An Atheist Birth Video? May 1, 2009

An Atheist Birth Video?

By Guest Contributor
May 1, 2009

Not trying to feed the troll, but this is too funny to pass up.

Below is a video of a birthing simulation. The dummy delivers a baby in a variety of situations (like breech birth) and midwives and obstetricians-in-training can practice their skills.

Apparently, this Christian conservative doesn’t understand childbirth:

I am absolutely disgusted by this following video. It is meant to be a teaching tool to some nurses but they are using improper anatomical models and not telling their students.

…

When those who are qualified watch the video, notice how the separator flap is missing and the secret place ‘magically’ opens so the baby can pop out. This is just all wrong and not science!

…

They didn’t directly admit to it but this video strikes me as propaganda. They are trying to make childbirth look more painful than it really is so women will be tempted to get abortions.

…

Already this video has lead you to believe that a woman’s secret area can somehow ‘dilate’ by 10 cm, and that will somehow allow a full grown baby to come out of there. That is not physically possible.

Ah, yes. He figured us out. We show birth videos to inspire abortions.

And if women can’t dilate 10 cm, someone should really tell Wikipedia.

I really hope this is a Poe.

(Thanks to Troy for the link!)

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  • RealismFTW

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

  • beckster

    I think that guys is serious. Read the comments on the website. He is either really good at playing the crazy right wing christian bigot or he actually is one.

  • Abner Cadaver II

    Why are you so intolerant? Stork Theory is perfectly valid and should be taught alongside Naturalistic Obstetrics!

  • Vincent

    That’s impossible!
    Everyone knows the truth is storks drop babies in their mommies’ laps. This is just some sick excuse to get people thinking about a woman’s unmentionables.
    Ack! Now I’m thinking about the magic place where I may want to put the shameful thing!
    Now I need to say 10 hail maries!

  • Um, I was personally present at the birth of both my children, and I can say from observation that the process was….not comfortable for my wife. This Nordgren guy, as well as being a grade-A ignoramus, is a headcase — women shouldn’t be allowed to watch a childbirth video, but it’s OK for him to? I’m getting some seriously creepy vibes off that!

  • Josh BA

    1) Yes. Everyone in-the-know knows that birth is impossible.

    2) The force monitoring feature is pretty damn sweet. (Okay, I admit I am a geek)

  • The site’s a parody.

  • RealismFTW

    After reviewing the site, it does seem to be a parody. None the less, the whole site is hilarious.

  • GullWatcher

    Hard to tell – the article on “Mexican Zombie Flu Raises Black Rapper “Tupac” From The Dead” and the Edward Current video “My Cat is a Christian” clearly indicate satire, but then there are ones like “An Alarming Video Every American Should See” that seem perfectly serious with no trace of satire (it’s a video of someone speaking in Arabic with a translation that indicates he’s promoting terrorism) which, if satire, is the least satiric I’ve ever seen.

    Poe? Not Poe? It seems like total satire until you hit the articles that seem completely genuine. Those do make me doubt some….

  • Escualidus Arrechus

    That site has got to be a parody. Check out the other headlines/contributors.

  • cicely

    “Separator flap”?

  • bill

    yeah there is no doubt in my mind that is a parody. i mean, ‘secret area’? i mean i wouldn’t necessarily expect any ultra conservative to come out screaming VAGINA in big bold letters, but anybody aiming to be taken seriously would never say ‘secret area’…

  • Leanstrum

    Yeah DEFINITELY a Poe.

    I keep telling myself that to stave off suicide, but yeah, definitely.

  • Lost Left Coaster

    I checked out the site. I vote that it’s a parody.

  • Reginald Selkirk

  • Perhaps the joke is on atheists whose bigotry is at such a level they actually believe anyone saying these things could be serious.

  • Wes

    The other headlines on that site make me think it’s definitely a Poe.

  • Shane

    It’s a joke site–unless a clown actually threw his red nose at Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “Secret place ‘magically’ opens” FTW.

  • Having not perused the site, I may have gotten Poe’d — but in a world that contains Ray Comfort and that crazy Utah senator, you can’t conclude parody just by absurdity alone. There are people out there who really are that batshit insane.

  • I sure hope it’s a parody but it’s so hard to tell.

    Makarios: Might I direct you to go look up Fred Phelps and also the World Net Daily. Go read those, keeping in mind those ARE NOT parody sites and come back and tell me again no one can say things like that seriously.

  • Rest

    @markarios

    As someone who grew up in the fundamentalist and charismatic movement, being exposed to some seriously fecked up stories, I can tell you that it’s very difficult to distinguish between parody and sincerity when certain Christians voice their opinions on the Internets.

  • Rob

    Whew its a poe!

  • I still don’t know what he means by a separator flap. Obviously, he’s not at all familiar with human anatomy. I wonder if he was home schooled.

  • CatBallou

    Gotta be a satire. Some of the topic titles are just hilarious, and the photos of the contributors are all a little “off.”

  • Tim

    I’m just getting the WordPress install page. I think we killed it.

  • DeafAtheist

    When I sent Hemant the link I did think it was serious. Even browsing other articles on the site I thought it was serious… one article on there said it was okay for a husband to smack his wife if she steps out of line.

    I sincerely hope it’s a Poe because if it’s not there’s some disturbing shit on there.

  • beijingrrl

    Hey, Robert Madewell, my kids are homeschooled! At least in my area of S. California, the wacky ultra-religious homeschoolers are a minority. You’re more likely to find the other end of the spectrum here. Just like with other minority groups, including atheists, the media likes to feature the fringe nutjobs. Most of the homeschoolers I know do it so their kids are exposed to a larger variety of ideas and experiences than they could get in school.

    I’m not angry, just really tired of that stereotype.

  • This is definitely a POE. The site’s overloaded right now, and here’s the message:

    “Site currently down due to high volume of traffic and other atheistic evils. To help out, please pray and then hit refresh.”

    No way is that serious.

  • The Rebel Teapot

    *snort* “Articulated Baby” made me laugh aloud.

  • If the site is a Poe, it’s a very impressive Poe.

    They should do a comedy skit with a Christian gynecologist performing surgery with blinders on so he can’t see the “secret place”.

  • Site’s a total satire. They’re way to glib about things. Funny though.

  • Welkie

    Wait – I’m not *supposed* to have a separator flap? No wonder my gynecologist was so confused!

  • Definately Poe but very well played by them. I was rolling reading the comments.

  • As others have noted, the site appears to be parody/satire–and very well done at that.

  • zoo

    As someone who grew up in the fundamentalist and charismatic movement, being exposed to some seriously fecked up stories, I can tell you that it’s very difficult to distinguish between parody and sincerity when certain Christians voice their opinions on the Internets.

    I’ll second this. It’s quite difficult for me to distinguish between real and parody because I’ve seen SO MUCH real in my first 23 years, and I’m not in church any more but my family has not otherwise changed so the four years since aren’t much different, and I’ve only been exposed to parody (and rarely at that) for the last three to four months.

    On another note, I REALLY did not need to see that image. I wasn’t going to have kids anyway, but I’m very much less inclined with that graphic in mind.

  • hey beijingrrl,
    Sorry if I offended. In Arkansas it’s the other way around. Most parents here homeschool their children to avoid exposing them to a science education.

    Please forgive me for any offense I caused. I promise to be more sensitive in the future.

  • beckster

    I am glad everyone thinks it is a poe. Whew! The last thing we need are more Westboro Baptist Churches. There are people who really are serious and promote misogynistic, homophobic, and racist beliefs that are eerily similar to this parody. Consider yourself lucky if you have never had to sit through a conversation with someone who holds such beliefs.

  • MikeTheInfidel

    President Sarah Palin Interview On American Chopper

    Plus Edward Current videos.

    No question about it now – it’s a Poe.

  • Parody – and video is clearly a product demo of Patsy Pelvis and her child, Neil Natal, enumerating the features of a delivery simulator.
    You atheists are just sooo gullible (hee)!

  • Whitleylad

    To quote Victor Meldrew, ‘I don’t Believe It!’

    I have been to the birth of both my daughters, and what my wife went through! I’m in awe and impressed. This is a simple fact of life. What’s their problem? This is natural, as god intended, surely.\sarcasm

    Oh wait, I’ve got it, this must be a bloke making these comments, probably a Catholic priest! Can’t be worse than getting kicked in the nuts… right.

    If you are not sure just ask the Quiverfull. They must know what it’s like.

  • There is nothing friendly about atheism.

  • LuMi

    by “seperator flap” i think he ment the labia minora, the inner labia. not sure tho…

    “Secret place ‘magically’ opens” FTW.

    seconded

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