone who’s different – He wears glasses, She’s fat, He wears old shoes etc. etc. etc. I’m sure we’ve all been there, either as victim, perp, or observer.

I hope that, if I said anything like that to them, they would say “/why/ do they believe that”? instead of that kid’s response.

Condescension or mockery of other people’s idea is never a good or intelligent way of handling things.

Mockery is a powerful weapon, it would be terrible if we didn’t employ it against faith.

It all depends. If the kid mocks the tv, why not let him? Where’s the harm in that? It doesn’t mean he’ll mock the believers to their faces. (That’s probably not the right thing to do – unless, of course, they start it. Mockery is better than violence.)

On a tangentially related note, my kids loved the “submissive Jesus” commercials! You think he’s joking when he says it’s a good birthday present for a kid, but Nico (7) and Leo (5) were on and on about how they want it (with no encouragement except for letting them watch the first video commercial). And my husband wondered aloud how this would go over with my parents if they decided to talk about it there… 😉

You actually have to consider whether you should teach your children to not mock and ridicule others? Somehow, that just sounds really wrong. The arrogance is a little overwhelming.

no NO and NO.
kids are so clean and chaste and kindhearted, don’t make them the same monsters as you are, i wish i could be a kid again, and be religious from the first, this bad company taunting religion adn God can be influent to them and is a big punishment for people who do it. i see them in my class, those who mock religion, always avoid being alone, are sensible, distressed etc, dislike them. if one falls in this dangerous thing such as insulting God, dont make young spirits do the same.
remember wheni was a kid, i praised so much God and Religion ceremonies, and when you do it everything changes. Really don’t.
of course God is, hopefully i die as a muslim.